I have 3 sweet but awfully dumb dogs. And then sadly a bird that came straight out of the bowels of hell. He is meaner than crap! Every day when he gets table scraps, he calls the dogs in by name. "c'mere. here. come on girl. here ya go." Then he slides down to the floor of the cage with a chunk of whatever he had in his dish. Every single time, they come. They press their nose into the bars of the cage and the bird takes a chunk out of it. Every day! For the older two dogs this has gone on for years. And still they haven't figured out, he's evil. Just evil to the bone.

Now I had some hope for Lunk. The dog you see pictured here. She's bigger than the other two and therefore it would be logical to expect that she might have a bigger and better working brain, right? Nope. Not only does she have pieces missing from the tip of her nose but he also manages to catch her tail as she walks by all dumb and wagging. And then he refuses to let it go. I have to literally pull her tail out of his beak. Then he starts laughing. Ahhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Other times, he calls them in, then he yells at them, "Get! Get outta here! Go on. Get! Stop it! Stop it! Get over there."

It's making me nuts! He never shuts up. And they just keep doing what he tells them to do.

Oh and I don't dare slip up and swear in front the little rat. Because he'll repeat every curse I ever uttered. Only he waits until I have company to do it, imitating my voice.

And he remembers things. I pissed him off once. I was eating something that had chocolate in it. (chocolate is poison for birds. Thinking back, I should have given him a bite, the nasty little feathered punk) Anyway he starts begging, "Here. Here. Gimme." To which I responded politely, "Yeah, bite me. It's mine and I'm eating all of it."

Two days later when I was reaching into his cage to change his perch, the damn thing bit a triangle shaped hole right into the knuckle of my index finger. Then he started up with that maniacal laughing he likes to do just after he's commited yet another misdead.

Anybody else out there have weird pets? Is it me?