about
Since the day I could walk, near as I can remember, I have been, a critter freak. Which has on occasion, (ok daily) caused me to be a giant boil on the butt of every human companion I have ever had. I vex them.I give homes to any living varmint that appears to need one. Always have. Always will. Even if I have to hide them from ner'do - critter - well family members.
Our poor mother was the first but sadly, not last, victim of my sick need to save and preserve the animal kingdom.
The first really bad situation happened the year of the big storm. It rained for days. We lived on a ravine. The ravine flooded and all manner of fish could be found flopping around on dry land. M-E was just a baby at that time. Squirrel however was old enough to recruit. Which is just what I did. We filled the bathtub up with water. Snagged Mom’s mop bucket and began a fish rescue mission. I’m telling you, we had that bathtub filled to the brim with fishes. It was GREAT!
I needed time to talk Mom into letting us keep the fish so I closed the shower curtain, carefully hiding them from view. By the time she got home that night, The Squirrel, baby M-E, and I were all deeply absorbed in something on tv. Mom went in to take a shower.
The water came on in the bathroom and a few minutes later, a scream, followed by a host of obscenities most likely heard not only in our neighborhood but also the next county, came outa that bathroom like a green cloud of toxic waste.
Then came the one thing you never want to hear….your first annnnnnd middle name followed by….”get your ass in here, NOW!”
Surprisingly, I was not allowed to keep the fish. Nor could I sit comfortably for a good long time.
Barman, send me the pic when you get it and I'll tell you what the little booger is. I have woodchucks here. A whole family. They look like little teddy bears almost. Smilin George and my woodchuck have a hate-hate relationship. I have a video of George barking like a rabid beast through one side of the window at the woodchuck and the woodchuck showing his teeth back to George right up against the other side. They crack me up!
Denny, I tell her that all the time.
Did you know she bit me once! I'm not kidding. She really did.
My sister was crwaling which probably put me at about 3 or so. Somehow the front window drape cord got around her neck. Crawling away with the rope around your neck is probably not a good thing. Now I doubt I did that but truthfully I only remember this because for a while it was the only story my parents seemed to know.
Personally I think they were just getting senile or they made it up because I don't see no scars. Well kidney scar but I didn't have nothing to do with her having 3 kidneys, honest.
Now I know I am going to regret this but I would say stunts like that should have given Jake at least a few free passes while growing up. Passes that I am sure he has long since used up.
Barman you have no idea the things I've found in Jake's room over the years. LOL!
Once I was in the process of getting ready for one of those la tee da, make-up selling parties. (I got roped into it by a neighbor. If I hadn't liked her so much I never would have gone along with it.) Anyway, Jake ball python went missing the day the ladies were due to arrive. OY!
But that's another story.
i'm not rubbing nothing. (excuse my double negative) but no way. ask squirrel to rub something.
she had a closet full of baby East chicks too. Seems that folks only think that they are cute on Easter, but the next day they let them loose. bunch of dumb a---- if you ask me. of course crabby had to go round them all up.
oh and there was that lizard thing that she had. it got lose crabby so don't be mad at jake.
barman, they didn't try to hang me, but squirrel dropped me on my head once, i carry that scar to this day, it's on the corner of my left eye.
crabby never tried to kill me, only bribe me. you see bob would come over at lunch so crabby would bribe me to stay in moms room and play in the make up. so i would sit at her vanity (i have that vanity and sit at it everyday) i would apply make up, curl my hair, wear moms skirts and high heel shoes. no wonder i have a shoe thing, i just bought 5 pair this weekend.
denny, what kind of stuff did you do? give us the dirt on you. ;)
At 5/15/2006 7:08 PM, 
SignGurl
That is hilarious, Crabby!!! I love it. You are my kind of gal.
I had baby racoons, Rocky and Rachel, that I tried to save after their mother was shot by the neighbor. It's really hard to work feeding them every 3 hours with an eye dropper when you are only 10. Needless to say, those little suckers died.
signgurl haha
please don't be mad after i tell you about the time the i attacked baby racoons trying to save a nest of baby robins that had built thier home on my fence. my ex, chad was telling me to get back in the house, but i wouldn't. he kept saying that the mother was around somewhere. finally he came out to help.
it was late and i let ladd out to go potty, i could hear this growling type noise, so of course i went right out there. down off of the deck, and then i spotted them. little babies down at one end of the fence, robins nest down at the other end. the robins had hatched and i figured that it would only be minutes before those racoons went after them.
so i grabbed a bag of rabbit repelent powder, some shit one started throwing it at the coons.
poor chad, he was right there beside me, the whole time saying the mama is going to come and f us both up. ha ha
no wonder that i am divorced, haha
he must gor scairt.
yep mone that's right. first and middle name, voice deepens, the look. mom had a look and no matter what kind of crap or how far away we were, that look always got our attention. ha ha
some days i think that she is still giving crabby 'the look'
ha ha ha
crabby's getting in trouble.h ah hah crap now i am in trouble for laughing.
Mone, first and middle name always spells bad juju.
M-E, I remember once I snickered in the middle of one of Mom's red-faced rants. She said something about not buying the cow when the milk was free or something and for some reason it gave me the giggles something fierce. I tried soooo hard to hold it in but...out it came. Whoa! Major trauma.
Roxie is an Indian Giver Comment maker. tsk tsk. Ok Rox, put it back, missy. Right now.
At 5/16/2006 5:09 PM, concerned citizen
now i know who m-e is. I had the idea she was some sweet innocent thing from her appearance on my blog.
I have a thing for bugs. I save their lives if it is at all possible. It's some weird karma idea I got as a kid. it's not that a bugs life is worth much (or a fishes for that matter) but saving a bugs life will keep you from stubbing your toe or something equivalent.
1>t, I KNOW! I usually don't kill them either unless they happen to be a carpenter ant or...they're in my way and I'm in a hurry. LOL! Mostly, I put them back outside.
Live and let live. That's my motto.
Ok. one other exception ....Wolf spiders. They creep me out.
And red ants. but that's absolutely it.
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Check your shoes before you leave.
Poor old Mom. It sounds like she had lots of fun with the three of you growing up. I got some funky creature in my backyard. It could be a woodchuck/groundhog but I just do not know. Can I send it your way?
I will have to watch the backyard some evening and see if I can get a picture. I have not seen it in ages.
Love the story.