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FOR SALEOk. For free.
Tail eating, foul talking, Spawn of Satan.
This bird has never had a tail or wings. Why? He chews them off. And I swear to you, he does it just to spite me. How could I possibly know this, you ask? Cause he cackles when I see him doing it and express ANY kind of concern. Ask our friends if you don't believe me. They surf here. They know. He's a demon seed!
For a long time he imitated my yahoo pager just to get me to run in here. Then he'd bray like a jackass when I sat down at the computer and swore.
He holds a grudge and doesn't forget. I sprayed his tail with bitter apple once to keep him from chewing on it. Pissed him off big time but he couldn't reach me then. Sniggering, I sprayed away and went on with my afternoon. Two days later I reached in to get a toy he'd somehow detached from the side of his cage and damned if he didn't bite right through my lower lip. Actually it was just below my lip. I HAD A TRIANGLE SHAPED HOLE THERE! When I drank coffee it would dribble out my chin.
My last dog had a deformed nose because every time he'd call her name she go running to his cage and stick her nose in. And every time he'd nail her! Consequently, she had like half a nose by the time she died.
He imitates Bob's voice and calls my name when I'm busy in another room. I come to see what Bob wants and Bob isn't here. The bird thinks it's funny as hell. When we have company and they make the mistake of laughing he immediately imitates their laugh. We had to take one lady outside because every time she'd laugh, he'd imitate her laugh, then she'd laugh again. It got so bad that she had tears running down her face and a got a serious case of the hiccups. We had to walk her outside for a minute just to let things calm down.
When people come he doesn't know, he friggin SWEARS at them!
We can't eat a meal in peace. Anything we have, he wants. And he'll shout....HERE! HERE! HERE! till you share it with him. He's especially fond of pizza and white Castles.
He has chased me out of my own office before and will run down any and all dogs that have ever lived here, biting at their poor feet. Doesn't matter how big they are....they are all terrified of this demon bird.
Now in all honesty, Jam's post below, started my brain ticking. Do you think? Could I possibly? Maybe? Offer the bird as part of the house when I sell it?
I'm coming back from stiffville for my nose bird. Watch your ass.
Barman, GASP! We are not either a good fit. He's meaner than a rabid pit bull. And I'm....well, sweet. Right this second the dog is just innocently tossing her ball and Webster is over there screaming at her to, "STOP IT! CRAP! STOP IT! GET OUTA HERE! BAD DOG!"
Helen, remember Muddy? That's the one. I think I posted a pic of her half-nose on the Friday's World board once. Maybe I still have it. I'll look. a lot of my photos got toasted when my mother board fried.
Milky, he did get the living poop beat out of him, didn't he? LOL! (not what you're thinking folks) But he did fall offa his perch oh.... a few thousand times. Damned stubborn bird couldn't just stay on the floor of the cage where he was safe. Nope, he'd fall like a brick, grumble loudly and climb right back up only to fall again. had a bloody face when we got here. I actually felt terrible about it. Till he got even.
Sal, are you SURE???? Jack talks? hmmmmm.
Check your shoes before you leave.
Oh my, I had no idea it was so bad. Sorry for laughing so hard. Glad I was not drinking my coffee at the time.
I think you better get rid of said bird for a little while when you try to seel your place. No telling what secrets the bird might reveal to the buyers.
You know, I get the feeling that bird fits in very well with you. At least one thing, you can claim the bird taught you to swear. No one will buy it but...