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When you happen upon a couple walking along, wrapped in each others arms, do you have to suppress the urge to slide open the nearest manhole and wait for them to tumble inside. Does the sight of people cooing pet names to one another cause your middle finger to twitch?Could be, you have developed ....."Relationship Brain Boogers."
Relationship Brain Boogers are not uncommon. The most common cause is, dating an asshole...or more likely assholes.
You are too close to your situation and are making unwise love choices.
Not to fret. Dr. Crab is has arrived to find your perfect match.
Just answer the 5 simple questions below and through my newly developed, and highly researched match-maker program extrodinaire I shall track down your true mate
and reveal them to you post-haste!
1. Do you consider yourself to be a high-energy person? Always busy and running around. Or do you prefer to stay near the sofa with a cooler of beer?
2. What's your horoscope sign?
3. What kind of food do you like?
4. How often do you require sex?
5. Open minded? Or set in your ways?
slight service charge of $19.99 included.
Zen, this is true. I love bein' on the "ugh huh, here we go", side of 50. LOL!
Suze, yep. No matter how many times. Here at Crabby's Love Shack we are big time believers in pleasure. Doesn't matter if it comes from sex or Dairy Queen. Or best of all, both, in the same day. OOOOO. Or at the same time. Somebody stop me before I go right over the top.
Tumble, how did you see that? I wrote it in fine print, dammit! Anyway, 19.99 to find your one true soul mate is a bargain.
So far nobody's gonna get their one true soul mate though cuz nobody's answered the questions.
C'mon people. Do you wanna be renting movies on Saturday night for the rest of yer life? GEESH! Try to help folks out of the goodness of your heart. sigh.
At 7/18/2006 4:35 PM, 
Spoony Quine
` Yay! My face is in a picture on Crabby's blog! I feel happy now.
` Ooooo questions! I think I'll answer them:
1. I like exercise! Whee!
2. I don't know.
3. Cheese, dead plants and sometimes living insects.
4. I don't know how to enjoy sex, so I can't say I require it. But I'm working on it!
5. Of course I'm open-minded, I'm a skeptic!
6. I have a tasty man treat who's going to be home in half an hour. He'd like a piece, too!!
At 7/18/2006 5:36 PM, SignGurl
1. Do you consider yourself to be a high-energy person? Always busy and running around. Or do you prefer to stay near the sofa with a cooler of beer? all of the above
2. What's your horoscope sign? Sagittarius
3. What kind of food do you like? any and all
4. How often do you require sex? as often as possible but on my schedule
5. Open minded? Or set in your ways? open minded about being set in my ways
I'm glad I didn't stick my tongue out at you :-P
Ahhhhhhhhhh ah ah ah ah
1. I can do either. The beer however must stay in the fridge, I don't like clutter.
2. Libra
3. Anything, but fish. Love seafood hate fish. oh and spam.
4. Honestly? Four times a week would get it and I am open to quickies as long as I know the good ones are cumming.
5. Open minded, but somewhat opinionated.
Please be Michael Dougals Please be Michael Dougals!!! LMAO
Psst, I have went out with 2 new guys, another one names Scott and an Eric. Tee Hee I'm so very bad.
btw, Scott number 1 pretty much blew it when he got to acting stupid and I almost fell of his bike.
Scott number 2 get's upset when I don't answer my cell at work. I cal him the stalker. ha ha
Eric is a retired police chief from a close nothern county. They only have to do 20 years. I don't really know if an ex-cop is the one for me though. I wonder if he has ran a fifty on me yet?
At 7/19/2006 1:14 AM, Evil Minx
1. Sofa? Beer? I'm there.
2. Aquarius
3. All the stuff that's bad for me.
4. As often as possible.
5. Open minded. Very. Hubba!
I'm presuming you have a one-time freebie available for me, Crabbles, because you love me so much, and because Roxi has a fish named after me (if the poor thing's still alive). That's got to be a good enough reason, no?
1. Do you consider yourself to be a high-energy person? Always busy and running around. Or do you prefer to stay near the sofa with a cooler of beer? Bring on the sofa but after the doctor visit tomorrow I am sure I will be working on that.
2. What's your horoscope sign? Cancer
3. What kind of food do you like?I never met a food I don't like, well almost never.
4. How often do you require sex? A lot more often then I am getting it that is for sure. At least weekly would be nice, more often if possible.
5. Open minded? Or set in your ways?I try to be open minded
Do you take Paypal?
At 7/22/2006 10:53 PM, Cherrie
Do you take checks for the $19.99?
1. I am high-energy when it comes to running around for drinks. Beer is OK, wine is better.
2. Pisces.
3. Excellent food (cuisine doesn't matter).
4. So frequently few men can keep up.
5. Very open minded.
I already have a man, thank you, but a female menage a trois member position may be available!
Check your shoes before you leave.
Part of the wisdom of age is when you look at a happy couple cooing and displaying affection in public, you think to yourself: "Ah...Future toilet seat/shaving hairs on the sink 'power struggle.' Should happen in about four more months...Enjoy this phase while it lasts, you two!"