Crabby's Cowpie Field

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

The Kidney Foundation is coming today to pick up my donation bags and Bob's Balls are gonna be in there. I can't take it any more. They're drivin me nuts, I tell ya!

First it was early in the morning, before the sun was up even ..... thump thump thump THUMP thump thump THUMP THUMP THUMP!

I complained about that and damned if he didn't switch to bedtime. thumpity thumpity thumpity! How's a girl supposed to sleep around here? I warned him. I told him straight up, "Dude, your balls are gonna have an accident."

They're constantly rolling out onto the floor too. You'd think he'd get tired of chasing them around, do the right thing and pitch 'em. But nooooo.

The other day I found the drier door standing open, one of Bob's balls on the floor with two of his big man sneakers. Apparently he'd decided to toss two pairs of big footed cloppers in with both his balls. The poor drier obviously had all the abuse she could take and prompty spit them back out. If she had a voice no doubt she'd have called Social Services on him for cruel and unusual Drier abuse.

Enough! I'm slipping them into the bags. Bob will finally once and for all be balless and I can get some sleep! And the best part ..... he'll never know what happened to them, or where to find them.

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

posted by Crabby at 8:43 AM |

19 Comments:

At 7/12/2006 9:02 AM, barman

I got nothin'.

At 7/12/2006 11:25 AM, Crabby

Barman, that's ok. I think I know what you wanted to say but couldn't put into words. You feel bad for me. For how bad I suffered at the hand of Bob's balls.

It's ok. They're gone now. And we're never gonna see them again. WOOT!

Sal, they can be big as Arkansas, long as they're nice and quiet.

Denny! You're takin' Bob's side? noooo! He's been torturing me for over a month with those knarly little pounders. PAH! He's better off without them. He'll thank me eventually.

wait. No he won't. Cuz I'm not tellin him I had anything to do with their disappearance. I'm gonna let him think they rolled somewhere and he just can't find them.

snicker snicker snicker.

Tina, I donate to several charities. Cause I'm gettin rid of all Bob's extra junk. A girl needs her space.

At 7/12/2006 2:02 PM, Roxi

I was thinking of taking dans balls...

I think I will just utilize them..

At 7/12/2006 3:38 PM, Crabby

Sal, you're a good man!

Tina, ahhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha! Never even occured to me that you might be implying anything. I'm not that deep of a thinker. I'm kind of the big yellow dog of human kind.

Rox, if Dan comes home with a set of blue balls with bumps all over them....take them for a ride and toss em out the window. Trust me. I know stuff.

btw....you guys are NOT gonna believe this. Earlier, I thought the KF had come and gone, right? Cuz they always come before afternoon. Well guess what. They didn't. Those damnable balls are still here! I'm gonna have to retrieve them from the bag and blow them up or something.

At 7/12/2006 3:59 PM, Zen Wizard

Nerf golf balls?

I thought about getting some of those.

I mostly practice my shots in the living room with ping pong balls.

Haven't gotten evicted just yet...

At 7/12/2006 5:55 PM, Anonymous

poor bob

At 7/12/2006 7:37 PM, Manny

Now Carbby, are you really the one to talk about someone elses sneakers? LOL

I just want to quit my job right now!

I pulled out my retirement and deffered comp statements this past weekend. I could pay off my house and car, float for a couple of years and then just sit in the dark. i don't like the dark.

Then i had a great idea!!!! I could wai until Squirrel left for work and move in with her. Shit man, she always has food. LMAO

At 7/12/2006 7:37 PM, Manny

Can I have jake's old room? i could pay a little rent and i clean and cook. LMAO again.

At 7/12/2006 8:18 PM, Manny

LMAO more and more.

It just doesn't get any better than this.

At 7/12/2006 8:22 PM, Manny

I WOKE UP THAT WAY!!!!

At 7/12/2006 8:42 PM, barman

Manny, Manny ... I think you had to much shugar. Hey I have a spare room too but it would be too far from family.

At 7/12/2006 8:43 PM, barman

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 7/12/2006 8:54 PM, barman

Manny, Manny ... I think you had to much shugar. Hey I have a spare room too but it would be too far from family.

At 7/13/2006 3:58 AM, Manny

Barman-Pssst you only have to hit the publish button once honey.
Woke up LMAO

At 7/13/2006 4:31 AM, barman

The delete is me to. Blogger was acting up when I first posted. The third time I would guess was me being stupid. Sometimes I think I have ADD.

At 7/13/2006 5:10 AM, Suze

Can I play with them before you give them away? :)

At 7/13/2006 8:04 PM, Spoony Quine

` Well, they're blue anyway, but why are they bumpy? Do they have ball-rot?

At 7/13/2006 10:37 PM, jamwall

that's like the movie "the red balloon"....except the object is not red...they're blue...and its a pair of bob's balls.

that's the only difference...yeah....

At 7/16/2006 10:17 AM, henri Banks

o O Poor bob no more balls to play !!