about
All of sudden there he was, seated beneath a large sign that read, "Ostrich Burgers". My friend Fred will eat anything that's different even when I beg him not to. I had hoped to distract Fred but alas, by the time I turned around he was running to the odd looking little man with the smelly grill.
When I caught up the Ostrich man had begun a very animated converstion with Fred and Bob. (ps. this part is a true story. So help me. Ethel can back me up. She was there.)
"Yeah, we charge a mite mo but, what YOU don't know is. The Ostrich ain't no cow, man! You try and kill one o'these sumbitches and they will fight like hell. Sheeeit. It takes 3 or 4 men to wack the head off'in one of 'em. And even then .... the bastard will git back up n' run. Thar's blood gets all over ever'where. Ya cain't keep decent boots. Hell! These here are m'good ones and ya kin see they got blood spatter shit all over em.
If that ain't worse enough, then ya gotta deal the ass-wipe health inspector! And he's all, "This place ain't clean enough to use fer a toilet and shit." Always holdin his damned clip board and...well... listen to me go on. What'll it be?"
Fred didn't order ....... that night. But..... I heard he went back the next day and got one of those Ostich burgers.
3 years later.
Me, Milky, Tumble, and Barman launch the first ever. "Rage Against the Ostrich Man" protest.
It was a beautiful thing. The support we got from on-lookers was just amazing. I can't even tell you how many times they patted Milky and Tumble real friendly like, on their sit-upons.
I'm not allowed to take my clothes off in public anymore after what happened the last time so I had to wear the Ostrich suit.
Meanwhile, as we protested, Suze, Signgurl, Roxie, Manny, and Seequin snuck up and released the Ostrich prisoners who were soon to be burgers in Ostrich Man's evil burger world.
Prash, RainyPete, and Gareth did a lovely job of herding the birds off in the right direction.
Mone, Zen Wizard, Buddah girl, Polyman 2, and Sal, tore thee crap outa the Ostrich man's little burger selling stand.
Denny, Reg, and wmy, divided the money in the register and took off for the taco stand. We'll deal with them later.
Jam ate the burgers off of the grill. DAMN HIM!
Overall things were going really well. At least I thought so. Until....and nobody knows why....but ......barman went berzerk?
Last I saw him, he was standing between two cruisers while 4 police officers fought over who had to haul his nakie body half way across town in the back of their car. Far as I know, he's still there.
Gareth, I'm wounded. LMAO!
Zen, I thought we agreed you'd give up on Pamela Anderson. You're still sending her mails, huh? tsk tsk.
Barman, I'm sooo workin on it dude. The police people holding you are rude! They actually walked me back out when I tried to pay your bail. The nerve!
pssst. people! Apparently it's going to cost more than 68 cents to get Barman back out. Anybody have any change?
Milky, I told you he'd eat anything. His curiosity about untried edibles is formidable!
oh please, like you've never had tomato fudge!
Manny, ahhhhhhhhhhh.
Polyman, shout it out, baby! Shout it out!
Prash, Ohio is extremely proud of her tomatoes and her home grown corn. Consequently we have a tomato festival where tomatoes are prepared in every possible fashion. Happily there is also all manner of fair food and lots of rides.
Mone, sadly, this is what happens when we leave them alone too long. sigh.
Denny, ah, c'mon. Barman has a cute butt.
At 7/11/2006 9:06 AM, 
Spoony Quine
Meanwhile, as we protested, Suze, Signgurl, Roxie, Manny, and Seequin snuck up and released the Ostrich prisoners who were soon to be burgers in Ostrich Man's evil burger world.
` I only wish I'd read this yesterday when I was poking around here.... I don't remember this ostrich thing at all! ...Must have been high on cough syrup.
` I am a vegetarian, though.... makes sense that I would free ostriches while intoxicated. (I wasn't naked, was I?)
` And damn you, Prash, now you have me thinking about b*** jobs!! Mmmmm...
` GRAAAH!
Unable to get the zipper on the Ostrich costume unstuck, Crabby plodded back to the Cowpie bus like an obese penguin.
She arrived hopeful that her fellow bloggers could help her first get outa the Ostrich suit and second, gather enough funds together to free Barman who was now being aggressively woo'd by a wino with bad teeth.
"What the.....? OH NO!"
Her fellow bloggers, drunk on jello shots, had captured the Ostrich Man and tied him to the front of the bus like hood ornament from Hicksville.
"What have you guys done?" she exclaimed. "Move him onto the top! I can't see to drive this thing with his fat ass front and center. Do we have any jello shots left?" she asked, trying in vain to scratch an itch that had begun on her right butt cheek. "Damn this thing is itchy!"
At 7/11/2006 12:37 PM, Zen Wizard
(Pamela, if you are reading this, I know that that Restraining Order was just your way of saying you need more attention from me...
Flying to London to see you naked in a department store window was a little extreme; I see that now.
But think of the ostriches! Their cuteness outweighs their creepiness, in the right light...
Call me!
ZW)
Crabby grabs for Roxi, misses by a country mile ..... falls over Zen Wizard who is on the floor writing what smells like a love letter judging from the hellish puffs of man cologne wafting offa the paper....rolls 2 feet across the bus floor ..... and slams POW ...into Suze who yelps in obvious pain.
"well, damn."
At 7/11/2006 1:28 PM, GAB
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Check your shoes before you leave.
HAHAHA LOLOL!!!! You are not right :p