about
As Crabby's long lost twin (who currently has no memory of her name and will be needing one)What was I talking about?
Oh...I remember.
Yesterday Crabby was pummeled to death by a fresh pineapple on a remote tropical island.
It happened when Crab noticed something familiar about the local island playboy. Something that made her.....suspicious.
For reasons no one will ever understand she ran over and flipped up the man's skirt...er...man-wrap thing. And found..... HE HAD NO PENIS! Indeed, he was a fraud.
Turns out the playboy was a woman named Olga.
Apparently Crab did a little stint in prison with Olga and some how recognized her through the man-hunk disguise.
It was not so much being outed that set Olga off as it was Crab's cackling laughter. Witnesses say she brayed like a jackass. Could be true. She was a little on the loud side.
I found this pic in her personal belongings. Looks like she and Olga may have had some freaky kind of relationship in the slammer.
But then, she never was quite right, if you know what I mean. Crabby tended to walk on shady side of normal.
I know you'll all miss her.
No. Really I don't know that at all.
But if you do feel badly take comfort in knowing that (possibly...maybe.....not at all sure) she now rests comfortable with all those other fish products in heaven.
Unless she went the other way. In which case, she is roasting her nuts off with other naughty crustasians. (is that spelled right? It looks wrong. Ah well, no matter.)
PS. I'm going thru Crabs things. Does anyone out there want her nasal irrigation thing? How 'bout her collection of paint samples? That statue of a drunk, de-pantsed Mexican on a donkey?
Let me tell you, there was a lot more to Crab, than met the eye. She waxed ME in that sex poll a while back. ME! I just just got every chick in a tri state area telling Pee Stories on the web and she beat ME! So with poor sweet Crab, her many past indescresions, would all be forgiven, if she would only come back to us. I miss her already.
I'm just hopin that she decided to wait for the fresh TimBits, is why she's not here.
I'll check back.....G
G, she probably lied just on that thing just to show you up. That's how she was. In a good way, of course.
Seequin, she craved attention. You never could have given her enough. don't feel bad.
PS. I might...maybe could take over her blog once I finish her stairs. Assuming I can remember my name by then.
You know, this story line is beginning to sound an awful lot Shakespeare's 12th Night.
With all the drama, long lost twins, amnesia. Even Sequins come out of retirement, to make a rare public appearance.
I think as a last resort, if "The Twin" can't remember shit, we need a seance. Yeah, a seance! Get someone to conger her butt up from the dead.
I Want Crabby!
G, how many people does it take to do a seance? That sounds like fun! Maybe when my amnesia clears we'll find out I'm a madamn...not like a pimp....the ball gazing kind.
Sign, You don't wanna see her. She has a pineapple sticking outa her nose and stuff. It's just awful.
Nick, my fear is neither place, heaven nor hell, will agree to take responsibility for her. Then where will she be?
Miss, that was sweet. I'm sure she misses you where ever she is. Unless of course, she's haunting your house.
Milky, what ever do you mean strange person, who I never met before.
Gab, she wasn't really that young. She just looked really hot for her age. I think it was the bodacious chesticles.
Mr. Hinkleshire just called. He wants me to come to a place called Willowbrooke. Some kind of old people's home. They believe Crabby is haunting them.
Why would she choose an old folks home? Chippendales dressing room seems more her style.
Unless..........can anyone here tell me, did Crabby get .....well.....kinky there at the end?
Crabby is not dead! It's just like on All my Children or some other dumb soap. They will find her alive. Turns out, she fell off a cliff and a pack of wolves found her and nursed her back to health. She will come back in a few week's, married to a wolf, with a litter of pup's, or wolve's, or whatever baby wolves are called.
My sentences are all running together again. HELP!
Sign, I've seen what's in that box and Crabby should be ashamed of herself! Or very, VERY, happy. I'm not sure which. She's obviously been visiting Suze's place.
Deb, I washed Crabby's cape for you but it still has some food stains on it I can't get out. Is that alright?
Jodes, do you mean Crabby? Dead Crabby? Or Crabby's twin? Wow, that kinda makes your head hurt to think about, huh? Anyhow, if it's Crabby...oh yeah, real sicko.
Tumble, I tossed out her used toothpicks but I still have her lucky unders. I know they were lucky because she had a score card sewn into the back of them. Want those?
G, it figures she'd be thumped to death by a transvestite with a fresh fruit. I personally would have bet she'd get some object stuck up her nose and suffocate but...this works too.
Barman, double trouble sounds familiar. If only I could remember for sure what my name is.
Bina, I'll post a pic of that de-pantsed Mexican for you in the next post.
Barman, indeed she was. ALL woman. Bob often said so. Ok, I don't know if he did or not since I've been gone missing and only just now turned up but..I bet he did.
Check your shoes before you leave.
Good Heavens! I wonder if she might be the one haunting us at Willowbrooke. The timing is uncanny.
Crabcakes twin, check your driver's license dear. You should be able to locate your name there.