It can (and has) been said that my family has some...... er.....peculiarities. Truth be told, no known "normies" have fallen from our family tree. Several years ago, just before they invented the wheel, Bob and I were hanging out on campus and found this amazing statue of a ram. It was great! Even had real Ram's wool fur. The eyes were so life-like, you almost expected the little guy to follow you around the store. We thought it was pretty cool so we brushed the dust off our $30 ( a ton of money for us back then) and bought it for the Squirrel for her birthday. (this was somewhere around the time Rosemary's baby and the Omen and that stuff was out.)

If you've ever seen someone smile while swallowing a healthy chunk of road kill, you have a pretty good idea of the expression on her face when she opened our treasured gift. Grimacing, she swore she loved it. (I had my doubts)

A few weeks later we went to visit her at her new apartment. The Ram sat on her bookshelves with a cross the size of a Volkswagon tied around it's neck. Bob looked at me. I looked at Bob.

"Why is there a cross around that Ram's neck?" I asked.

"You'll make fun of me if I tell you."

"No doubt. Still. Why is there a cross around his neck?"

"Because it's evil," she blurted. "and it watches me."

"Have you been smoking wacky weed ?"

The conversation went back and forth with Bob trying good sound reason on her till finally she agreed laughing that it was just a figurine.

A few years later after my Mother died, I was going through her things. Squirrel had told me she'd left the Ram at my Mom's house but...there was no Ram there. So I asked her where it was. It took a few minutes for her to answer but finally she said..... "I buried it."

"Say what?"

"I buried it."

"That thing cost me 30 bucks and you buried it? Why didn't you give it back to me?"

"Because it was evil." She never would tell me where she buried it.

Now you guys probably think this is over but....noooo. The other night, Bob and I came up with a plan. We're gonna find a ram just like that one, cover it in mud and leave it on her doorstep.
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA! Bury my 30 bucks! PAH!

And Manny don't you say a word to her or I won't let you be there to watch when we do it.

If you feel the Cowpie Field is deserving of your vote please do so With just a few days left we find ourselves at a big disadvantage due to a recurring glitch at the voting site.

Current scores are 293 - 225 - 178 with the field in 3rd place. A huge thank you to all of you who voted to get us that far. If you'd like to help us get further (because I am not giving up until this thing is done.) VOTE HERE.

SOMEBODY. ANYBODY. WILL YOU GET OVER HERE AND VOTE FOR CRAP'S SAKE? THESE GUYS ARE KILLIN' ME. where is your loyalty people? haven't I given you all the best years of my life? Yes, I have. 54 and 55. Both prime years. Ask anyone. What am I gonna tell my mother who's lying on her death bed right now when I can't bring home a win? HUH?

Labels: figurine, gifts, Rams, scary movies