Monday, November 26, 2007
As 3 of us sat around the Thanksgiving table, bloated, coffee cups full, sale ads spread hither and yon, Jake said to Squirrel, "The internet is a wealth of information and these two," he says, looking first at Manny, then myself......."choose to use it for JackAssery."

Manny and I looked at each other, eyes widening, then simultaneously burst into uncontrollable guffaws of joy as we high-fived each other.

Me: "We're JackAsserfists. How cool is THAT dude?"
Manny: "Sweeeeet!"

Jake: "You're proud of that?"
Squirrel "You can't get throught to them, Jake. They've always been like this."

Me: "JACKASSERY RULES!"
Manny: "We're the best JackAsserfists ever!"

Me: "Let's start a JackAssery Association!"
Manny: "Yeah, and only Jackasserfists can get in."

And so it is, that I hereby, towit and towith, announce the beginning of the very first and only JackAssery Blogger Association.

To get an idea if you qualify for the first and only JackAsserfists association....watch the badly made film below. If you relate to any part of this movie, you "may" be a future member of the "JackAssery Blogger Association". If you can not relate, well......then you can't come in cuz.....there's a "no smart people allowed" rule and we can't break it even if we like you cuz frankly....smart or sophisticated folks are kind of a downer. But...not to fret...your dog may still be a potential member.

addendum: The song on this video is all Jake. If you guys would like to go sample his music or download, it's free. He has some Rolling Stones and Dylan covers over there too. Lot of stuff. Here's the link so you can go hear my kid. Course he gets all that talent from me. Let me know what you think. And maybe give him a comment or whatever.

JAKE'S MUSIC (SAMPLES AND FREE DOWNLOADS)


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posted by Crabby at 5:37 PM |


32 Comments:


At 11/27/2007 10:08 AM, Blogger deb

Oh man, can I be a charter member?

 

At 11/27/2007 10:28 AM, Blogger MilkMaid

HAHAHAHAHA are we allowed to use that bathroom AHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAa..good one Crab.

I'm so glad to see you've lost my green face.

 

At 11/27/2007 10:33 AM, Blogger MilkMaid

And...who the hell does Jake think he's fooling, he taught us half the crap we know on here.

 

At 11/27/2007 10:35 AM, Blogger lime

do i count since i taught you the word ferikked?

 

At 11/27/2007 10:40 AM, Blogger Crabby

Deb, wanna be an officer? JackAssery Law enforcement.
naw...that won't work. You'd never be able to keep up.
Can't be treasurer cuz...we got no real money. Just monopoly stuff.
I'll ponder it.

Milky, no I didn't. I've still got your green face. LOL!
(sigh) I don't know what's happned to Jake. He got all mature and stuff. But he did do that song. And the Moose was his idea.
OMG! I bet he's a JackAsserfist in ....oh...whatdoya call it when the FBI changes somebody's identity and junk? Anyhow...I BET he's in hiding from a mob of angry women or something.

 

At 11/27/2007 10:41 AM, Blogger Crabby

Lime, yes...you qualify. Most definitely. Anybody that knows that word and wirgin....annnnd makes the best fish face I ever saw (which I would have used in the movie if I coulda found it fast enough)...belongs in our private association.

 

At 11/27/2007 12:40 PM, Blogger MilkMaid

OMG, I just caught that this is Jake playing and singing! How cool is that?

 

At 11/27/2007 1:15 PM, Blogger Crabby

It's really cool. His stuff rocks out now. He has a Bob Dylan cover over there too that's excellent.

I have the link to his music. You can sample and download it free. Think I should post the link?

 

At 11/27/2007 3:06 PM, Blogger jillie

WOW..FINALLY a club that I can relate too!

Where do I sign up...

I can be the Jackassery Nurse. Now that would be an outfit work the imagination...hmmmmm!

 

At 11/27/2007 3:07 PM, Blogger jillie

I mean an outfit FOR the imagination....what a jackass!

 

At 11/27/2007 3:07 PM, Blogger wallycrawler

There ya are! Where'va you been?

 

At 11/27/2007 3:11 PM, Blogger Crabby

Jillie, HOT DAMN! What a cracker jack idea! There's nothing us JackAsserfists need more than a qualified medical person. Actually, even a vet would work for some of us. You are in!

Wally! DUDE! How are ya? Would you believe I have been working and....sit down......I'm having my mid-life crisis. It's true. They do exist. I'm feeling the sudden need to get into all kinds of things real quick before I croak.

 

At 11/27/2007 3:30 PM, Blogger Vi vi vi vooom!!!!!!!!

I can lick my own nose, does that count?

 

At 11/27/2007 3:41 PM, Blogger Crabby

Vi, the fact that you've tried it, qualifies you. LOL!
btw....mine won't reach. Give me time. My nose is drooping more every year. Soon, it'll be in my mouth anyhow.

 

At 11/27/2007 4:42 PM, Blogger Manny

I can't believe you made this video.

Ahhhh ah ah ah a


I am President you can be my vice president.

 

At 11/27/2007 5:12 PM, Blogger Crabby

Vice president, my droopy, weeble-like butt. I'm president too. Somebody else has to be vice president. I hate vice president positions. You never get to talk or anything. I have lots to say.

 

At 11/27/2007 5:13 PM, Blogger Crabby

PS. ya think, The Squirrel will be ticked when she finds out I posted her on You Tube? We could not tell her. course...that's dishonest...but...is it really dishonest if nobody says anything? Kind of like if a tree falls in the woods and nobody's there to hear it?

 

At 11/27/2007 5:44 PM, Blogger Manny

Nuh uh. when you're vice president, you get to shoot people and stuff. How cool is that?

I'm telling Squirrel. She won't mind cause I'll tell her not too. She love's our jackassedness.

 

At 11/27/2007 6:10 PM, Blogger tsduff

I know how to juggle a knife... oops - well, sloppy seconds then. I can still sign up with 3 fingers...

 

At 11/27/2007 6:37 PM, Blogger Top cat

I can do this..I really can.
I've tried the fart and lighter thing.

I'm in Dude..I'm in!!
JackAsserist....
JackAsserist....

what are the rest of the words?

Great job on the vocals and geetar there son.:)
tc

 

At 11/27/2007 7:24 PM, Blogger zen wizard

He sounds like John Cougar Mellencamp.

 

At 11/27/2007 8:14 PM, Blogger G-Man

Great Vid!!!
OK, first of all, Manny promised a 'nip slip'...
She lied!
Secondly,There are a few tricks to lighting a fart.
1)Never light a fart.Bare Assed!
2)Never wear anything Nylon OR Polyester..EVER!
3)Make sure that you have eaten something very noxious like eggs or onions.
4)Popcorn farts always blow out the flame!!
...If you follow these simple rules, you will always be assured of a clean blue flame, that creeps up the small of your back. Contrary to popular belief, they Never shoot out from your ass!!
Thank You....G

 

At 11/27/2007 8:18 PM, Blogger SignGurl

Manny! I love that you shared your secret with us. You rock!!

Crabby, you know I could be the JackAsserFist sign maker. You won't even be mad when I spell things wrong and stuff. You will expect that, hehe.

Jake's music is awesome!

 

At 11/27/2007 11:29 PM, Blogger jillie

You know this is bringing out the best in ALL of us! I tried to lick my elbow once...aaaahh haa!

 

At 11/28/2007 4:14 AM, Blogger Manny

I did not promise any such thing G Man. You're grounded.

 

At 11/28/2007 9:16 AM, Blogger Crabby

Manny, can I shoot 'em with my paint ball gun? I'd like that.

TS, you flubbed the knife juggling ah-GAIN? Somebody call nurse Jillie. Although...I'm kind of liking the nickname...3 finger T.

TC, you did??? How'd ya do? K, you're in. I'll be giving you, your new jackassery name soon.

Zen, ya think? I gotta go listen to Mellencamp and compare. Somebody else said Cat Stevens.

G man....daaaHUMMM. You are so in! I must find your new JackAssery name.

Sign, we NEED you. Cuz..how else will we know how to get offa the blog and back into the real world? But Exit is kind of a big word for some of us. Maybe just words we can relate to like an arrow with the word....free eats...or in G man's case....free nips?

Jillie, I've tried that so many times. I just can't master it. But I can get my big toe in my mouth.

Manny, you can't ground a JackAsserfist! They'd never get outa the house.

 

At 11/28/2007 9:29 AM, Blogger Suze

I think I qualify but I don't have any strange animals hiding in the toilet. :)

 

At 11/29/2007 2:12 PM, Blogger Patrick

Okay, I dig the video, cause, like, its so awsommer than any I might (not) have did. So, I wanna a JackAsserfist. Waddya hafta do?

Sign me up, Miss Crabby!
I will give no more beer to my grandkids. I will give no more beer to my grandkids. I will give no more beer to my grandkids. I will give no more beer to my grandkids. I will give no more beer to my grandkids. I will give no more beer to my grandkids. I will give no more beer to my grandkids.

 

At 11/29/2007 6:44 PM, Blogger Top cat

NOW g-man tells me the tricks..
one burnt ass with melted polyester unders later.):
tc

 

At 11/29/2007 8:25 PM, Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick

Hmmmm. I think that I suspected long ago that there was a jackass in the cowpie field.

 

At 11/30/2007 1:21 PM, Blogger barman

You have met me, do I fit in? Wait, let me add something in my defense before you make a decision.

When we weer kids we used to do our own version of the olympics when it was time for the summer olympics. WAIT FOR IT. That would be running, ping pong, pool, swimming, etc. and also ridding bicycles. WAIT FOR IT.

Now the bicycle ridding, we had to have someone follow along the bike race to make sure it was fair. Am I right or am I right? Well I was doing that very thing riding my bike right next to the bicycles that were in the race. WAIT FOR IT. Well when we got part way through the race I was I was concenrtating on the participants and not where I was going and ... I ran smack dab into the back of a parked car with my bycicle. My bike stopped, through me over the handle bars, and I landed on the truck of the car face first chiping on of my front teeth. *ba dum, bum*

Well, do I qualify? I have no speakers at work for the next week so I will have to listen to this when I get home.

 

At 11/30/2007 1:31 PM, Blogger barman

Just to prove it is not a one time deal...

I once walked to high school (you know, 5 miles up hill both ways, snow 3 foot deep, dark, yada, yada) and when I got to school I about killed myself. I wore shoes with heels that were at least 2 or 3 inches tall and did not were any form or boots over them. They were wet and the floor had just freshly been waxed. I pretty much did the splits (not pretty), dropped everything and pulled a groin muscle big time. I walked (bareley) funny for a week.

Once there were a bunch of us writing in wet cement. Everyone saw the cops comming but me. They split and let me take the heat from the cops as they took me home to my parents.

I once drank almost 2 whole bottles of champaign by myself one night, need I say more.

I once was in the middle of no where with very little idea where I was and I decided to walk home. I was at least 5 miles from where I needed to be and it was below zero out. Did I mention drinking was involved and no it was not the above incident.

I once fractured my wrist in a slam bang (dodge ball) game at school.

Need I go on?