My friend Ethel just called. They've been in Hawaii for their long awaited anniversary vacation. The conversation went like this. (in my defense it was only 7:00 when she called and I hadn't had coffee)

Ethel: Well, if you had come with us like you were supposed to you could have experienced the earthquake too.

Me: You had an earthquake?

Ethel: YES! It's all over the news and in the papers. Didn't you see it?

Me: Ummm.

Ethel: It was a 6.6! Shook me right out of bed. I looked out the window expecting to see a big storm but there was no rain or anything. I woke up Fred and he just rolled over and said, it's probably an earthquake. The whole room was shaking!

Me: The room was shaking and Fred didn't get up? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha! That's my buddy!

Ethel: You should have been here.

Me: Naw, if Fred and I had been there together, somehow they woulda blamed us. We get blamed for everything.

(in the background Ethel tells Fred what I have just told her)

Fred: She's right.

Yanno, I wondered why I hadn't heard from them. They call me every day and check in. Had NOT occured to me that somehow Fred had caused an earthquake all by himself.

I'm beginning to think, Tivo wasn't a good thing for Bob and me. We seem to be out of the loop. I'm thinking the earth could possibly fall into oblivion and we'd still be sitting on our sofas, watching our recordings of Monk and Desperate Housewives, eating snacks and laughing our butts off.

Is this a bad thing? I just don't know.

Oh btw. We do take the paper. We don't read it. I use it for the birds cage. Maybe.....I should start looking at it first?

So what's going on out there? Is Bush still president? Did Rosie O'donnel go straight? Is it still politically incorrect to say, "midget"? Am I still vertically challenged? Or am I short again?