Reliable sources (Rainy Pete) informed this reporter yesterday that, "World Menopause Day", was underway. Being a man, naturally, Rainy Pete could not have known that menopause, like PMS, is never just a one day thing.

Digging deep I found shocking evidence to support the Rain Man's claim that indeed, menopausal women are running rampant all over the world. (and possibly in outer space)

As you can see by the photo here, even Osama Bin Laden's brother, Osumma Big Lugie has not gone unscathed. Word has it, Iraqi women have not only removed their veils but are in the process of strangling their men-folk with them. (not a bad thing from this reporters view point)









Here in the states, a Wal-mart in Texas was the target of a particularly angry mob of women who became enraged when the store ran out of chocolate-peanut butter whoopie pies.














Men everywhere, in fear for their lives, are fleeing from their homes. The man pictured here, was unable to get his Land Rover in gear before his wife caught up to him.






"How ya like me now, bitch?" The woman was heard to say just before sawing through the tree that ....well....the photo speaks for itself.












In an attempt to restore order, President Bush called on the National Guard who responded promptly with, "Screw that!"













The man in this photo suffered fatal injuries when he switched off the wife's soap opera to watch a baseball game.












This man broke down in tears after his new bride ate his sbarro's pizza slice then kicked him roughly in the shin. "There's no safe place to fall," he sobbed.

Clearly something must be done.
This reporter's advice to men around the globe, be afraid. Be very, very, afraid.