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I have a dried apricot stuck up my nose. I'm not sure how it happened. I've had corn up there before and that came back out. But the apricot has been up there all night and it's making me crazy.
Bob's no help at all. Our conversation last night:
Me: dares uh abricod duck up by nob. Id wond cub back oud.
Bob: you got the corn out before. Do what you did then.
Me: I did. It dill won't cub out. Id's duck in dere and by nobe keebs rudding dow. I'ds nob bery comborble.
Bob: Well, I'll take you to a children's doctor tomorrow if you want. They pull things out of noses all the time.
So there I stood last night with my eyes and nose running, unable to speak a clear sentence and all Bob can do is laugh. I even said to him...."whud ib id cubs loose whed I'm sleebing and I choke to deadth or subting?
Bob: If it comes loose you'll just swallow it. Go to sleep.
UGGGGH! I'm miserable. Do you have any idea what it feels like to have a dried apricot up your nose? So any suggestions how I get this back out again?
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I can just imagine you sitting for quite a while trying to figure out how you would spell words if your nose was blocked with something :P
Next time you try something like this I would recommend that you wrap the apricot in a hankerchief and leave some of it hanging out of your nose so it's easier to yank out afterwards. Yes I do have some experience in this area :)
g, get yer mind outa the gutter and into foreign object removal mode. I think this thing is starting to melt in there cause I can taste apricot. ICK!
Gareth, very funny. Laugh it up. If I die from apricot brain poisoning, you'll feel bad though.
Richard, you are weird, dude.
Milky, I didn't snort the damnable thing. I'm a moving eater. I can't sit still or stop talking when I eat so...occasionally stuff goes up my nose somehow. I had a bean sprout up there once when we were at the Chinese restauant. The Chinese guys are big fat jokers btw. You think they're all polite and crap but get a bean sprout stuck up your nose and see how polite and quiet they are then.
Mone, I can't believe I'm gonna say this but, that actually sounds kind of tasty. Ugh! I can't eat anything now. Mt nose is gonna run right offa my face if this thing doesn't come out soon.
The black pepper was nasty. Ever snorted that stuff yourself? I 'bout burned the eyeballs clean outa my head.
My perfume made me sneeze and a tiny bit of the apricot broke loose and came out but the whole of it is bouncing back and forth in there like a fruity tennis ball.
Maybe I could make a nose digger outa that GOAT JERKY you made. Just spear the damnable fruit and be done with it.
This is maddening! I briefly considered letting Doc take it out but...damn...he'd never let me forget this one. He's still giving me a hard time over the colonoscopy thing.
Maybe if you were to get a vaccum cleaner or a shop vac and stick it by your nose and ...
Oh and be sure you are near the switch to turn it off just in case.
Wow this must be a fairly common thing. I found this on the Internet:
If the object is visible, you may attempt to remove it.
You can use tweezers.
It is best to sterilize the tweezers, to avoid infection.
Sterilize by soaking in alcohol for a few minutes before use.
Warning: Do not use a Q-Tip® or other implement to reach far back in the nose. Doing so runs the risk of pushing an object in deeper.
Alternatively, the individual can be instructed to blow it out.
Holding the other nostril closed will help direct pressure through the nostril with the object lodged in it.
Alert: Do not blow too hard.
Never suck in. Sucking in could cause the foreign body to become embedded further inside.
Even if the object is freed, the person could choke on it.
If nothing comes out, but there is definitely something up there, go to the emergency room.
On the way to the hospital, breath through the mouth.
So what does an apricot tree look like? I say we leave it in and see what comes of it!
Come on over, I'll do what mom did when I got the funnybone from the game "Operation" stuck up my nose.
I'll bend you backwards, no further...and use the tweezer's.
How in the hell did you get a dried apricot up your nose? Them's for eatin not snortin.
Jeez! I can't go to work for a day without you getting yourself in a jam!
Post pictures!
Manny, yeah, that's right...yuk it up. I'm about to beat your high score.....with an apricot up my nose...top that one!
barman, don't encourage her.
Manny, how'm I gonna take a pic of something I can't see? Or do you just miss my face? It shifted in there. Actually it moves around so much, it's almost like it's alive or something.
Crabster dear, I have some trail mix over here, do you want some?
Tee hee
I know, just do what I do when at the vending machine and my chip's don't fall down. I just get something else that's heavier and it knock's the bag down and I have two snackies.
Just try snorting something heavier...just keep on snortin until everything come's lose.
At work one day, I accidentally stabbed myself with my letter opener. I really did, punctured right through my thumb.
Jill(remember the lady who was murdered?) She was sitting right there and saw the whole thing. I had to get a tentnice (sp) shot and when I got back to work, my letter opener was gone. It fact, all my shiny sharp object's were gone!
True story!!!!
I also got in trouble because I simply had my insrance company cover the cost instead of filing a workmans comp claim.
Not real trouble, I just had to listen to her for a few minutes. I wasn't really listening though, I was thinking of who's letter opener I could snag.
Ahhhh ah ah ah ah a
I could go on and on.
Well....I'm not sure about the apricot. It seems to have disappeared during the night. Weird thing is, I woke up at 5 with a nose bleed. When I went back to sleep I dream I was on that ship with Sigorney Weaver...and I had an Alien in my nose. They took me in the operating room and they were getting ready to remove it and it busted out of my nose and attacked Sign girl. (sorry Sign. I have no control over my sleeping brain. or I would have directed the alien apricot toward somebody I don't like much.)
Anyhow, I don't know if it's still in there, or if it escaped during the night.
This is sooooo weird.
PS. Manny, you don't have to get up at 4 to see the sun rise. I saw it coming up just before 7.
Suze, I'm not sure. When the corn got stuck up there I was laughing and accidentally snorted it up. But this time I was just sitting there minding my own business eating my dried apricots (we're on a "healthy living" deal. Not so healthy if you ask me.)
anyhow, next thing I knew, I was a dried apricot victim.
G-man. Much mo' better. I have to use an antibotic irrigation thingy 3 times a day for awhile just to be safe but all systems are back to "go".
Still.....I can't help but be freaked out about where that apricot got off to. I am soooo gonna be lookin under my bed every night.
Allah ackbar, I love me a good goat kabob. You keep offering up things like that and I might just go ahead and put on that bubka-dookey or whatever the hell it was you called it.
Check your shoes before you leave.
I never pegged you for kinky sex.
Behind that witty and clever exterior, lies a smoldering cauldron of lust, debauchery, and un-tamed hunger.
Rock on Crab!!