about
I fear I may be one of those people that the world is better off without. I make fun of people. I make bad jokes. I go in men's restrooms on bets to get the french tickler condoms out of the machine. My mouth has no shut off button. I act on impulse and frequently land in hot water over it. The more outrageous the act, the more I am driven to do it. Anything for a laugh.
Which brings us to last night. We had dinner with two perfectly lovely people. Only in my mind, he's lovely and loveable. She is nice to me. But I tell you she is stuck up beyond belief and talks too much, mostly about herself, her fine cooking, and her daughter the doctor. I found myself thinking....I will give you 5 dollars of the money I'm saving for my web site if you'll just shut the hell up for 5 minutes.
They are world travels. Polished and extremely well-spoken. She is a spiffy dresser. I'm a jeans and sweatshirt kinda gal. She smells like expensive perfume and soap. I smell like big yellow dog. She drinks expensive wine. I suck cheap brew outa the bottle and I like it. She eats Calamari. I eat nachos. She is well read. And can pronounce foreign words impeccably. I'm more like Tarzan when dealing with someone who speaks poor English...."Me eat now." Rub belly for emphasis. Point to plate of food.
She appears to know everything. I know absolutely nuttin honey. Seriously. I'm dumber than a bag of rocks and I like it that way. But I am completely lost when she starts gibbering about all this La Te Da stuff I don't understand. I find myself staring blankly at her necklace, like a zombie in a trance with drool dripping outa the corners of my mouth while she goes on and on and on. And oddly, she doesn't seem to notice. Just keeps talking away.
I am the dumb one and now....here I am today, making fun of her. Which also makes me a bad person. Dumb and bad. A blight to society. That's me.
I do so wish Bob would accept the fact that he has married an idiot and stop trying to put me into social situations where I clearly do not belong. I yam what I yam. Uncouth, uneducated, and a champion burper.
We are oil and water. No way do we belong at the same table.
I type a big thing and then did a preview and lost what I typed! Waaaaa!!!!
Anyway the gist of it is if she had not acted the way she did you would not have been talking about her. I had a friend once whom I really liked. I came to find out the he was a very smart person. I had no clue what do ever because he did not flaunt you with it. That is the way it should be.
Now let me join the growing crowd and quote a line from Bad Senta that I think really applies here... "like ya anyway"
If I didn't like you I would not keep coming back. By the way, being smart is not all about book learning or being snooty.
I love all of you guys too. Thanks. I'm not real bummed out over being dumb. I've been getting by pretty sweetly with my dumbness. But over the last two weeks I've run into about five times when I thought to myself, "Egads, I really am dim-witted."
Once at Jamwalls. He generally does cut and paste spoofs of current events etc. I wanted to post to something he'd put up but I clearly didn't know a thing about it. I looked at the pic 3 times and read all the comments and realized it would be smarter for me to say nothing.
Then Ing posted a poem by a poet she really likes. And told why she was impressed with it. Not only did I not understand what she was talking about, I didn't even know who the poet was. I like to post at Ing's because I really like her but again.....nothing happening in my upstairs bunker. I had literally nothing to offer other than total dumbness.
And of course, last night I was completely out of my league.
Now what makes all this worse is the story I will post above. Only by reading that will you fully understand the depths of my diminished thinking.
Sounds like Bob is a winner to me -- to have won you and to be at your table.
...this lady with whom you had dinner --- she sounds dull.
You post made me think of an old Bauhaus song I love -- but I can't think of the name? ...somethig about parties and being into them. doesn't really apply, but it came to mind.
You are a good person and you're funny as hell. Own it, baby!
catfish, that's the fattest fish I ever saw.
Denny, thank you! You make me smile too and I feel better about stuff today. I never was really down over it. Just....resolved. Ususally I can fake my way though things and the past few days I've had to face up to the fact that there will be times when I can't. Considering I got by this long before I figured that one out I have to say, I didn't do too badly. (or I didn't but I was too dumb to know it. LOL!
Roscoe! Where the heck have you been? So you didn't get it either? Man, is that ever a relief! Josh understand it though, huh? Ing is very bright and I think writing is her passion. I love anybody who has a sincere passion for something. Thanks for making me feel better.
Wally, dude I don't see her bubble bursting any time soon. She's a whole different species. Very polished and worldly. Elegant. But you know my Mother used to tell us, "Girls, always remember, we all put our pants on one leg at a time." To which I used to say, "If I sit down I can do both of mine at once." Poor mom. I realize now how frustrating it must have been for her. LOL!
Matty, I just love you. You're so geniune. Thank you!
Roxi, I'm betting you do just fine. I don't get the feeling that you're a bumbler. I am. Bob's Dad had to teach me how to cut my meat the first time I had dinner with them.
Pirate, next time these folks are booked I so need you to come with me. Only this gal doesn't let you get a word in. I don't even think she needs to breathe. I did manage to squeeze in the fact that I'd gathered up a whole grocery bag full of dog poop that afternoon.
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Check your shoes before you leave.
PS. Day 3 of Stripper Camp week continues either later today or tomorrow morning. I don't have the pics ready yet.