about
Today Bob must accompany Ellie to Texas for her brother’s viewing and funeral. At first glance this seems a simple enough chore, air flights and such notwithstanding. Ugh ugh. It’s gonna be a booger! Ahhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha!
To begin with, Ellie has always been a Southern Belle. She likes to be pampered and cared for. She is particular about clothing, lodging, food, and has on occasion (lots of times) taken immense dislike to the way a person phrases something. For instance, when a server asks, “Are you still working on that?” Ellie is appalled! Even blind, Ellie can spot a bad dresser from a mile away and she will be quite verbal about such tackiness. (snicker snicker….poor Bob)
Where was I?
She takes umbrage at not being the center of your attention. Let me give you an example. On Sunday we took Ellie to lunch. She began to tell us her story about shopping for the ….oh 3rd time I believe. The server came and asked Bob and I a question. When the server left Bob and I exchanged a couple of sentences. Ellie immediately interrupted, trying very hard not to sound irritated and informed us that every time we talk she has to start her story over. Nuf said. Nobody wanted to go through the shopping story a 4th time. We promptly shut our yaps.
Oh yeah, then there’s the matter of getting her from point A to point B. (keep in mind, they will be on a very tight schedule) Ellie has two speeds. Extremely slow and reverse. I do believe this is the point that has Bob sweating bullets. LOL!
And then there is the issue of sharing a bathroom with Ellie. They must be at the funeral home not only tonight but first thing tomorrow morning as well. Ellie likes to do a plack rinse, full floss, and leisurely brush first thing in the morning and last thing at night. That’s just the beginning of her “getting ready” ritual. And let’s not forget….Ellie likes to look GOOD when she will be seen by old friends and family.
Bob on the other hand, likes to have his morning constitutional followed by a quick shower and shave and Good Lord willing, breakfast.
As the hour of his departure nears, my man Bob gets more and more testy. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Heaven help him if Ellie has to use the restroom on the plane. I know. I know. It's not nice to laugh at somebody else's trauma. snicker snicker....SNORT!
I can't believe it either. Sucks doesn't it? I don't feel too bad though. They're gonna fly in, get there, rent a car, (maybe) make it over in time for the viewing, then back to the hotel, go to sleep, wake up early, get ready, go to an early funeral, back to Stan's house to see if there are any pics or anything Mother wants, then they have to hop right back on the plane.
No fun in there at all. LOL!
Now Crabby, you knot that mother does not smoke.
Don't listen to Crabby you guys.
Ellie is a great lady and fun to be around.
We all met for Easter dinner and someone asked me if i had gone to my church (big giant place) or if i went with Squirrel to her church.
I said that i didn't go at all and when the others just looked at me in disbelief, Ellie blurts out that she didn't go either and that she thought that God would forgive us both.
Give me a break, I go when most others don't. I was just giving the Easter only goers a place to sit.
LOL! Jenn, I'm so glad I didn't have to go. ahhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha! Now THAT is disrepectful. Poor milky. She has no idea how good she is compared to me.
ME. I'm doing what you said. I'm blogging and sucking it up till this passes. I miss Bob. He's excellent at attitude adjustments. LOL!
Ellie is full of vinegar. She's a major pistol for sure. She's also loving the attention from her first born son. But what mother doesn't like to feel loved by her son?
OOOOO. Fuck me. I'll be back soon as I back my own ass up to a giant boot.
yes, people. Crabby is officially losing it. but I'll get my mojo back. Promise.
Hey crab cake, email me the picture and give me your curtain password and I will take care of you. I promise not to touch anything else, promise.
Seriously, I know someone in Minnesota with the same problem and I don't think she figured it out. It must be your computer got to thinking you were having to much fun and decided to put an end to it.
I am sure you did it already but hopefully you rebooted than tried again in case the 'puter just got a little confused.
Check your shoes before you leave.
HEY...Poor Bob is MY line.
Extremely slow and reverse ahahhahaa....
I can't believe he's gonna be in MY TOWN and you aren't coming with him...sigh. :(