about
As children we find it easy to use our parents. You can get a loving parent to do almost anything for you. They will bail you out of trouble, find money, where there is none to pay for things you must have, and ultimately a parent will forgive you any injustice you have commited against them. I can not in good conscence say that I never took advantage of my Mother. Certainly not as I became older but as a self-focused teen, oh yeah. I did. Though in all honesty, when it came to money, I never used her. I laid in bed too many nights hearing her cry as she tried to pay the bills to ever abuse her in that way.Still there were little things. And I regret them all, deeply and forever. Being a slow learner, it wasn't until she actually up and died on me that I realized I had completely missed the opportunity to tell her how much she meant to me. To apologize for selfish misdeeds.
And so it goes. Life moves on. And we become the parent. In becoming the parent we know for the first time a love greater than the love we have for ourselves. We begin to understand why our parent, or parents, were such incredible saps. It was never for lack of intelligence. But rather a need born from the moment we as mother's felt that first stirring of life within, to protect them, keep them safe, and above all else see them happy. We pray that they grow to be good and caring people. That they will love and be loved.
And we all live together in a rainbow world with fairies and puppies and lollypops, right? Not quite.
Occasionally some parents, like some children, are forced to accept the fact that things are not as they were meant to be or should be. That somewhere down the line there was a disconnect. That there is, in fact, a time when you must let go. And maybe, just maybe, a time for rebirth of our own selfishness before our own days, growing ever shorter, are taken from us.
Crabby. I love you babe.
Things will be good. They will turn out ok.
Geeee I didn't mean to go there with my mail. i was just trying to point out that we have all.....
been selfish. especially as we were trying to find our way in life.
Things will work out, loved ones will find there way back.
Just trust....
Have you ever read about the prodical son?
Mone, thank you. In case ya can't tell, I had quite the night last night. LOL! Yee gads! I am sooo gonna have a tough time today doing my work. I never should have stayed up like that. I haven't done a pity party for years.
M-E. NO! Everything you wrote was dead on. And it's actually helpful to me believe it or not. I mean, it's true. maybe there are some folks out there who haven't at one time or another taken advantage of their parents but many of us have.
Course I'm hoping I don't have to be friggin dead before my kid realizes he might have some hidden kind of affection for me but...what the hell. It is what it is, right?
Crabby, your FREE? Oh boy!
Everyone did things they regret with their parents at one time or another. I am fortunate in that both my parents are alive still so I can thenk them for what they did. They do not think they did much. They think they let us down. The truth is I think they did OK. Sure I dissapointed them sone but I think in the long run things work out.
Now I do not know if you believe in the after life or not but I have to believe that your Mom is smilling down on the three of you for what you have become.
Even though it does not seem possible I have to believe your son will some day realize what you ment for him, what you have done for him, and things will be better. It probably seems impossible or at least improbabable but it will happen.
For now just concentrate on the party with Bob on Friday.
I love what you wrote. When you write from the heart it is awesome.
Check your shoes before you leave.
Crabby, what can I say? Wise words!