about
Just as the storm was advancing from "I'm gonna be dark and erie" to "I'm gonna whup yor ass and tear off your roof", two things happened at my house.
First ....... Lucy was struck by the "right now" need to make a poop.
She'd finally completed her never ending search for the perfect poop landing. And she'd gotten her butt lined up just right. Mid-poo, the tornado siren shrilled. That dog's sphincter slammed shut tighter than a fat lady's leotard at an all you can eat buffet.She flew back inside the house, nearly knockin me off my feet on the way by. (I was out there to lend her moral support. Clearly it meant a lot to her. PAH!)
The second thing that happened was, the cheap mexican refrieds I had kicked in. At this point I raced past Lucy to get to my own bathroom, only to find, I'M OUTA TOILET PAPER!
All stores and eateries had been closed out here for safety reasons so I had to think creatively. But then I remembered...Bob has an office upstairs with.....taaaaa daaaaa....a bathroom. I normally wouldn't dream of borrowing Bob's toilet paper because he buys the cheapest stuff he can find. The kind that your fingers go right through. (ladies, you know what I'm talking about) I hate that crap. But get this ...... the man has been hiding a secret stash of extra large rolled Charmin!
I pilfered the entire pack, carried it down the stairs, my belly gurgling and rumbling, and got busted.
"What the hell?? Is that my Charmin," he asks.
"No," I lied.
"Let me see it."
"No!"
We wrestled and I had a good grip till my belly cramped up.
"aaaHA!," he boasted proudly. "I knew it was mine. There's my name right there." Sure enough being the label kook he is, he'd slapped a label on the package that said, "Bob's Charmin. Keep your hands off."
"Give me some!" I demanded and by now believe me, I WAS prepared to knock him down and take it by force if I had to.
"Get your own."
"I'm out down here. Now share!"
"Use the cheap stuff up there."
"NO! I need the charmin. It's an emergency."
"If it was an emergency you'd use anything."
Just then a sound erupted from my person loud enough and forceful enough to scare the dog into her crate. It was kind of like you'd expect to hear when a volcano erupts. Cheap refrieds occasionally have that effect on me. Needless to say, he handed over a roll of paper. But only one and I had to sign a note saying I'd repay it.
Seequin, he doesn't label it cause it's his. He labels it cause he got a new label maker and he's on a Bob roll with it. He even labeled the dogs. geesh!
Iris, Dubbin disappeared into Smilin George's crate. I take no responsibility for the outcome of this visit. George is his own pervert....er person....dog. I meant dog.
Roxi, when ya get old and you've been together since the stone age, you begin to discover little bitty things that drive you nutso. For instance one person likes good quality tp. While the other person likes to save a buck and have tissue that evaporates on contact. To solve the problem of me having to put up with Bob's cheap tissue, I decided he buys for his office up stairs. I buy for the downstairs bathrooms so nobody gets their fingers wet.
Trust me kiddo, there are all kind of whacky things you end up doing when you've been married for years and years. And somehow, it just works.
Oddly enough, rumor has it that when one half of a couple who's been together that long dies, the other one begins to adopt the others old habits that used to drive them nuts just because they miss them so much.
weird, huh?
First of all the is some funny sh... stuff you got here. I am dying over the TP situation. I also find it funny that Bob wants the cheap stuff (actually I border on that too myself) but yet he had a secret stash of the good stuff.
I am starting to see a possible partial bet for that special football game. Of course I would need to do something humiliating (slightly) that involved me a something buckeye being display on a blog post or something but maybe, just maybe it will need to include a pack of case of charmin too. What to do if they should loose ... humnm
*roaring laughing* Funny story, at least the way you tell it. It must be really scary though, to ahve tornados. I'd die of panic! I've only seen them on National Geographic and Discovery channels on TV. Plus the film Twister. Powerful things those little buggers are. Glad you are all right! *being very naive when it comes to scary extreme weather*
Label on toliet roll? Hmm... that is a atas peculiar, I must say... *lol* I can imagine you wanting to punch him down and grabt that roll...
Have a good weekend!
Monsoon in Norway
barman, I am sooo up for a good bet on the OSU/Michigan game. If things keep going the way they are, that's gonna be the game of the year!
Dzer, I dunno, man. If it's got a label, doesn't that make it designer Bob's butt lingerie? (betcha that's spelled wrong)
Monsoon. Hi, kiddo! You know it's odd but you get used to the tonados. Course you don't wanna see one headed for your house. LOL!
On the toilet paper thing...when I need it, I can sooo take it from anybody. I insist that my sit-upon be clean and tidy at all times.
Tina, yep. Downstairs only charmin allowed. Upstairs, I don't use those bathrooms so Bob can have what he wants.
Gab, way to go, girlfriend. Always maintain control of the bath tissue. We ladies use most of it anyway so, we get first dibs on that.
Seequin, those power surges can be a booger. We just put power protectors on our electronics. That saves the day pretty much.
Miss understood, it's so funny. Bob actually folds his over and over. LOL!
Aw, Denny, you know it's never safe here. LMAO!
Buddah, NO! She never did finish that night. Storms rolled through all night long. And Lucy hung by my leg. How she could just forget she had that need is beyond me. poor ole goofy dog. Nice to see ya btw! :)
Check your shoes before you leave.
Oh...this is so Debbie doo doo bait!
Your yard...leaves.
where are my pictures of leaves?