about
Know what the problem with the internet is? It gives us far too much power. We can be whatever we wish we were. And occasionally ya might even feel a little pressure to be sexier, or smarter, or whatever is called for on any given day.Well, that's just a drag.
So, I'm outing myself.
For me, nothing is too sacred to laugh at. Sorry, I know it's not politically correct but, we are what we are. I don't doubt a mighty come uppence may await behind the pearly gates for the numerous gags I've video taped at the cemetary and really bad jokes told at funerals but, in my defense, those places were too morbid and needed cheering up.
I am not above getting my good friends drunk and talking them into doing really stupid stuff, which they later regret but I continue to giggle at.
I can't sing worth a crap.
But I will do anything for attention. And have no problem belting out the most horrific tunes in an effort to be noticed.
My dancing is slightly worse than my singing. But only because people tend to get stepped on.
Though I have an extremely low tolerance for alcohol. (one beer and I'm toasted....like, completely) If the drinks are free, I will suck them down, one in each hand, until I am clean outa my mind. Sadly, I have a history of embarrassing moments from this particular weakness. And such nights always end with me bowing obediantly to the toilet bowl whilst the room spins about, round and round.
I will giddily cheat to win a bet and feel absolutely no remorse for my actions.
I am not sexy. My nose is too big. My teeth are crooked. I have freckles and I can't see worth a damn anymore.
I am nothing special.
And I am so cool with that.
Smart? No friggin way. Half the time I don't know what anybody's talking about because while they're talking, I'm thinkin up my next gag.
And now I'm late getting in to take my shower. POOP!
PS. I had margaritas last night. Talked too loud and made several references to, "The Pussy People". Many apologies to the folks there who were celebrating their birthdays. I don't know what came over me. When my Mexican amigos started singing ...... I just went with it. Bygones.
Tina. LOL! You sound like Barney the dinosaur. But thanks. ahhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha! I'm cool with bein just regular. It's lots more fun to be an old fart that doesn't have to be frettin over how she looks all the time.
Milky, I WISH! Onnie was crazy but, ya gotta admit, he got lots of attention. And anyhow, he was always nice to me. LOL!
Miss Understood, thank you, kiddo. I think I'm going to like you too. I checked out your blog and I have definitely linked you. That second post was cracking me up!
Tina, are you giving me a raspberry again? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha! Nope, Onnie didn't call me a hausfrau. Least I don't ever remember it.
(did I ever fight with Onnie? 9 years of internet stuff gets muddled in your brain over time. LOL!)
Helen, "the chessboard behind the fence" is pretty darn clever! Now I'll be thinking of ours that way. We have one on the other side of the ravine behind our house. (those folks haven't had a decent nights rest since I moved in)
It's the hat that brings out the Dr. Zhivago. I'm soooo Laura. snooooRT!
Gab, I agree. And it's pretty darned hard to be somebody you're not. Least it seems like it would be. I had one for ya. I did really well too. I drank. Made an idiot out of myself and didn't get sick at all! Wooo hooo! Complete success!
PS. I'm liking you too. Actually I have some favorite people on here. I think sometimes you just know who's more for real and who isn't. Give me real any day of the week. I could give a care about how anybody looks or what their IQ is.
Roxi, and you're still the hottest gal in town. LOL! PS. You are front and center on the HNT this week. I found something that was wayyy too perfect for you not to use.
LOL! Jane, you ignorant slut. I didn't say pooped in the shower. I said I was pooped and I showered.
um....to the folks in other countries who don't know. "Jane, you ignorant slut", is a famous phrase here from Saturday Night live. America is a strange but wonderful place. LOL!
Herb. How I miss him .... in freaked out, weird, not so much kinda way. Still, ya gotta admire his ablility to turn any subject into total crap.
Someone beat me to it about the shower poop!
Sh*t from the first thing I saw you post which I believe was some sort of news thing that you had Jungle Jane and, maybe Roxi or Milky in ... I forget, I was hooked. You are fun people no matter what you look like or who you emberras. You just figure it is going to be your turn soon enough and roll with the punches.
I took a shine to you. Of course maybe if I really met you ... naw, I think I would should like you. Hey I even forgive you for being a Buckeye! Now that is saying something. Oh and by the way, I like your nows just the way it is do there. Just don't get to close to the deamon bird.
Barman, I felt the same way about you right off. I've even told Bob what a genuine guy you are. And that's risky cause Bob hates to talk about blogger stuff. LOL! We so need to get him to blog. Never gonna happen though.
PS. I can make you an honorary Buckeye before the big game. You know, so you can be on the winning side. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Reg, you complete me.
Milky, I needed to make a Christmas movie for Pastor Will, family and friends like every year and we needed a musical skit. Anyhow, I had to get Fred drunk or I might not have been able to get that wig on him.
I remember when Herb shit-bombed a very innocent Little House on the Prairie board at ITW. There is nothing more insulting than comparing the shade of your shit to a most beloved character's skin color, except MAYBE insinuating that you are Michael Landon reincarnated. Even the chick who played Nellie Oleson got insulted and she was pretty deranged herself.
At 9/19/2006 3:41 PM, 
Zen Wizard
The Pussy People?
I remember that movie called, Cat People. Was that close? Were they descendants of people who sacrificed people to leopards and other pussy cats?
Deb, did he really? ahhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha! I didn't know about that one. Those poor folks probably never knew what hit them. For sure when ever Herb was around the crap hit the fan.
Zen, no. You're no where near close. I'll tell ya what happened. Last year (I think it was last year) we called Michigan friend from our football party. A guy we talk with off and on through the game every year. My friend in her giddy drunkeness, excited about winning the game (yes Michigan/OSU is a VERY big deal in these two states) and she told him, laughing, "Michigan Sucks!)
This guy called her husband to tell on her. He was serious. He felt it was unsportsman-like. Said his feeling were hurt.
So I was mostly referring to him. Because, I have to tell ya, even now when I'm stone sober, he's a pussy!
Check your shoes before you leave.
So does this mean you were that Onmessa troll all that time ago????