Friday, September 22, 2006
Alas, as of this morning, there is no denying it. Lucy is an eataholic.

Oh sure, a part of me knew she had a problem. First it was napkins and paper towels, then she started eating dirt, rocks, twigs, toilet paper rolls. And finally, bugs. But still, I lied to myself. Said, nothing's wrong with her! She just has a curious nature.

When the fat wrinkles began to form under her collar I told myself, it's a muscle. (much like the fat wrinkles over my knees are muscle. right. sure)



But today we saw the vet. It took 3 of us to heft the tail-waggin, drooling lump that is, Lucy, up onto the weight scale. 95 pounds of, "Doh, is it dinner time yet?" sigh.

It is official Lucy and I must go on a diet and exercise program. We are not happy about this. Even now Lucy is lying in her bed, her head buried in the pillow, wallowing in a state of serious depression. She snatched a fallen chip from the floor, and I snatched it back. She lies there looking at me, moaning in dismay because I will not give her a milk bone even though she did tricks.



I was wrong. I should have seen she had a problem the moment I found Bob's missing credit card in her poop. But nay, I turned a blind eye.


It's clear to me now, that Lucy must face some kind of intervention. She has a problem. She may have to start attending D.O.E.A. meetings. Dog Over-eaters Annonymous. Let's face it, it starts with eating dirt, licking dirty dishes, and nabbing up napkins. But eventually, she's going to graduate to ........ doggie porn.


And now, I've shared our dirty little secret.
 
posted by Crabby at 11:19 AM |


30 Comments:


At 9/22/2006 12:17 PM, Blogger barman

Not doggie porn... oh no!!!!!


Maybe you can walk Lucky up to the DQ every day. That counts as an exercise program, doesn't it?

 

At 9/22/2006 12:30 PM, Blogger Crabby

That means....I have to walk too? Can't she just pull me in one of those doggie sled things? LOL!

 

At 9/22/2006 1:39 PM, Blogger MilkMaid

Yeah, those dirt, rocks and toiletpaper will pack on the pounds.

8-)

 

At 9/22/2006 3:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous

Is she still eating the poop? You'd think after eating poop she'd lose the will to eat anything else.

 

At 9/22/2006 3:11 PM, Blogger Spoony Quine

` Good to know she's not sick anymore! ...Don't tell me - it was something she ate.

` Y'know, there's plenty doggie porn on the Discovery Channel... wolves, dholes, foxes, jackals, coyotes, African Wild dogs....

` BTW, ALL OF YOU MUST LOOK AT THIS COMIC STRIP FEATURING POOPY PUPPY, THE POOP-EATING PUPPY!
` I command thee, as I was not in time on the other post....

 

At 9/22/2006 3:37 PM, Blogger Crabby

Milky, I know! that's why I gave it up and switched to DQ.

Debbie, Lucy isn't the poop eater. Creepy Lola does that. Lucy won't even stand close to poop. It freaks her out. LOL!

Seequin, your wish is my command oh pushy, bossy, one. LMAO!

 

At 9/22/2006 3:38 PM, Blogger Crabby

ahhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha! Don't ya just hate it when a meal is served too hot?

 

At 9/22/2006 3:59 PM, Blogger Manny

ahhhhhhh ha ha ha that look's like Bandit checking out the porn.

 

At 9/22/2006 6:34 PM, Blogger Crabby

Manny, I KNOW! I thought of that soon as I saw it. LOL!



We just got back and I'm beat. headed for the sofa and my blankie. We recorded shark. I hear it's a really good show people. Might wanna give it a look.

 

At 9/23/2006 9:30 AM, Blogger Manny

I'm all new again.

 

At 9/23/2006 10:44 AM, Blogger Suze

Crabby, your dog has just been suffering from a bad case of the munchies. This has been brought about by her recent pot habit.

If you can stop her rolling her own or using that bong she will soon loose the weight. I know it is going to be hard!

 

At 9/23/2006 5:36 PM, Blogger barman

You know those eyes you were a looking for? I have a spare set up for grabs on my photo hunt entry for this week.

 

At 9/24/2006 8:45 PM, Blogger Unknown

The horror.

I had a rabbit addicted to remote control buttons once. Had to enter RCNA (Remote Control Nibblers Anonymous)...not pretty, my friend.

 

At 9/25/2006 1:41 AM, Blogger Spoony Quine

` Aaaahhh haaaa! Actually, I had a robin that used to eat tinsel, rubber bands, cigarettes and soap!
` Amazingly, it never killed him, though the tinsel sometimes would hang out of both ends....

 

At 9/25/2006 9:12 AM, Anonymous Anonymous

To funny.. Thanks for the smile this morning.. I/O

 

At 9/25/2006 6:05 PM, Blogger SignGurl

I thought I left a comment on Friday.

Anyway, HI!

 

At 9/25/2006 6:23 PM, Blogger MilkMaid

Where the hell are you CupCake?

 

At 9/26/2006 8:54 AM, Blogger Crabby

Hi, guys! I'm eyeball deep in work over here and hoping to catch up today. But, OY are my dogs barkin!

Also waiting for bob to come back. His brother's doctor wanted his family there. He had radiation therapy for an aggressive form of prostate cancer and he's getting his progress results today.

The fact that the doc wanted the family to be there has everyone fretting.

I'm optomistic though. Until I hear a reason not to be.

K, back to work or I'll never get caught up enough to play.

Can't tell you all how relieved I will be when this phase of the grunt work is done. My back may be permanently bent after this. LOL!

 

At 9/26/2006 10:14 AM, Blogger barman

Stupid blogger...

Now your back matches your sense of humor. :)

I hope all went well with the doctor thingy.

Got to hurry up and get things done. Thanksgiving is under 2 months away.

 

At 9/26/2006 12:41 PM, Blogger Crabby

Somebody give barman a smack for me, will ya? I'm too danged sore!

 

At 9/26/2006 1:55 PM, Blogger Roxi

hehehehehe..

Your fucking hilarious..

I had to put star on a doggie diet.. she has special food and everything

 

At 9/26/2006 3:50 PM, Blogger Manny

I know you're eating Mexican and Dairy Queen. Come out and play!

 

At 9/26/2006 5:49 PM, Blogger barman

Oh ... I am about to go out and get some cheap Mexican. I should be doing something else but I have had a taste for it for over a week now. No DQ however as they will be closed but then. Yum, Mexican. drool

 

At 9/26/2006 5:52 PM, Blogger barman

Plebert (or something like that). Roxi is to far away and Sign wouldn't do that ... would she? No, I think I am safe. Then again she does like you and all Crabby. I best watch my step.

 

At 9/26/2006 5:57 PM, Blogger Manny

The best Mexican food comes cheap Barman. I know the best authentic Mexican place.

 

At 9/26/2006 5:57 PM, Blogger Manny

I'm sick and in need of a banana split.

 

At 9/26/2006 7:53 PM, Blogger barman

Manny, this place is OK but it is a far cry from a cheap authentic Mexican resteraunt. It is good but not what I would like to eventually find. The margarita did help.

 

At 9/27/2006 7:50 AM, Anonymous Anonymous

Always on the look out for fun blogs. Yours is the second best I've seen.

 

At 9/28/2006 7:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous

Lucy can join me when I go to my overeater thingy... hehe... I don't actually attend one, and I suppose Norway is a bit far away, sooo....

I like your posts, really funny! *lol*

 

At 9/28/2006 10:54 AM, Blogger Roxi

Hey.. where are you... why arent you posting..

I'm gittin pissy over here..