Alas, as of this morning, there is no denying it. Lucy is an eataholic.
Oh sure, a part of me knew she had a problem. First it was napkins and paper towels, then she started eating dirt, rocks, twigs, toilet paper rolls. And finally, bugs. But still, I lied to myself. Said, nothing's wrong with her! She just has a curious nature.
When the fat wrinkles began to form under her collar I told myself, it's a muscle. (much like the fat wrinkles over my knees are muscle. right. sure)
But today we saw the vet. It took 3 of us to heft the tail-waggin, drooling lump that is, Lucy, up onto the weight scale. 95 pounds of, "Doh, is it dinner time yet?" sigh.
It is official Lucy and I must go on a diet and exercise program. We are not happy about this. Even now Lucy is lying in her bed, her head buried in the pillow, wallowing in a state of serious depression. She snatched a fallen chip from the floor, and I snatched it back. She lies there looking at me, moaning in dismay because I will not give her a milk bone even though she did tricks.
I was wrong. I should have seen she had a problem the moment I found Bob's missing credit card in her poop. But nay, I turned a blind eye.
It's clear to me now, that Lucy must face some kind of intervention. She has a problem. She may have to start attending D.O.E.A. meetings. Dog Over-eaters Annonymous. Let's face it, it starts with eating dirt, licking dirty dishes, and nabbing up napkins. But eventually, she's going to graduate to ........ doggie porn.
And now, I've shared our dirty little secret.
posted by Crabby at 11:19 AM |
At 9/22/2006 12:17 PM, barman
Not doggie porn... oh no!!!!!
Maybe you can walk Lucky up to the DQ every day. That counts as an exercise program, doesn't it?
At 9/22/2006 12:30 PM, Crabby
That means....I have to walk too? Can't she just pull me in one of those doggie sled things? LOL!
At 9/22/2006 3:02 PM,
Is she still eating the poop? You'd think after eating poop she'd lose the will to eat anything else.
At 9/22/2006 3:11 PM, Spoony Quine
` Good to know she's not sick anymore! ...Don't tell me - it was something she ate.
` Y'know, there's plenty doggie porn on the Discovery Channel... wolves, dholes, foxes, jackals, coyotes, African Wild dogs....
` BTW, ALL OF YOU MUST LOOK AT THIS COMIC STRIP FEATURING POOPY PUPPY, THE POOP-EATING PUPPY!
` I command thee, as I was not in time on the other post....
At 9/22/2006 3:37 PM, Crabby
Milky, I know! that's why I gave it up and switched to DQ.
Debbie, Lucy isn't the poop eater. Creepy Lola does that. Lucy won't even stand close to poop. It freaks her out. LOL!
Seequin, your wish is my command oh pushy, bossy, one. LMAO!
At 9/22/2006 6:34 PM, Crabby
Manny, I KNOW! I thought of that soon as I saw it. LOL!
We just got back and I'm beat. headed for the sofa and my blankie. We recorded shark. I hear it's a really good show people. Might wanna give it a look.
At 9/23/2006 10:44 AM, Suze
Crabby, your dog has just been suffering from a bad case of the munchies. This has been brought about by her recent pot habit.
If you can stop her rolling her own or using that bong she will soon loose the weight. I know it is going to be hard!
At 9/23/2006 5:36 PM, barman
You know those eyes you were a looking for? I have a spare set up for grabs on my photo hunt entry for this week.
At 9/24/2006 8:45 PM, Unknown
The horror.
I had a rabbit addicted to remote control buttons once. Had to enter RCNA (Remote Control Nibblers Anonymous)...not pretty, my friend.
At 9/25/2006 1:41 AM, Spoony Quine
` Aaaahhh haaaa! Actually, I had a robin that used to eat tinsel, rubber bands, cigarettes and soap!
` Amazingly, it never killed him, though the tinsel sometimes would hang out of both ends....
At 9/26/2006 8:54 AM, Crabby
Hi, guys! I'm eyeball deep in work over here and hoping to catch up today. But, OY are my dogs barkin!
Also waiting for bob to come back. His brother's doctor wanted his family there. He had radiation therapy for an aggressive form of prostate cancer and he's getting his progress results today.
The fact that the doc wanted the family to be there has everyone fretting.
I'm optomistic though. Until I hear a reason not to be.
K, back to work or I'll never get caught up enough to play.
Can't tell you all how relieved I will be when this phase of the grunt work is done. My back may be permanently bent after this. LOL!
At 9/26/2006 10:14 AM, barman
Stupid blogger...
Now your back matches your sense of humor. :)
I hope all went well with the doctor thingy.
Got to hurry up and get things done. Thanksgiving is under 2 months away.
At 9/26/2006 1:55 PM, Roxi
hehehehehe..
Your fucking hilarious..
I had to put star on a doggie diet.. she has special food and everything
At 9/26/2006 5:49 PM, barman
Oh ... I am about to go out and get some cheap Mexican. I should be doing something else but I have had a taste for it for over a week now. No DQ however as they will be closed but then. Yum, Mexican. drool
At 9/26/2006 5:52 PM, barman
Plebert (or something like that). Roxi is to far away and Sign wouldn't do that ... would she? No, I think I am safe. Then again she does like you and all Crabby. I best watch my step.
At 9/26/2006 5:57 PM, Manny
The best Mexican food comes cheap Barman. I know the best authentic Mexican place.
At 9/26/2006 7:53 PM, barman
Manny, this place is OK but it is a far cry from a cheap authentic Mexican resteraunt. It is good but not what I would like to eventually find. The margarita did help.
At 9/27/2006 7:50 AM,
Always on the look out for fun blogs. Yours is the second best I've seen.
At 9/28/2006 7:48 AM,
Lucy can join me when I go to my overeater thingy... hehe... I don't actually attend one, and I suppose Norway is a bit far away, sooo....
I like your posts, really funny! *lol*
about
Alas, as of this morning, there is no denying it. Lucy is an eataholic. 
Spoony Quine
Check your shoes before you leave.
Not doggie porn... oh no!!!!!
Maybe you can walk Lucky up to the DQ every day. That counts as an exercise program, doesn't it?