scary

Good Morning Miss Crabcake, I bet you REALLY wanted to hear from me before you had your coffee. First of all the sock goes over Mr. Dick, not Mr.Hand. Secondly, none of those chicks look too bad really..Especially that one with the collar..Lastly, the genital wart thing?...you get used to it.

Jodes, I KNOW!

G-man. I had me coffee. Pleebt! Wouldn't Mr. Dick look silly wearing a sock with a wig and lipstick? I'd be afraid of givin him a complex or something. You could seriously turn him into an introvert, if ya know what I mean.

Ya mean....shrinkage?....You seem to know an awful lot about this subject. Have you ever had that effect on a man?

G-man, The organ you are referring to is called a penis, Mr. Dirty Mouth!

Now G-man, I doubt this is anything you gotta worry your head about. To shrink it, ya gotta be able to find it first.

Crabbie and Mildred, why do all the women in my life say the same thing? No wonder I'm so insecure!

I'm sure that third woman (and I use that term loosely (probably just like her pleasure zone ;))) was the dinner lady in my old primary school. Geesh I knew that things were hard financially for dinner ladies but all she seems to have done is go from one hard thing to another :P

Well aren't they just appealing. I think I'd rather stick my tackle in a coffee grinder myself, but there's no accounting for taste I suppose. After all.....some people think Britney Spears is pretty right?

wig yer sock...this gives a whole new meaning to sock monkey.

I think there are some sinners on here that need the blessing of my rosary. As soon as I get all of Dobbin's snot off of it, g-man is first in line.

What's wrong with your eyelids, Rodney? I didn't realize you needed to buy new ones.

Did you say he's hairy? Well, takes one to know one.

I will accept any and all blessings thrown my way, thanks.
(but I don't think that is snot)

` Some of the hoes that have lived in this place were small and cute and young... others were fat, ugly and/or old - like, I can't BELIEVE anyone would even be attracted to them! YUCK!

` BTW, nice new profile pic!

Crabby as you know, I tried my hand at whoring and I can tell you first hand dear, the men who frequent these kinds of ladies are quite toadish in appearance. Many of the ladies I worked near begged for a blindfold before performing their services.

Sal, LOL! Good choice.

G-man, careful dude, Mildred only says, "Mr. Dirty Mouth", when she's really ticked. Then next thing you know, all of Willowbrooke will be on your tail. Fortunately, they like me.... a lot, actually.

Gareth, dinner ladies? LOL! This is Irish speak, huh?

Hey you guys, it's Gareth's birthday! Sadly, I'm guessing nobody reads the comments section. This will be a good test to that theory.

Pete, LOL! You sure know how to turn a phrase.

Rodney, GASP! No you don't need to be buying it and anyhow, you have to take care of yourself. Without you how would the girls at Willowbrooke be able to sneak out at night?

Milky, I learned that tip on Martha Stewart. I used to watch her show all the time.

Ethel, there's an extra rosary in Concheta's dresser drawer. I'm sure she wouldn't mind. She's preoccupied right now anyway.

Iris, um...he means....hmmmm. lemme think. Ok, yeah, that's right. He needs new eyelids.

Seequin, thanks, baby! It's my new look for Crabby Do Good week. I'm totally like a new person. All good and cheery and crap.

puttaniere? Is that one of them fancy flowers that you stick in your button-hole? If it is thanks.

Funny I was going to ask if that last pic was you crabby ole girl! LOL Yeah men just use your ummm sock/hand I mean it works right?

My wigged sock has a Sam Elliott face.

Moustache rides WOOT!

Socks, how come no one ever lets me know these things? I best go do the laundry.

I have a hard enough time thinking of some of the people that I see with a new guy every time I see them. A Lady of the night just would not work out for me as I would feel guilty from moment one. Of course there is Nevada.

Gab....SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK! Shame on you! LOL! Don't you see my shiny new wings? I'm on the side of the angels this week. No whoring or um.....other bad stuff.

Milky, A girl sock? A GIRL SOCK! What a damn fine idea. I never thought of that.

Barman, would you believe...I didn't know about socks either till oh....maybe a month ago or something when I read another blog? Now I know all kinds of stuff. LOL!

geezLOOeeze. Check out my header. I am thee fattest monaLisa I ever saw. Maybe I'm pregnant. GASP! I have jowls!

After reading all the comments I forgot what I had to say...

Crabbie, I'm very sorry for being so lewd on your site. Thats not me, and I would like to make it up to the fine ladies at Willowbrooke. Could I stop by with my collection of quilts and try to make amends? Especially Mrs. Roberson in room 12, I have a box of Kleenex w/aloe, just for her..

Lol dinner ladies = people who make your lunches/dinners at school. Dining hall staff ;)

Well, I don't know any guy who has ever woke up in the morning and said, "Thank heaven I paid fifty dollars for a hooker last night!! Lucky I didn't just jerk off!!"

On a deeper and more serious level, the reason hookers even exist is because a man has to give away at least some modicum of power in a monogamous relationship, and that is "anti-sexy."

g-man is coming? Oh goody, fresh meat for Shirley!

G-man, you kin rub yer tissues on my drippy parts. I'm in room 14 huney butt. you get yerself on over and I'll go make myself available.

Ah, jeez. Shirley's after G-man. I knew I shouldn'ta gone out today! I just knew it.

then again, I have this gut feeling that...G-man is up to something. tsk tsk tsk.

Last time somebody messed with those old broads he ended up tied to tree covered tip to toe in deep heat. You could hear the screaming for miles.

Ewwwww.