about
I took my mini camera into the Mystic Tanning booth at LA TAN to intimidate the lady who hides inside that blasted booth somewhere. I don't know where she is because you can't see her but I know she's there somewhere because she never stops nagging me.
"Place your hand in front of the sensor to open the door. Place your hand in front of the sensor to open the door. Place your.....
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. Chill. I'll be there soon as I'm finished lookin' at myself."
"Place your hand in front of the sensor....."
This computer obviously doesn't realize I had complete instructions from a real live human already. They're very good about giving you helpful tips and stuff so you don't come out looking like a zebra. Sadly, my A.D.D. forces me to say...."ok. ok. Yep, I've got it," even though I have, in fact, been busy looking at the pictures on the wall.
This is my tip tray where they leave me money if I pay attention so they don't get a bad rap if I come out of there with polka dots or something.
(k. I'm lying again.) No tips. It's for your jewelry.
Hair net. That goes over your hair so it doesn't get sprayed. First time I did this, I'd push one side in and the other side would fall out. I mumbled a lot of foul language after the 5th go 'round while in the back ground the hidden computer lady kept naggin' at me to get my ass movin'. (not her words.) She's very polite. Nothing like me.
I finally figured out if I tied my hair in a pony tail and then put on my head band, the hair net thingy would slip right over, no problemo.
Slight moment of embarrassment during my human instructions. The gal told me, you "should" take off ALL your clothes. I dickered, not wanting my nether parts to be out and about. Then wisely pointed out the lady in the picture on the poster had her bathing suit on.
"I think that was just for the photos," she explained, patiently. "But you can leave your underwear on if you want to. The tanning solution will wash out."
First time.... I left them on. I must tell you they were the richest shade of bronze when I got out. Now as you can see....I take it off baby. I take it all off. Bob is lovin' the all over tan. Sometimes at night....... I speak Spanish to him. Drives him wild! Course all I can do is count to ten. But honestly....I only have to make it to five to get him going.
TaaaaaaaaDAAAAAAAA! Instant tan. And in a few more hours it will get darker. It lasts 5 to 7 days. At first not as long for me because not being much of a girly, girl....I hadn't been moisturizing. But they give you pretty specific instructions there to let ya know how to keep the tan going. So now I'm all soft and crap. Can you believe it? I'm turning into such a priss! But I have to say this is pretty cool. It's risk free....no cancer worries. No aging before your time. Just a nice even all over tan. And the best part....on Mondays it's only $10. You can also find pretty sweet coupons on-line.
That's what I did this morning. This afternoon.....got even better.
Labels: hot latino wannabe, instant all over tan, Mystic
At 7/09/2007 6:35 PM, 
GAB
Pasties perhaps for the nipples?
I do have a question. The name of the place is LA Tan. How come there are none of these stores in LA? My nearest one is 1 hour away. I will have to keep it in mind in case I am expected to go over someones pool party. I would hate to frieghten any people, small children or pets.
Dirk, the Mystic won't heat it up but it will give that sandwich a lovely bronze glow.
Gab, I'm surprised how well this works. It's especially good for the fair skinned folks who never can get a dark tan. Because no matter how you might tan in the sun, the Mystic thingy stains each person just as dark.
On those folds...I myself have some butt overhang (SHUT UP, MILKMAID!) and I admit I have two half moons hangin under my ass. But you can get this spray stuff to take home and touch up places like that. Works great. I don't use it back there because I can't see my rear end from the back anyhow. LOL!
Kingcover, Naw. No reason. I'm heading towards 60 and I've never been a girly girl before. Thought I'd give it a shot before I die. Got a pedicure too.
Petra, wait here while I go look.
Peeking...peeking......
um......nope. Still pink. But rapidly becoming invisible as my skin gets darker. Kinda like those nippless mannequins you see in the store. Course that's assuming you've ever pulled the top down on a mannequin in the store.
Milky, I think they're regular. I dunno. Can't get 'em to look up at me.
Dzer! You're back and posting. WOOO HOOOO! Oh wait....that's me that's been gone. LOL!
Barman, good question! I don't know. One hour away? Geez. That would be a long ride. I'm tryin to get Bob to try it. He likes mine so much I thought he might as well down load a coupon and git it a go. Lots of guys go in there and have it done. Manly men, all of them. (had to throw that in for the shy fellas)
Cazzie, I met NEW people! Got massaged, and everything. And I learned how to blow up a chicken in the microwave. WOOT!
At 7/10/2007 11:38 PM, Spoony Quine
` CRABBY!!! You may be tan, but now I shall for ever be established in the bloggerverse as a pasty nerd!!!
` And that's great!!!!!!
Curly, they used to come out orange. They perfected them now. It was the first thing I asked about. Really looks like a tan. I can walk ya through it. There are some little things you have to do but....not so much. It's pretty darn easy.
See, TanFastic is a great name! I don't do the tanning thing with lights so much. Dries all my aging parts up too much. This thing doesn't even have a light in it. And it only takes one minute! Now that I like cause I'm a busy person as you know. LOL!
ebezp, I DO! I'm seriously going to go for it. It's a great idea.
Iris, I always did think Rodney was a hottie.
I'll get you out. Watch for me. First I have to figure out how to get in. LOL! Damned short term memory. I can't find a blasted thing. But I'm looking. I'm looking.
BT, I doubt anybody goes weekly, year round. But maybe they do. Who knows? Ah, but that's the beauty of having your own money. It's up to you how you spend it.
Sign, Those spray tans used to come out orange or yellow. I remember friends getting them. You can find message boards now where people discuss which spray tans come out natural and which ones don't. That's what I did.
I'm kinda liking the island girl look. Before I went I had a tan from gardening so everything but my hands and legs were tan. LOL! Now everything matches and I don't look so goofy.
PS. you know, I think I'd like Mr. Sign. He's not willing to step up and try new stuff. Me too! Even if I look like a dweeb later at least it was fun. ahhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha!
Kept, no. But I'll check it out. Especially now since there's not a blasted thing on tv. Least not that I know of.
See, I'm almost scairt to see what you've been up to now. Almost. LOL!
Buddah, I had a better one with the net but it popped off my fat head before I could snap the pic. LOL! I soooo hope they don't have hidden cameras in there somewhere. They'd be gathering around with popcorn every time I went in.
Ethel, why don't you and Iris help me snag Allegra and we'll go get her all tanned up? She'll thank us later, honest.
Check your shoes before you leave.
I always take a Deli sandwich with me into the tanning bed. It heats up nice and toasty and provides me a good snack once I'm all warmed up and toasty too.