Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Ok. I'm gonna' need some help figuring this out. Possibly more than usual.
With this dandy device here..... do you tippy toe on cat-like feet, sneaking up to the crapping canine .... smoothly slipping it beneath the dropping turds? Or do you medicate the dog with valium or some type of heavy alcoholic beverage so he just doesn't give a crap (pun intended) that you're behind his anus with a cup on a stick waiting for movement? (again, pun intended)
On this one, do we spray directly up the dog's ass, hindering risk of bowel movement... possibly forever? Or ...... do we spray (with teensy bar straw attachment) onto giant steaming pile of dung, until it becomes something, I assume, would be akin to fossilized dog shit?



But the kicker is....after such extreme poop intervention.... why would ANYONE want to buy an entire bag of........... fake dog poop??? Real product. I swear! Hell, I'll freeze up a bag of fossilized Lucy poo and sell it for half price on ebay!

If you thought I was finished....think again. This....oh this is a real beauty here. The doggie cell phone. That's right, now, no matter where your dog is, for the low, looooow price of seventy something bucks.... your dog can hear your voice up close and personal saying....... blah blah blah blah, fido. blah blah blah blah!
CRAZY PEOPLE !
Listen up. Dogs don't understand English. Trust me! The only words they know are....... biscut and weinie.

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posted by Crabby at 2:50 PM |


19 Comments:


At 9/05/2007 3:53 PM, Blogger MilkMaid

That poop catcher would NEVER work on Dutch. She can walk for six blocks, all hunched up trying to take a poop before she finishes. She looks like some kinda of sand crab or something.

Helen says frozen poop is the best to shovel. I .... wouldn't know about that LOL

 

At 9/05/2007 3:54 PM, Blogger MilkMaid

ahahahah buscuit and weinie. Our words are CHIP and PEEP. Chip is food and peep is to pee OUTSIDE of my house.

WANNA CHIP?

NEED TO PEEP?

They go nuts. I wished my kids were as easy to train.

 

At 9/05/2007 4:00 PM, Blogger Crabby

chip and peep? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha!

 

At 9/05/2007 4:06 PM, Blogger Kingcover

"biscut and weinie" - that really WOULD be an intelligent dog if it could not only understand English but also correct spelling mistakes!!! Where do I sign up for one of those?

 

At 9/05/2007 4:11 PM, Blogger MilkMaid

I'm fucked if we have to spell correctly around here. :-/

 

At 9/05/2007 4:13 PM, Blogger Zen Wizard

Those little toy robot dogs are looking better all the time.

At least if THEY take a dump you can use it for scrap metal.

While I am on the subject of dog poop, back in MY DAY if you had, say, a History teacher who was a real dickweed, you had to collect REAL dog poop, put it in a sack, leave it on his porch, and ring the doorbell.

Kids nowadays will never appreciate this ritual; the fake dog poop makes it all to easy.

Pretty soon they will be coming out with fake toilet paper to toilet paper said fascist History teacher's lawn--wait, that would not make any sense...

 

At 9/05/2007 4:26 PM, Blogger Kingcover

Ya I know Milkmaid. It wulod be scuh a bmuemr to aultlcay hvae to tihnk aobut the slilenpg of wrdos boerfe ctmiomtnig tehm to tihs!

 

At 9/05/2007 5:38 PM, Blogger barman

That last device lets you do more than carry on a conversation with your dog. But for the cost of the phone (yikes) I do know. Even my cell phone is not that bad. *sniff* wait a minute, no one cares if I get lost.

I think you should put on your tennis shoes so you can 'neak up on said dog and scoop on the fly. And for heaven sakes, don't freeze no dogies butts. How would you like that?

 

At 9/05/2007 5:44 PM, Blogger Unknown

Good God, Crabby! Dog shit has its own industry? Well, that’s capitalism, ain’t it.

 

At 9/05/2007 6:55 PM, Blogger justacoolcat

Ok, this is one shitty post. Ha!

Frozen poop is the best to shovel, but I'm not sure I want to take the time and spend the money to freeze it. As for the poop catcher, my dogs would never go for it.

 

At 9/05/2007 8:38 PM, Blogger G-Man

Nice......
And you are the #1 Blog?
Wow, I can see why now..
You Rock Crabbie..xoxox

 

At 9/05/2007 9:03 PM, Blogger GAB

Ok Ok Ok wait wait I gotta stop laughing. Are you serious? No you dont follow the dog with the scooper yes you freeze it after it hits the ground and aren't those like doggie treats you buy to give your dog? Geeze do I gotta tell you everything? LOL LOL Sorry just had to after my long long week!

 

At 9/06/2007 7:10 AM, Blogger SignGurl

I could have used the poop cup when I was potty training my kids!

 

At 9/06/2007 10:30 AM, Blogger cadbury_vw

hysterical

thank-you for the morning laugh

that's really funny

 

At 9/06/2007 10:45 AM, Blogger Crabby

King, any dog that spells better than me is......just a regular dog. LOL! I'm guessing even a hamster might have a shot at beating me at a spelling bee.

Milky, you and me both, baby. On word, I have a spelling corrector and sometimes it'll correct me and I'll argue with it.

Zen! Weren't those the best times? And they ALWAYS went for it.

Barman, my feeling is, my dog doesn't get a cell till she can prove 100% she knows how to order up a pizza for me.

Nick, can you believe that??? I get stuff in my mail from a company I order bird food and rawhide from. And the stuff they sell is absurd! People buy it too!

Justacoolcat,
"Ok, this is one shitty post. Ha!"
Now that is possibly one of the best comments you could have made to this post. LOL!

G...I'm not number 1. (sniff) I got demoted. SOB, CHOKE.
mmmmmm maybe..... I dunno .... mmm maybe if you sent cash? It might could cheer me up some?

Gab, you DO gotta tell me everything which is why you shouldn't just take off and leave me on my own like you did. (sniff)

Sign, you are onto something! We could do the same poop freeze thing and sell it to mother's with kiddie's potty training. Think how much easier it would be to remove the number 2 special out of those britches if it just flaked right off?

Cadbury, you are welcome sir.

 

At 9/06/2007 11:26 AM, Blogger Little Wing

Crabby you are absolutely hysterical, you rock!
I am adding you to my friends list, now where is it that I vote for you?

 

At 9/06/2007 11:53 AM, Blogger Crabby

Aw, thanks Little Wing! I posted back on your blog. I have you linked too.

 

At 9/06/2007 12:26 PM, Blogger Little Wing

Crabby, I went to the place to vote, but I am an idiot, what do I do after I get there to vote, do I leave a comment?
Where is your friend Kelly from, maybe we ARE related, lol!

 

At 9/08/2007 12:19 AM, Blogger Spoony Quine

That's right, now, no matter where your dog is, for the low, looooow price of seventy something bucks.... your dog can hear your voice up close and personal saying....... blah blah blah blah, fido. blah blah blah blah!

` Aaaa haaa! It's so true! Well, maybe if you travel a lot and your pet gets anxious... then you can freak them out by hearing your voice in their collar and make them think it was possessed!