about
With this dandy device here..... do you tippy toe on cat-like feet, sneaking up to the crapping canine .... smoothly slipping it beneath the dropping turds? Or do you medicate the dog with valium or some type of heavy alcoholic beverage so he just doesn't give a crap (pun intended) that you're behind his anus with a cup on a stick waiting for movement? (again, pun intended)
On this one, do we spray directly up the dog's ass, hindering risk of bowel movement... possibly forever? Or ...... do we spray (with teensy bar straw attachment) onto giant steaming pile of dung, until it becomes something, I assume, would be akin to fossilized dog shit?
But the kicker is....after such extreme poop intervention.... why would ANYONE want to buy an entire bag of........... fake dog poop??? Real product. I swear! Hell, I'll freeze up a bag of fossilized Lucy poo and sell it for half price on ebay!
If you thought I was finished....think again. This....oh this is a real beauty here. The doggie cell phone. That's right, now, no matter where your dog is, for the low, looooow price of seventy something bucks.... your dog can hear your voice up close and personal saying....... blah blah blah blah, fido. blah blah blah blah! CRAZY PEOPLE !
Listen up. Dogs don't understand English. Trust me! The only words they know are....... biscut and weinie.
Labels: cell phone, crazy people, dogs, poop
At 9/05/2007 4:13 PM, 
Zen Wizard
Those little toy robot dogs are looking better all the time.
At least if THEY take a dump you can use it for scrap metal.
While I am on the subject of dog poop, back in MY DAY if you had, say, a History teacher who was a real dickweed, you had to collect REAL dog poop, put it in a sack, leave it on his porch, and ring the doorbell.
Kids nowadays will never appreciate this ritual; the fake dog poop makes it all to easy.
Pretty soon they will be coming out with fake toilet paper to toilet paper said fascist History teacher's lawn--wait, that would not make any sense...
That last device lets you do more than carry on a conversation with your dog. But for the cost of the phone (yikes) I do know. Even my cell phone is not that bad. *sniff* wait a minute, no one cares if I get lost.
I think you should put on your tennis shoes so you can 'neak up on said dog and scoop on the fly. And for heaven sakes, don't freeze no dogies butts. How would you like that?
At 9/05/2007 9:03 PM, GAB
King, any dog that spells better than me is......just a regular dog. LOL! I'm guessing even a hamster might have a shot at beating me at a spelling bee.
Milky, you and me both, baby. On word, I have a spelling corrector and sometimes it'll correct me and I'll argue with it.
Zen! Weren't those the best times? And they ALWAYS went for it.
Barman, my feeling is, my dog doesn't get a cell till she can prove 100% she knows how to order up a pizza for me.
Nick, can you believe that??? I get stuff in my mail from a company I order bird food and rawhide from. And the stuff they sell is absurd! People buy it too!
Justacoolcat,
"Ok, this is one shitty post. Ha!"
Now that is possibly one of the best comments you could have made to this post. LOL!
G...I'm not number 1. (sniff) I got demoted. SOB, CHOKE.
mmmmmm maybe..... I dunno .... mmm maybe if you sent cash? It might could cheer me up some?
Gab, you DO gotta tell me everything which is why you shouldn't just take off and leave me on my own like you did. (sniff)
Sign, you are onto something! We could do the same poop freeze thing and sell it to mother's with kiddie's potty training. Think how much easier it would be to remove the number 2 special out of those britches if it just flaked right off?
Cadbury, you are welcome sir.
At 9/08/2007 12:19 AM, Spoony Quine
That's right, now, no matter where your dog is, for the low, looooow price of seventy something bucks.... your dog can hear your voice up close and personal saying....... blah blah blah blah, fido. blah blah blah blah!
` Aaaa haaa! It's so true! Well, maybe if you travel a lot and your pet gets anxious... then you can freak them out by hearing your voice in their collar and make them think it was possessed!
Check your shoes before you leave.
That poop catcher would NEVER work on Dutch. She can walk for six blocks, all hunched up trying to take a poop before she finishes. She looks like some kinda of sand crab or something.
Helen says frozen poop is the best to shovel. I .... wouldn't know about that LOL