I have complaints about this death thing. I don't much care it.

For starters, the funeral homes charge for refrigeration of your loved one. WHAT THEE HELL ELSE ARE THEY GONNA DO WITH 'EM? Have a visitation where the beloved departed smells like rotten hamburger?

Second, did you know an Urn for the cremated loved one can cost upwards of $800 smackers? Hell, I can go to Old Time Pottery and find a big pot for under $30. Or, if you're just gonna scatter the person's ashes...how about one of those disposable plastic things people take leftovers home in?

Here's a BEAUT for ya. You get 30 days to pay for the funeral. If said loved one had no money to speak of....you better be able to get your hands on 10 thousand or so, fast. And if you pay up front you can get a discount. Most folks are too far out of their minds to try that. Bob wasn't. He made them deal. LOL!

Then comes the disbursement of the properties. SHOOT ME PLEASE! This is the part we're on. We have a short amount of time to "get her done" or we'll be paying another month's rent and utilities on the apartment. So...perfect time for all the sibs to go completely bonkers. Only sane one in the bunch right now is Bob. The SIL has completely lost it. She wants absolutely everything to stay in the family. Anything we don't want she wants packed up and sent to her. Any idea how much it cost to mail furniture, pots, dishes, clothes, from Ohio to Texas?

In a recent act of defiance I have packed up and mailed off the two bottles of suppository laxatives I found in Ellie's frig when I cleaned it out.

These people better find their brains soon because I'm a busy woman. I have things to do, places to go. I mean....has it occurred to the two brothers just to lie their asses off to the sister? Hell, if they're too distraught or whatever to do it. I'LL DO IT! Just say, "Yes, we have it all in the family." How is she gonna know the difference?

So sad. It always falls to me to do the lying and the cheating. But, come on! Let's face reality here folks. It's the only way to, "get her done!"

Labels: cheating, lies, possesions, suppository, tupperware, urns