TWO OF THE SISTERS (especially Manny) SHALL MEND THEIR WAYS, OR I SHALL HAUL THEIR SORRY BUTTS UP HERE WITH ME, WHERE ST. PETER SHALL WATCH THEM, 24/7.

I'm not kidding. Manny and I have both experienced....well, life changing health issues. Manny has her kidneys and liver to deal with. I now have asthma and yet another possible head operation. (nice way of saying nasal rotor rooter) I got scanned today. Manny got biopsied yesterday. Both our results come back tomorrow.
In the meantime....we gotta make life changes if we wanna hang around and continue to play...in a nice way of course.

And so...as a means of making amends...this is my confession post. And I challenge Manny to do the same. (like before the results come back tomorrow and we both go down the toilet)

I have used my computer to irritate and annoy my sisters and son because...well, I thought it was funny.
I confess I did, in fact, take unflattering pictures and videos of Manny to post when she was too sick to chase me. And even later when....she got more feisty ..... but only cause I realized even if she tried to catch me....she'd never get that IV pole through the doorway in time to catch me before I got on the elevator.
I took them and basically told Manny:I have used my camera to take unflattering pics of the Squirrel because I thought they'd make funny Christmas videos......um....and possibly cards.
I took this pic of Jake to get even with him for the pooper scooper video he posted of me on U Tube when I was wearing my fat pants. (I'm not sure this is really a bad thing since he started it.)

I knowingly cheated, my friend Fred. (he doesn't read this so I can confess without hearing from him about it.) I paid off a bet to him with assorted grocery coupons instead of cash and claimed not to know any better.
Then I cheated again to win money on another bet.
I also cheated at boggle but they caught me. And it wasn't a total cheat anyhow. Maybe a little bit.

I have more but...I'm outa space. Cept, I ate Bob's oatmeal cookies and blamed it on Jake.

And I charged Jake 75% interest on money he five dollars he borrowed from me when he was in high school.
Also, when he was in 2nd grade, I sent him out front to wait for the bus on a day when there wasn't any school.
Ok. I feel better now. Manny's turn. (go over and post it manny. You'll feel better)

Labels: blackmail, cheating, debouchery, drinking, revenge

I have complaints about this death thing. I don't much care it.

For starters, the funeral homes charge for refrigeration of your loved one. WHAT THEE HELL ELSE ARE THEY GONNA DO WITH 'EM? Have a visitation where the beloved departed smells like rotten hamburger?

Second, did you know an Urn for the cremated loved one can cost upwards of $800 smackers? Hell, I can go to Old Time Pottery and find a big pot for under $30. Or, if you're just gonna scatter the person's ashes...how about one of those disposable plastic things people take leftovers home in?

Here's a BEAUT for ya. You get 30 days to pay for the funeral. If said loved one had no money to speak of....you better be able to get your hands on 10 thousand or so, fast. And if you pay up front you can get a discount. Most folks are too far out of their minds to try that. Bob wasn't. He made them deal. LOL!

Then comes the disbursement of the properties. SHOOT ME PLEASE! This is the part we're on. We have a short amount of time to "get her done" or we'll be paying another month's rent and utilities on the apartment. So...perfect time for all the sibs to go completely bonkers. Only sane one in the bunch right now is Bob. The SIL has completely lost it. She wants absolutely everything to stay in the family. Anything we don't want she wants packed up and sent to her. Any idea how much it cost to mail furniture, pots, dishes, clothes, from Ohio to Texas?

In a recent act of defiance I have packed up and mailed off the two bottles of suppository laxatives I found in Ellie's frig when I cleaned it out.

These people better find their brains soon because I'm a busy woman. I have things to do, places to go. I mean....has it occurred to the two brothers just to lie their asses off to the sister? Hell, if they're too distraught or whatever to do it. I'LL DO IT! Just say, "Yes, we have it all in the family." How is she gonna know the difference?

So sad. It always falls to me to do the lying and the cheating. But, come on! Let's face reality here folks. It's the only way to, "get her done!"

Labels: cheating, lies, possesions, suppository, tupperware, urns