about
We need bail money. Preferably before Jane ends up married. Our new roomie Olga has taken a fancy to Jane and told her, "You're gonna be my bitch, baby." (shiver)
Normally Jane is pretty open minded as you know but ..... Olga only has 2 teeth and she smacks her gums something awful when she eats. And she's also kind of .... well, big.
The first hour we were here she carried little Janie around in her big meaty arm like a worn out teddy bear. Milky and I tried to pry her loose but, Olga is a beastie of a gal. Anyway, ever since Jane finally got loose she's been hidin under the bed muttering curses. The more pissed off she gets, the stronger her Aussie accent gets and it's really turning Olga on. Now the beast is trying to lure Jane out by showing her, her.....well, her package. It's gruesome! Mostly because Olga appears to be turning herself on and when Olga is turned on, she salivates. You can't hardly cross the floor to the john any more without slipping in it.
Milky being the natural nester that she is tries constantly to comfort Jane. And I just noticed that Olga keeps looking down Milkmaids top every time she bends over to talk to Jane under the bed. I sure hope Olga isn't a Mormon or she might marry both of them.
As you can see, I'm keeping my distance. It's every man for himself in the big house. Sorry, Jane. Sorry, Red but I'm sure you understand. I mean, Olga's pits smell like battery acid. And in my defense I am trying to round up bail money.
OO OO. Here comes dinner!
Crap on a cracker it's catsup on bread again. We had the same damn thing for breakfast and lunch.
We do have a tv in here on the wall but the only thing they ever show is "Cops".
Ugh oh. Jane just made a bullet out of her catsup bread and hurled it at Olga and....wait a minute.....NUH UGH! OLGA THINKS IT WAS ME!
SOMEBODY TAKE UP A COLLECTION. QUICK. WHATEVER YOU CAN PULL TOGETHER.
Damned HoneyHive. We never would have gotten pinched if it hadn't been for her.
Gosh you guys. I'd like to help ya but then she'd notice me. I mean in the long run aren't you better off if I just get our posters to take up a collection. (haven't seen a penny yet. c'mon! surely somebody has some loose change they can part with.)
Crusher, who's Duff? Is that the crime fighting dog?
Ah, jeez! JANE! GET AWAY FROM THE BIG TOOTHLESS WOMAN. SHE MAKE BAD JUJU FOR YOU!
(in the softest of whispers) "Olga get offa Milky's neck.)
Milk, I tried but she's not listening to me. Don't give me that look. Aw, crap. Please dont make me come over there. If she finds you two attractive she's gonna go positively wild over me. I mean, look at this body! I'm practically Angelina Jolie here.
ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! STOP SWEARIN AT ME! I'M COMIN. but I'm not happy about it.
She smells like burning rubber and dead fish .....powdered. It's weird. Did ya notice how the guards all wear gas masks when they bring our food trays?
Last night while you guys were sleeping, I was laying there trying to figure out a way to break outa here when I heard something like a marble rolling across the floor. I looked down and Olga's fake eye was looking back up at me. (shiver)
She's got the hots for Janie somethin fierce. It's kinda like we have our own version of that King Kong movie only Kong is a whole lot uglier and smellier.
Now she keeps reaching under the bed trying to pull Jane out. And Jane's cracking. Definitely. Last night .... she thought Olga was Axl Rose. I'm not kiddin.
We gotta put the jungle back in Jane...like quick. Or she's gonna end up being Olga's bitch.
OO. Here comes breakfast. What is it today? OH SCREW ME! Catsup on bread again? If I ever find Honey, I'm gonna kill her again.
Tumble, you get those pics over here. LOL! If I'd had one, you would have been right under the bed next to Jane and Milky. ahhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha!
Wayne, if that meatloaf shows up, Olga will never see it because....I luv meatloaf. LOL!
Ok. Ok. I guess I have no choice but to sashay over there and try to distract Creepy Olga so these two can get out from under the bed. But if she makes me her bitch there's gonna be hell to pay.
Here I go. I'll use...."the walk". Nobody can resist, "the walk". It's a man killer, I tell ya. Only Olga's not a man. Oh well, no matter. Just let me swing that thing and then once I get her attention, I'm gonna run like hell!
Check your shoes before you leave.
oh dear god. Has Olga given birth to my head? Oh lordy me, piss on a tree!
Look if no money is forthcoming i will have to simply close my eyes and imagine that Olga is Axl Rose. Yes. That will do the trick. Oh hang on, i feel myself tingling already...oh yes Olga you large lump of lovin'...
Crabby you take the money and split. i think i will stay. it's warm and dark here and i feel ever so protected...