about
A tragic accident occured late last night in the laboratory of a prominent Scientist. A distraught Dr. Crabcake was kind enough to grant the following interview immediately following a massive explosion which knocked her silly.
Interviewer: Dr. Crabcake you appear to be missing an eyebrow. Did that occur during the mishap?
Dr. Crabcake: ddddddd duh duh doo dooby. (Crabcake shakes her head at this point in an effort to regain proper speech patterns.) hm? Eyebrow? er...no...I shaved that off accidentally on magarita night.
Interviewer: Can you tell us what happened here?
Dr. Crabcake: mmm. Yes. RightO. Well, I put Honey in the cloning machine and flipped the switch and set the timer as always. But then, I got hungry so I decided to nuke ...er....microwave ....a .....um....a hot pocket. Pizza flavor. When the microwave wouldn't start I gave it a little tap on the side like this ..... TAP...TAP...TAPTAPTAP! It began to vibrate and spark and then.....and then......well, next thing I knew I was over there. (Dr. Crabcake points to the far corner of the room where a large hole made my her head marks the crash site.)
Interviewer: And what did you find when you came to your senses?
Dr. Crabcake: Huh?
Interviewer: I said, what did you find when you woke up?
Dr. Crabcake: My hot pocket was burned beyond recognition. I could only eat the stuff in the middle and it was pretty stiff.
Interviewer: No no. What did you find in the cloning machine?
Dr. Crabcake: Oh. Yeah. Sorry. Well, HoneyHive's body had rearranged itself. Terrible mess. Just terrible. She wasn't breathing. I thought about doing mouth to mouth but .....well, ick. So I called my assisstants and we buried her out there behind the stink bush.
Interviewer: But you're sure she was dead?
Dr. Crabcake: I'm a professional. I know dead when I smell it. Unless..... naw. Nevermind.
Interviewer: You must feel terrible about the loss of this young girls life.
Dr. Crabcake: Oh absolutely. It's heartbreaking. (then in a whisper) Are we about through now because I'm postitively starving. Digging a hole that large really works up an appetite.
Gadzooks! It's a HO HAUNT! Unless ........ sayyyy Milky it was your job to lock up the burial box. You did lock it........right? Haunted by a HO. Just my rotten luck. Now I gotta rekill her.
Willy jo, yanno, you and me, we think a lot alike sometimes. But don't let that scare ya.
Roxi, you do know she's one of the undead, right? Which means you might have to feed her some caffeine or something to get her movin fast enough to keep up with ya.
Lady, thank you. LOL!
Ghost of Honey, now leave Casey alone. We're allowed to say anything we want here. Unless it pisses me off then the chesticles start twitchin and I gotta get mean.
Yeah, I heard of this protective thing before. It's "something or other sydrome". Happens when you take a hostage. If you keep them long enough they get all attached to you and stuff.
But I hadn't planned on gettin haunted. Frankly this whole hauntin thing is giving me a case of the creepin willies. I saw Poltergeist. No way I want my closet door to open up and have some big light shining out of it with Honey stanging back there ....like beckoning to me and stuff.
Hey Tumble, do know a good exterminator?
This friggin Zombie Ho keeps tryin to hump my dog.
I'm not gonna be able to sleep with her in the house. That's for sure. She makes a damnable racket with all that moaning and crap.
HONEY! FER CRYIN OUT STOP DRAGGIN YER FOOT WHEN YA WALK, WILL YA? (like fingernails on a chalkboard the way she shuffle drags around the house.)
Milky, you want a movie of the twitchin chesticles. Ok. That's doable. I'll charge the camera.
Lady, what we have here is .......Honeyville. The Honeyville Whore. (shiver)
I don't like to look under my bed even under the best of circumstances. Now I'm gonna have to take a runnin jump to get myself tucked in at night.
What about a silver bullet? Oh no. Crap. That's werewolves.
Is there a priest in the house? Never mind. A priest would be a guy. That won't work. She'd hump him to death.
JUNGLE JANE! I SWEAR I'M GONNA CLIMB RIGHT UP IN THAT TREE AFTER YOU.
You are so grounded young lady! Soon as I catch you. Maybe I should have some coffee first it'll speed me up.
Now you're gonna get Milkmaid goin again. Last time she laughed herself stupid till she got the hiccups.
I'm developin a freakin complex for cryin out loud.
Roxie, I could give you one of her clones but you'd wanna keep the lights out for that. They're butt-ugly. OO. Unless you want them for grunt and gopher work. I'll find somebody for ya. It'll be my new mission.
Last time I saw Honey she was draggin her dead stiff leg down the street headed toward Purvis.
Sorry Chester, your limp pinky doesn't show up in your pic. Ok, then she's Crusher's girlfriend or Chucks but definitely a Purvis girlfriend. When I visited Purvis a few years back it wasn't uncommon at all to hear the preacher at a wedding say, "I now pronounce you man and sheep."
Didn't bother me any. Live and let live I always say. If all the real girls in Purvis leave to find men that have all their teeth what else is a Purvis guy gonna do, right? Well, unless he goes the way you did, Chester.
Crabcake, honey, pay NO attention to that higher1 asshole. He/she/IT hacked SEVERAL blogs in the past months, including mine. I am bound and determined to nail the fucker. Title 18 (U.S.C.), Pt. 1, Chapter 119, Section 2511 states there is a $500 fine and 6 years in prison, if caught. (sorry, I know you said nothing serious here.) I'm sick to my stomach over this. I've got your back if he decides to fuck with you, and sorry he followed me here. NO JOKE, girl. Watch your ISP, this asshole is dangerous.
Naw. It's ok, Lady. This isn't the same higher1 that was posting all the disgusting stuff on people's sites. (Actually I don't think I was around yet for that. Cause I only saw a couple of comments recently. And nothing about having sex with animals or any of that other stuff I heard they kept going on about) But the people who are using their names now ran the two flamers off and are using their identities as a joke mostly to irritate the trouble makers they ran off. Most of the people posting over there know this. Sadly, not everyone is in "the loop". Maybe they should be? Lady for one is a regular poster with us and deserves to know there's no danger here.
I do know there is a blogger currently who's site has been closed down and is under investigation. And I've also heard some rumors. We'll see what shakes out.
But don't fret over higher 1 or his/her sidekick. They're not only no threat but could proove to be helpful in uncovering the real hijacker.
Higher1....you guys need to realize not everyone knows you're just joking around. With all the crap that's been going on, it's natural for people to get wiggy. So give Lady a break here, ok? She's always been a fun person and she's just tired of the crap. Understandable IMO with all that's been going down. Remember, she does not know you!
Personally I'd like to see this hijacker peep whupped till he cries momma just because he/she is boring thee living hell out of me now. Enough, already. Ya did it once. Over and over again is redundant.
Lady, thanks for having my back. I appreciate that. But don't fret over these guys, ok? They're cool. Goofy as hell. But cool.
Lady, the my movie production has met a snag. namely ...my brain. But I'm trying. I'll get her done eventually. LOL! Neither am I a gentlewoman nor a scholar. I'm a salty, ill-manner, gal with a a slight brain deficiency. But thank you anyway.
Omar, sarcasm or not. It's good to see your happy round cheeks out and about again. Update your blog will ya? We're missin your cracker stories.
To the new higher1 and St. Francis, since this is my blog I humbly apologize to you for any false accusations that were made. Most of the time when I'm accused of something ....well, I actually did do it. BUT .... on those rare occasions when I was innocent, it did sting. So I'm sorry if you guys got stung and hope there's no continued hard feelings between you and anyone here.
Jane. Do you have any white-out? Oh. And I'm gonna need a really big brush.
Larry, that's some sound reasoning there. I was so heartbroken at the time I was just incapable of rational thought.
Check your shoes before you leave.
well that is a tragity. shes a frawd anyway.