Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Don't they every stay home?
As you know, I try to avoid senior day at the market. Why? Because they torture me. And I swear I think they do it on purpose now. What bugs me most is no matter what day I go, a bus load of the doddering, foot shufflers is there ahead of me.

The worst are the foreign seniors. Not only do they block isles but when they get to the produce, every single freshly grown fruit must be touched, poked, sniffed, and discussed loudly in a language that I don't have a clue about. However, I suspect what they are really saying is, "Five bucks says the redhead gives up on the fruit first." While the other lady answers, "You're on. I say it'll be the young man 3 people behind her."

OH and do NOT get me started on those stupid motorized carts. My heels are black and blue! If they aren't allowed to drive a motor vehicle on the street, how come they can get behind the wheel of one o'these foot mashers? And they drive together in horizontal rows! Like they're out for freakin stroll in an abandoned old lady park on a lovely spring day.

Then....then....we have the "excuse me dears". These are the ballsiest of all seniors. As you are reaching for the item of your choice (which takes 2 seconds to decide on for a normal thinking person) the excuse me dear will approach from behind, reach in front of you, say cheerfully, "Excuse me dear," and take what ever the hell they want. Sometimes up to 3 items. While you stand there ....waiting....and waiting. One lady got my hair caught in the gigantuan ring she wore. It took forever to get free of her. And I left behind a chunk of hair you could build a chihauhau with.

Well. No more! Today an "Excuse me dear", plows into me from behind with her motorized gimp maker and says...."Excuse me dear," as she tries to scootch her cart between me and my Great Grains cereal. Well by damn I was ready for her. I said, just as cheerfully, "Oh. I don't hardly think so, missy!" Yeah, I did it...and you know what? I LIKED it.
 
posted by Crabby at 5:07 PM |


12 Comments:


At 2/21/2006 5:48 PM, Blogger SignGurl

Don't even get me started!

I always feel sorry for them and wind up helping them decide which absorbency of Depends they need. I'm a sucker like that.

 

At 2/21/2006 6:12 PM, Blogger MilkMaid

AHAHaa.aa...this is the God's honest truth. This afternoon I stopped in at Kroger for a ten minute swipe thru, get the crap I NEEDED and get out. I was moving right along down the cereal isle, on MY SIDE and this old bitch in her motorized chair, RAMMED that bastard into reverse. Never looked back and sideswiped my cart all the way down.

She never said a word, whipped into the big isle at the end and took off.

I think they need Kroger Kops and give those biddies tickets or SOMETHING. Make em sweep the floors or clean out the bakery isle.

You know, where Tyler spills all the crumbs from his free snacks.

I feel your pain sistah!

 

At 2/21/2006 6:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous

Hmmmm, I would have thought you'd fit in just fine since you're a senior too?

Aren't all y'all over 30?

 

At 2/21/2006 6:39 PM, Blogger Crabby

Sign gurl, you are a good person. And honestly, sometimes I help them. But today....ah...today they ran me down one too many times.

Milky, that's exactly the kind of crap that keeps happening to me! What we need is a remote control that would operate their vehicles. oooooo. That could be so much fun.

 

At 2/21/2006 6:41 PM, Blogger Crabby

anon, yeah we're over 30 but we're not allowed to drive the carts. I mean, is this fair?

Wait. How do I know we can't drive the carts? I never tried. I am soooo goin after a leg crusher to drive myself. good you thought of this.

 

At 2/21/2006 9:03 PM, Blogger barman

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 

At 2/21/2006 9:07 PM, Blogger barman

Well just tonight I stopped by Meijer and I had an experience. I was at the pharmacy and some guy came flying at ... well lets put it this way, I think they should have used this guy as the NASCAR Daytona 500 pace car.

Although I am exagerating here I am not exagerating that I would have been seriously hurt if I had taken a step or two forward. If I had been hurt badly I would have sued the jerk and made Meijer no longer allow him on the cart and I really do not believe in sueing people.

Actually I am now thinking of complaining. Either Meijer needs to tame down those carts or police the people. I am all for the people being allowed get around on their own but only if they are safe.

By the way, I love the idea of a remote. I would have poped that bad boy into reverse and saw what happened. That or put it into a permanent right turn banging into the counter, over and over again until he could bahave himself.

(Sorry, cut and paste error - decided to delete comment and start over)

 

At 2/22/2006 2:10 AM, Blogger pkeclub

i would love for one day to be inside your head. just roam around in there so i can be inspired to the heights at which you bring the blog world to. really crabby , very funny. old people , you gotta love em

 

At 2/22/2006 2:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous

OMG How'd I missed this one yesterday??? My coworker was ranting about this ol' lady that made some grumpy comment to her. She didn't see the woman who had obviously stepped outa line waiting at the register (cuz she swears she wasn't there when she got there) made the comment "What, am I invisible today (with just the ugliest ol' grimace on her face)? My friend said she told her, Geeze ma'am, I'm sorry I didn't see you in line, and backed up to allow her in. To which the ol' gal stands there, mumbles some obscenities under her breath, still with her stone-like face...my friend said - keep on staring me down like that and I'm gonna do society a favor take you out a few days early (OMG - priceless!!).....this coming from a tiny (in stature) pregnant woman!

 

At 12/16/2006 2:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous

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