about
"What do you want us to do with your body when you die?" Bob asked. "Creamation or burial? If I creamate you I think I can save enough money to buy a big screen tv. I'll put your urn on top", he added, looking hopeful.
"Forget it, " I snapped back. "I'm not frying for anybody. And I don't wanna be buried either. It's too cold in the winter to just lay out there doing nothing."
We dickered back and forth over this with Bob continually coming back to the big screen tv and me continually nixing it. Until finally Bob came up with a plan I rather fancied. Taxidermy.
"We can have you mounted to your computer chair and prop you up in front of your computer."
"Do you promise to switch blogs off and on through the day so I can keep up with what's happening?" I asked, now getting excited for the first time since the discussion began.
"Well, no. I'm taking your computer. I was planning to put up a fake one in there. You won't be able to see it anyway. They'll use marbles for your eyes."
"WHAT????? WHY CAN'T I KEEP MY OWN EYEBALLS?"
"Ever smelled hamburger after it set out for a couple of days?"
This started a whole other argument.
Then Bob came up with this idea.
"We'll make a crabby doll with a screw off head. Creamate you and pour the ashes inside."
Once again I pointed out, "I don't wanna be TOASTED BOB!"
It has finally been decided that I would visit the taxidermist and he would create eyes that at least looked like mine. I keep my own computer (or I would haunt it mercilessly causing many crashes) and they sit me in my desk chair in
front of my puter. And I will be wheeled in the living room in front of the tv in time for American Idol and Suvivor. Then on weekends I will earn the money for Bob's big screen tv by taking a job as one of those people who stand (or in my case sit in a desk chair) on the corner holding "close out" sale signs.
This is a good plan.
At 2/24/2006 10:52 AM, 
josh williams
Hey I found you, I had to reload your page. As for the whole burial thing, cold cold ground. Me I want to be catapulted off into the sunset. If the authorities find my body then my body will be catapulted from the location where I landed, and then this until the authorities leave my grieving family alone.Job done thank you come again. JW
Denny, I am out of cash until next week. But I'll send that fiver to you soon as I have it.
Milky, LMAO. The idea of you being in control of my dead body, knowin' the trouble you've gotten me into with my live one ....
Waygon, Bob could never perform knowing the best he ever had was sitting there watching him.
Josh, great way to stay active after you're dead. I like it!
Justin, nice to see ya! Yep. I'm a planner. Sadly, most of them somehow land me in a crap pile but this one's good and solid.
teh chia, thanks! And welcome over. :)
Tumble, you are not pimpin out my dead body! Not even if you do dress me up in a red boa.
Wally, tsk tsk. American Idol is fun. Sopranos start March 12. Did ya know it? Sopranos rock!
Barman, I am nothing if not productive.
Sign gurl, I'll let you know.
At 2/24/2006 6:23 PM, FLAMINGO1
Crabby, let Bob have you cremated. It's for a big screen TV! You know that he would do the same for you.
If you skip the urn, he might be able to get TIVO, too.
By the way, your bio picture is pissing me off. I keep trying to make that picture bigger so I can get a better look, but it doesn't get any bigger.
C'mon, throw us a bone. Daddy needs his medicine!
bloodgod, I'm gonna have creepy Lola stuffed just to annoy all the family here. Nobody likes her. She has....issues.
Cap'n, I believe whipped cream would be lighter. Since Milky planning to carry me on and off planes I'll go with that. But no cherries for eyes. The dog would keep eating them. Hell, she'll probably chew the crap outa me anyway.
Flamingo, I can post my original but blogger would not let me download it until I cut it way back in size. It's not that special, trust me. Just me pretending to be a goofy super model.
And no toasting of the bod!
MEN! they all stick together. PAH!
spinning girl, if we go at the same time do you mind donating your legs to my taxidermied body before you fry?
Shanshu, I snorted milk up my nose.
Roxi, just don't dress me in pink. It's a sissy color. I have an image you know.
Cap'n! You wanna feed me to bunch of runny nosed youngins?
Matty, phew thanks for reminding me. No way do I wanna miss dinner just cause I'm dead.
Why do get the feelling my dead body is gonna be moved from state to state by various party bloggers? Actually, I don't mind so much if you guys share the brews. However, I absolutely draw the line at "Pin the tail on Crabby".
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Check your shoes before you leave.
CRAB...wake up!
We can make a killing with yer body, ala Weekend at Bernie's. I'll take you to all the Blog Meets.
ahahahaha..the image of me flying on a plane with your stuffed body sitting next to me, with feathered hat, dark sunglasses and a drink superglued into your hand just invaded my brain.
Stop distracting me, I'm working.