I have a lockable walk in closet in my master bedroom. The only way I might come even close to being ready would be to fill that sucker up to the celing, lock the door and lie that I lost the key. Even then I doubt I would make it.

My garage is in desperate need fo cleaning. I had all weekend and only managed to work on it 7 hours. I think I feel your pain Crabbs. I mean I can delay mine a little but I need to be parking in said garage before the snow comes.

By the way, butt vaccums, I thought butt vaccums only blew!

NO, however appraisers tend to look past the people clutter and only deal with the actual structure.

Another trick is to have someone else play the part of you for the day. Heck, they cannot snicker at you over a menu at a local eatery if they cannot idenify you as the owner of Hell.

Did you just say fuck twice?

Oh and we had ours apprased about 4 years ago, I was out of town and the THEN girlfriend of Big Kid came over to let him in. I was all FREAKED about it, she said he walked in the back door and out the front, took my check and said thank you very much. Never even went upstairs.

You'll do fine.

honey.. I have known for 2 months about this project and presentation I have to do on wed.. you think I have it done?

You're fucked. As a matter of fact, you're beyond fucked. If there was a new word for fucked I would use it here.............

Only kidding, ain't I a jokster?

They only look at the overall structure and most of the time they don't even do that.

Of course you could get the appraiser from hell, it is Halloween ya know!!!!

Milky, Crabbs would never day fuck twice... she said it THREE TIMES!

My one time I hired an appraiser they actually went into a little bit of effort and they came back with decent suggestions for the place before I bought it. The bank sent out someone when I actually bought it and I think they did everything from outside. I don't think things will be to bad, just don't leave the underwear lying around. :) Oh and by the way, the bank appraiser was a joke. They knew how much I was trying to finance and they said the house was worth $5,000 more. In actuallity the house was probably worth $15,000. They know who they work for. I bet the bank wants to lend the money and they will be more than happy to give you a passing grade.

By the way, no peeking in today. She must be in a true panic.

I am peeking in now. I got flustered and depressed and I needed few good friends. Luckily, you all were here. :)

I tell ya, there seems to be no end in sight. The more I clean up, the more crap I find that needs cleaned up.

I wonder... do you guys think a dead mouse under the basement stairs would hurt me or help me to get the loan? I'm currently negotiating with myself on how to pick it up. Have to say, I'm strongly leaning in favor of "with somebody else's hands".

Now see? THIS is why I never go down there. It's always either mutant spiders from hell, runaway snake, or an occasional dead mouse.

I am now at the point where I am loading my sweet new car up with trash and sneaking into various apartment dumpsters.

I know. I know. I'm a repulsive slob. A putter offer of monumental proportions.

K, I'm going back in. Lord help me, I have to get the mouse. Please please please, don't let there be any more. ick!

Ah the plant. OK, here is what I did. My plants kept growing like they were on steroids. If I did not cut them back at least once a month they over grew the love seat and started heading for the window. In three months they made it to the window. So I got tired of this and stopped watering them. They still grew like a weed. Finally I got rid of them and replaced them with fake ones. People are either very kind or they look real. Either way, no more care.

LOL! The only plants safe with me are the fake ones. I have a black thumb.

BTW. you guys, I have decided to cancel everything. I already cancelled my porch because after 2 months contractors hadn't even gotten back to us with bids. Now I'm cancelling the garage. At least for this year.

First, they asked us not to have the pool removed until after the appraisal. It's almost November folks. Kind of late in the year to continue to put things off, IMO.

Appaiser was supposed to call last week. Supposed to call today. Nothing. We're beating our heads against the wall getting ready and not even a call from them.

It's too much pressure when we are in the middle of so many other house projects right now. Just too much for anyone to ask of themselves.

So Bob and I have talked and we've agreed to cancel (postpone) all but pool removal and focus on getting what we already have here in shape.

Honestly, I can't handle the extra stress anymore. It's just been one thing after another and I'm calling uncle. LOL!

What in the heck is an appraisal?!!?
There must be another word for it in the UK lol.

Try distilled water with a couple drops of plant food on the plant.

It probably doesn't like the chlorine from the tap water.

PS--I think the UK INVENTED appraisals.

At least, I would think so listening to those snooty b@st@rds with the English accents on, "Antiques Roadshow."

Gareth, appraisel - a valuation of property by the estimate of an authorized person.

Basically what I believe was happening in this case is they wanted to borrow some money from the bank to make improvements on the house. The bank said we might lend you the money but first we need to see how much your house is worth as we will be using that as a guarantee on the loan. I think that is the general idea here.

` Not to make you feel bad, but my mom's boyfriend is really good at woodworking and fixing up the wreck of a house my dad built. He's put in a staircase so they can actually go into the basement, he's installed light fixtures so that the bare bulbs are not hanging from the ceilings, he is putting frames around doors and windows so that the insides of the walls are not showing, etc, etc....
` Though this is because he likes working on these things each day, and the sum of his projects have taken years.
` ...AND THEY STILL MAY NEVER SELL THE HOUSE!! Blasphemy you say? Nay!! It's because my dad won't take his name off the title, even though he's lived 2,000 miles away for the past six years!
` If it's not your own slacktivity, it's some screwball trying to make your life miserable!

Oh the poor inocent little house plant.

All the guy's going to do, is stand on one side of the room, aim his little lazer measuring thingy, and move on to the next room. However, the basement may make him run for the hills.

They usually ask you what you need it to appraise for, they can almost always make it work.

Can someone please explain what an appraiser is/does. I'm confused.

Suze, they do not do much. See my comment above.

They just say how much they feel the home is worth. They are people trained in knowing what to look for. So if you had termite damage that would probably be a big negative to the homes value.

If they are worth much they should do more but it depends. I had two done. One I requested, one by the bank. The one I requested went into detail about roof probably has another 8 to 12 years left before needing replacement, grade the property away from the house a little more, replace the sump with the next three years, etc, etc. The second one did his thing from the outside and said yep, the house is worth as much as you will be buying it for so. Then the bank said we will lend you the money.

You better pick up theat mouse post haste, even if you have to stick your hand in a plastic bag to do it. I found a dead one in my basement under a shelf only after the swarm of black flies that hatched in it started coming up through the radiator hole in the floorboard.

That was a fun weekend. I practiced my backhand with the fly swatter.

Gareth and Suze, Barman did a good job up above describing appraisals. I'd have to add that here in America they're mostly a joke. How it works is, the bank wants to give you money, but your home has to be worth X number of dollars to get the money. So...they send an appraiser out to look around and say yes or no if it is. And they almost always say yes cuz....they working with the bank! LOL!

Thing is...in our case, we don't want photos of our house in it's current transition mode floating around for some future buyer to see.

Mostly, to tell the truth, Bob and I have gotten to the point where all the house stuff and some other things have cause us to both have tension headaches and lose sleep. That's when you know it's time to back off and take a breather.

Zen, I bet you're right about the chlorine.

Seequin, that's awful! Not to mention damned vengeful. What a shame.

Manny, we looked at the one they did here when we bought the house. They plan to take pics all around the outside. Um....you haven't seen the big hole out back but....well...it's kind of on the homely side. LOL!

sigh. In my defense on that plant...I did keep it alive for 6 years which I'm pretty sure is a record for me. However, I'm joining barman and becoming a member of the "I am soooo not real" houseplant society.

Deb....EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Flies mean maggots. Maggots mean....I lose my appetite like...for a whole day! Now you watch, there WILL be more dead mice down there in boxes and other crap when I start cleaning. THIS is why I don't think the basement should be a "me by myself" job. I need somebody else to be down there with me, following with a bottle of anything, boozy.

Yes, that was horrid but insects of all types and arachnids have issues with me. Most of the spiders are in my van and not in the basement.

Don't look at me Crabbs. I would do almost anything for you but if the miceseses are alive than I do not want to be around. I hate how fast they are. Other than that I could hadle almost anything.

Oh I found a nice little mouse hole in the garage. I think that is next on my list of things to do while cleaning.

If you ask me, that plant reinforces that you are the same kind of horticulturalist that I am. We have a brown thumb!

PICTURES?????