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Thursday, August 02, 2007
I love my dog. But, she's whacked. Truly.
She will NOT go outside to potty unless I stand in the door where she can see me. And some days that's not good enough. It used to be just at night. And I used to think she was afraid of the raccoons and the foxes and things. But now, it's during the day too.
Today she took 2 steps into the yard, turned back, whimpered and waited for me to assure her I'd stay put till she was finished.
I'm a busy woman! I can't stand there and watch her pee every time she has to go. What's wrong with this dog?
I've tried explaining to her that she's a 100 pounds of viscious canine and doesn't need to fret.
I've tried pointing out she has teeth much bigger than mine.
I've even thrown sticks which she normally can't resist. But if she can't see one of us in the doorway, she'll come racing back.
It's offical. Every pet I have ever had has had....issues.
Smilin George humped his bunny till it was so stiff nobody wanted to touch it to put it in the wash.
Creepy Lola was, humpbacked, toothless, ate poop, and till the day she died mothered a latex chipmunk like it was a pup.
And Webster, well, he's just evil. Evil! Not to mention his butt is always hangin' out of his feathers because every time he starts to get a tail, he eats it!
And now Lucy who already sits and begs for paper napkins like they're milkbones, chases her tail till she's dizzy and will fetch a stick even if you throw it out a 7th story window....won't go to the bathroom unless I am clearly visible. I need a doggie shrink. And a bird exorcist.
PS. We tried to teach Webster to say, "Who's yer Daddy?" Know what he says? "Who's yer birdie?" Self-centered little butt barer, isn't he?
EEEK! I'm underlining and I don't know how to stop. Milkmaid! STOP PLAYING WITH THAT HOSE AND GET BACK HERE. I SCREWED UP AGAIN!
ME
Signgurl
Gabby
Vote for all of us. We all need it. And Sign said she'll whore herself out for all 3 of us. So did G-man. (I am not making it up. Trusssst me)
and in all fairness to our other top tens....do yourselves a favor and go check out, "Slick Sumbitch" and "15 minute lunch". Both of these fellas are awesome!
She will NOT go outside to potty unless I stand in the door where she can see me. And some days that's not good enough. It used to be just at night. And I used to think she was afraid of the raccoons and the foxes and things. But now, it's during the day too.
Today she took 2 steps into the yard, turned back, whimpered and waited for me to assure her I'd stay put till she was finished.
I'm a busy woman! I can't stand there and watch her pee every time she has to go. What's wrong with this dog?
I've tried explaining to her that she's a 100 pounds of viscious canine and doesn't need to fret.
I've tried pointing out she has teeth much bigger than mine.
I've even thrown sticks which she normally can't resist. But if she can't see one of us in the doorway, she'll come racing back.
It's offical. Every pet I have ever had has had....issues.
Smilin George humped his bunny till it was so stiff nobody wanted to touch it to put it in the wash.
Creepy Lola was, humpbacked, toothless, ate poop, and till the day she died mothered a latex chipmunk like it was a pup.
And Webster, well, he's just evil. Evil! Not to mention his butt is always hangin' out of his feathers because every time he starts to get a tail, he eats it!
And now Lucy who already sits and begs for paper napkins like they're milkbones, chases her tail till she's dizzy and will fetch a stick even if you throw it out a 7th story window....won't go to the bathroom unless I am clearly visible. I need a doggie shrink. And a bird exorcist.
PS. We tried to teach Webster to say, "Who's yer Daddy?" Know what he says? "Who's yer birdie?" Self-centered little butt barer, isn't he?
EEEK! I'm underlining and I don't know how to stop. Milkmaid! STOP PLAYING WITH THAT HOSE AND GET BACK HERE. I SCREWED UP AGAIN!
MESigngurl
Gabby
Vote for all of us. We all need it. And Sign said she'll whore herself out for all 3 of us. So did G-man. (I am not making it up. Trusssst me)
and in all fairness to our other top tens....do yourselves a favor and go check out, "Slick Sumbitch" and "15 minute lunch". Both of these fellas are awesome!
Labels: crazy dog, evil bird, frustation, milkmaids colon
posted by Crabby at 12:45 PM | 
12 Comments:
That underline thing... sometimes you have to go into Edit HTML mode to fix when things start looking funny. You are just better off with underlines however.
You best break Lucy of this need of hers now before the winter gets here. It's to cold to have to head outside so she can do her thing.
Maybe you can print a giant Crabby picture and put it in the door when ever Lucy goes outside.
Check your shoes before you leave.
I leave for a little while come back and get to look at someones colon... ewww.. How have you been and are you still driving that scion... Miss the porche yet...I/O