about
I call to a jury of my peers to hear the facts and cry "The Crab is Innocent, by damn!"
Now look closely at this photo. Would you drink this milk? Never mind the obvious smell. Just look at it. Does it look particularly appealing?
Come with me for a moment to listen in on a conversation from yesterday all ready in progress.
Me: Oh pleeease, Bob! I do not abuse you.
Jake: You use us for your entertainment. That's abuse.
Me: Not your business, Jake!
Bob: What about the time you let me drink spoiled milk?
Me: That was over 10 years ago? Are you still riding that old horse? Besides, how could I know you were going to drink it?
Bob: You saw me pour it in the glass.
Me: Well, didn't you notice that it was kinda lumpy?
Bob: Obviously not. I rely on you to keep the food in our house safe. How could I know you were drinking the fresh milk and putting the old milk in front of it?
Me: Well, I wasn't gonna drink the lumpy stuff. DOH!
Bob: Why did you keep the old milk?
Me: YOU TOLD ME NOT TO THROW ANY MORE FOOD AWAY!
Jake: ahhhh. There it is. She was teaching you a lesson. That's why she let you drink it.
Bob: Yep.
Me: For cryin out loud, didn't you notice it stank? Don't you have any sense of smell.
Jake: Mom, he's been smelling your cooking for years. Spoiled milk probably smells like desert to him after that.
Ok people. I put it in your capable hands. Let's decide this thing once and for all. Am I responsible for Bob drinking rotten milk? huh? huh? I think not.
Labels: false accusations, rotten milk
WHAT????
turncoat! Benedict, manny!
Who swallows lumpy milk, huh? It's not even the same color anymore after it goes bad for cryin out loud. There's that clear yellow liquidy stuff and the thick cottage cheese looking stuff and they don't even associate with each other in the carton. they're totally segragated! How can anybody miss that?
I am not sure whose side I am on. Bob's because you set a trap or your's because how could you miss that the milk was spoiled unless it was only juts turned then maybe.
That settles it, next time I visit I am bringing bottled water! Maybe even my new 5 gallon container. We have to have some for Lucy after all.
At 8/04/2007 2:43 PM, 
Kingcover
It's totally your fault Crabby. I do have to agree with your husband and son. Just because you didn't manage to poison Bob on that occasion doesn't give you the right to try to blame it on him for drinking it because afterall if you had succeeded in your mission to bump him off you wouldn't have to go through this scenario every day since. Over and over and over and over ....... hehehehehehehe ;-)
I have tagged you on my blog and you had better enjoy it. Darn it! :D
At 8/05/2007 8:07 AM, Bob
Although that's a true story... i'd like to point out that the picture is not the actual "same" milk. The container I drank out of was not swollen yet or obviously bad.
She really was drinking from a fresh container and leaving the expired one in front. It all happened real fast that day when I got home from a hard day at work ->
1) get glass
2) pour milk into glass
3) take big drink of ice cold milk
4) lump of nasty milk in throat
5) GAG IN SINK
BTW - She does the same thing with EVERYTHING we eat. If something looks a little strange, it quietly gets placed on my plate.
I counted five boxes of open cereal (same brand) in the pantry once. She kept opening new ones after picking out the crunchy nut hunks that she likes. Leaves the other boxes in front for someone else to eat (GUESS WHO!!).
Manny takes my side because she has seen the abuse first hand for years.
gabby, kiss kiss kiss. THANK YOU! I knew I could count on an innocent vote from you.
G-man, I did feed the guys old aspargus a couple weeks ago. I myself, did not partake of the veggie that night. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha!
Kingcover, stop sucking up to Bob and Jake! Right now!
Um...about that tag...I'll get on that soon as I finish that last one you gave me. LOL! You KNOW I never remember to do those things. They're like homework or something. Ya have to think.
Buddah, It made me throw up a little in my mouth just watching him. LOL!
ebezp, thank you! I owe you one.
Manny, we all got together and decided it would be fun to give you big ole spelling test. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha! Now wait. If you get every word right, you don't have to go to chinese buffet anymore. Just cheap Mexican all the time.
Milky, I bet you're gonna stop saying that. Cause bob is now posting annnnd.... he just took one of my cameras to use and he and Jake are cooking something up. betcha before they're done you'll be saying poor Crab. PAH! I'm innocent!
Nick! bbbbbut....NUH UGH! LOL!
Dan, me too. I don't believe I can ever drink milk again. I've been traumatized.
BOB! This is what you do when I'm getting ready for church? I am aghast!
Ok...a. when you poured the milk from carton to glass, didn't you notice it made a plopping noise????
and b. You "like" the flakes so it's just practical for me to eat the nut clumps and leave the flakey stuff for you.
and d. I like my food to look really good. It's a personal preference thing. You and Jake never seem to mind much what your food looks like so I give you guys the less attractive stuff. Then everybody's happy. See?
phlegmafatale. Dumb as a tater. ahhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha! Nice one. Thanks for coming by. (I hope you feel better soon.)
AHHHH AH AH AH AH I do the same thing. Only I'm single so no one has to eat the spoiled food.
I pick all the nut and oat clusters out of a box of cereal.
I also dig the good stuff out of the ice cream and leave the rest of the carton untouched in my freezer for a year or better.
Hey Crab, would you like an ice cream cone?
At 8/05/2007 5:42 PM, Cazzie!!!
THAT THERE AINT ROTTEN MILK...that there is NATURAL YOUGHURT!!!
The Greeks used to, and some still do, sit milk in a glass jar in the window sill in the sun, covered with some cloth to stop the flies landing in it. The result is not off milk but natural yoghurt..and there you have it.....education at the hands of Nurse Cazzie!!!
At 8/07/2007 11:14 AM, cadbury_vw
it was perhaps a little mean to teach him a lesson that way, but anyone that can't figure out milk is bad deserves what they get - well, any adult anyway - kids are dimwitted
and as for "I rely on you to keep the food in our house safe"
that's fucking sexist - or at least disinterested bullshit
he doesn't have a brain or a share in the responsibility for throwing out bad food?
excuses
Check your shoes before you leave.
Desert. LOL It's your fault.
I once let a gallon of milk go bad and waited until the jug expanded like a balloon before throwing it out.