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What you see in this photo is what I like to call, "The Death Paddle". It's a hand held bug zapper people. That's right. Now you can not only smoke little buzzing pests, you can pummel-roast them! Bob got two of these little beauties for his birthday.
As the nine of us, (4 impressionable children, 4 adults, and one idiot) sat around admiring the electric gnat bats, the question was asked..... "I wonder what that feels like?" It may have been the sign pasted directly on the racket that reads, "do not touch while red light is on", that prompted the query. I'm not sure. I can tell you that every man there suggested the other one .... put his finger in it. At one point, Jake picked it up, turned it on, and held his finger in front of it as the small children cried out..."DO IT, UNCLE JAKE! DO IT!" But try as he might, he could not knowingly electrocute his own finger.
After listening to the men taunt each other, watching one after another hold the thing and chicken out, I could take no more. "Oh, give it here, ya cowards!" I snatched it, flipped the electrocution switch and stuck my finger in. "Pah! It doesn't do anything, " I told them.
"You have to slip your finger through the protective wires," the men informed me, encouragingly.
"Wet your finger first!" Jake instructed.
I'm not stupid. No way was I gonna' wet my finger and stick it into what essentially is an electric socket of sorts. No sir. My digit was dry when I slipped her through the protective outer layer into the meat of the device.
The first thing I noticed as sparks flew wildly from the tip of my finger was intense searing pain, followed by the smell of burning flesh. Then suddenly...one of the little kids cried....GRANDMA YOUR FINGER IS SMOKING! I literally had to race to the kitchen and turn on the faucet to put my finger fire out. (btw....somebody had left the tap on hot)
As the entire room guffawed hysterically at my discomfort Jake looked at me with grudging admiration and said, "I can't believe you did that. That's the kind of stuff those guys on Jackass do. You could be on Jackass! Ok. Now stick your tongue in."
Go here to vote Crabby to a win in her final competition for best blog. It's now or never folks because I won't be running again.
I can't get to the blog interview site. When I try I get the following message. "It doesn't look like you've installed WP yet. Try running install.php."
Mails to Mike bounce back to me and yet I get his updates on "new" blog interviews just fine. Several people have told me they can get to the site and vote for anyone but me or Sign. Others have gotten through. I don't know what the deal is but it's obviously hurting any chance I had in this thing. Frankly considering this is the second time that site has cost me votes, I'm becoming more than a little annoyed.
Labels: electrocution, finger, fire, jackass, smoking
At 8/21/2007 9:55 AM, 
Bob
OMG, I decided to read this at lunch and ... I almost laughed out loud. I could not help myself.
Crabby, you know no one has your best interst at heart except maybe Lucy if she is hungy or wnats something.
Are you sure this was not Bob trying to collect the life insurance?
I love the picture to go with it. You are just to much. See, it is things just like this that makes me believe you are one of if not the best blogs around. Whoot.
Miss, I'm really liking this new avatar or yours.
Lavender, they are, huh?
I don't know where A gets this stuff. But I'll ask her for you. Somehow she manages to find all kind of cool things.
Slick, oh yea. I need my tongue for eating. No way I'd risk damaging that baby.
TC, That's pretty much how I look in the morning before coffee anyhow so it was an easy visual to get. LOL!
BT, if you put yours in first...I'll put mine in. Honest. You can trust me. (if Bob says otherwise, don't listen to him.)
Lime, I bet you would. LOL! So, did you ever touch it to see what it felt like? I used to use my little sister to test stuff like that till she got big enough to put up a fight.
Bob, you know that was justified. I had to make sure it wouldn't hurt her too much and Jake wouldn't sit still so I could get it on him.
Barman, how did you and milky get up above me? That was wiley.
Thank you for the compliment. You know I live for those. (and I'm not kidding. Ask Bob. LOL)
Milky, am not!
Cat, I KNOW! That's what I thought. LOL!
Gab, I'm 130 votes behind with 9 days left. The question is, what won't I do for votes. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Lookie what I found... The same type of zapper that Crabby is modeling.
Shanshu, I think everybody should have at least one. Works real well on those days when you just can't wake up in the morning. A quick finger in the wire and ZAP you are up!
Barman, you mean it has two protective wire coverings instead of one? That would be a booger to get your finger back out of quickly.
Josh, you're welcome. But I'm warning you, it packs a wallop.
Nick, um....nnnnn. no. Probably not.
Yea, voting is back at least for me. But it was down this morning. He is going to get angry people if the site keeps being unreliable like that. I say unreliable because there never seems to be a warning when they are making changes that take the site down. Maybe it is there but I have not noticed it. Do that several time and that to me constitutes and unreliable service.
Curly, glad I could help but it's Amy that finds the good stuff. I don't know how she does it but she does.
Tell him not to stick his finger in it. Truly.
Barman, I think he's over-loading his site with all the ads. Too many things going on over there for it to work efficiently. People are getting angry already. I've got the mails to prove it. Mostly because they felt it sucked that Sign and I were the only ones that couldn't be voted for. Not exactly a fair race.
Milky, suuuurrre. I'll fix your wings. C'mere. snip snip.
I gotta admit, I'm more than a little ticked off.
First of all, there was supposed to be an in-depth interview with the top 3. I even agreed to do a web cam interview. That would have created more votes for me. That never happened.
The free gifts for random comments has been replaced with yet another ad.
Most folks in the mid-west can not vote for me. This I know for a fact and can back up with numerous e-mails from angry people.
The site has become one big commercial ad after another, and it's hanging up his site. As a result the voting has been skewed badly and Sign and myself are the ones suffering the consequences.
Milky, I swear...if you gave out 66 thumbs up and it wasn't for me (which it isn't cause people CAN'T FRIGGIN VOTE FOR ME, MIKE!) I'm gonna hunt you down and feed you one of my Wednesday experiment meals.
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA!
(least that would make Bob happy cause he wouldn't have to eat it)
Ah, well. Guess I better get back to work. I've made zero progress so far.
Check your shoes before you leave.
You crack me up!