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Being 56 I am closer to the good old dirt nap than many (most) of you. Which combined with menopausal mood swings, causes a person to ponder some stuff. And some times it just plain pisses me off.
Today's menopausal bitch-rant is .... Obituaries.
Why do we have to drop dead to get a mention in the local paper? I'm just sayin....if you're dead, do you give a shit? NO!
Why does that final farewell ad focus on what you died of and who survived you? Who cares? Dead is dead. Did ya do anything first besides serve in the army or be a mother and wife? Did ya like cheap Mexican food? Did cabbage give ya gas? Where's the person in the obit??? huh? Who was she/he? Surely a person does more than marry and birth babies!
To make things worse soon as the service is over people are poking through your underwear drawer looking for cash or hidden treasures. If I start feeling ill, you can bet your buns there will be a loaded mouse trap set in mine. See how they like that treasure. PAH!
My feeling here is, if you're that crazy about a person, spend some friggin time with them. Take them to lunch. Send a note and tell them they matter. Or buy the poor sap a computer so they can blog and say it all themselves.
That's right. Blogs are important because it is the only way we get to say, HelllOOOOOO! I'm here. I'm living. I have ideas running through my head. It's a shot at getting some recognition before we croak. Unless of course you get yourself mugged, or jump off a building and survive. So write those blogs. Go on! Get off your butt and go write something for yourself! Or run naked down main street. Be remembered! You matter! Each and every one of you.
I'm in a foul flippin mood.
OO OO...and here's another question....how come we call 'em hemorrhoids and not asteroids. Call it what it is for craps sake!
DOES ANYBODY HERE HAVE CHOCOLATE?????
ANYONE? Hate menopause. hate it. hate it. hate it.
Far as this voting thing goes, I'm not feeling comfortable asking you folks to keep voting over and over. Course I would like you to but, I so completely understand if you are bone weary of the whole deal. You all will be just as important me if you vote or don't. So if you think this blog is worthy of a number one spot and 50 smackers VOTE HERE.
And if you just plain don't wanna, a-ok with me, kids. No worries. It's not why I come to visit, promise. And it's not why I do the "blog thing". I just plain enjoy it. That's all.
Labels: importantce of blogs, obituaries, traps in underwear
Insideout, dude. Me too on the cabbage thing! It's the most hideous aroma ever to visit earth. And that particular gas is the most hideous aroma ever to visit earthlings. Let me know before you head down 1st street. I'll need a fresh tape for the video camera.
Iris, you got it. But...and I am sooo afraid to ask, but .......what have you done now?
Shanshu, blue may be more important even than blogging. LOL!
Manny, what couch? I'm in my office. I don't have a couch in here. I "do" have a vibrating chair. bwaaaaaaaaaaa ha hahaha ha!
Pecos, it's true, huh? How else can you meet so many cool people in one place?
Lime, yeah, but...I can't do fishlips like you. LOL! You are the Queen of the fishlip face!
Rock on Crabby!
Blogs are great, oh yes an absolute pain at times but I would far rather surround myself with blog friends than those in real life.
Blog friends will also not be the (first) ones to root through your drawers (!) and write a sloppy obit.
Though what sort of friends ignore the screams of a menpausal woman screaming for CHOCOLATE?!
At 8/07/2007 4:54 PM, 
cathouse teri
You send me your address and I'll send you some chocolate! I'm right behind ya, babe, on the menopausal train and I'm in one fuckin' foul mood myself! Walked out of a restaurant last night because the man (-ager) seating us asked my guest (who was in front of the procession) to hurry and order within five minutes. What the hell is that?
As for obits, entirely useless. I agree. Spend time with people while they are alive. I don't care where you plant me. In fact, I'd much prefer becoming dust right away, rather than letting the creatures help bring that to pass. I've fed enough of God's creation whilst I was alive!
What I hate is that, when you go to a funeral, all of a sudden people who are complete assholes were the best people who ever lived.
Okay, fine. Now I'm all stirred up again.
*deep breath*
(No voting here. It's against my own personal religion.)
Good move on the voting. That is not what blogging is all about. I suppose tossing out some interesting comments might help bring some people back. I think once people look around, a majority will stay. You like to have fun here. Now this is not your think bloggers place (no I do not mean that in a bad way) so to some it may be not thier cup of tee but oh well.
The obits are rediculous. I love it when they say all the wonderful things about a person and you are sitting there saying who are they talking 'cause it sure was not that jerk. People are all so fony at that time. You know, if you want and you are going to be burried, we probably could make a grand final jester. How about we put you right at the top on your tummy. That will allow people a nice bike rack should they ever choose to visit.
Oh by the way, love your idea about the underware drawer. Oh and I would look foolish running naked down main street. I am sure I would only get abouty 40 feet before I would have to put on shoes and than that would just look silly.
Now that I caught up on email (what did you guys do?) and this I think it is time to head home.
At 8/07/2007 6:00 PM, GAB
At 8/08/2007 7:39 AM, Curly Glamour Girlie
The best remedy for crazy hormones (one of my chemo drugs put me into false menopause, so I feel your pain) is chocolate covered, peanut butter filled pretzels from Trader Joes. I'm not sure if you have a Trader Joes by you, but those are the best fix.
They're working pretty good on the pregnancy hormones too! ;)
ebezp, good point about the bloggers not rooting through your drawers! Hadn't thought of that one. LOL! Sayyy, is that chocolate in that link? oh boy oh boy.
Cat, this menopause thing bites the big one. I'm not loving it one bit. LOL! I get meaner than a spitting cobra.
And YES! those funeral visitors who all of a sudden can't say a bad word about the dead person even though they treated them like crap when they were alive. HATE 'EM! We have one and I can't stand her! What a freak!
Barman, you don't think this is a thinkin' blog? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha! Yuh huh! Is too so! I'm highly intellectual and stuff.
If my sit-upon is face up at my service...I'm gonna come lookin for you, my brother. And you won't see me coming cause I'll be a haint. LOL!
Gab, the hot flashes aren't coming so much since I started the mild hormones. But...I do get meaner than crap once a month or so. And what scares me is....I like it.
Iris, I hope I have your figure when I'm 102. Can you leave it to me in your will? I was kicked out of my grandmothers. (so was manny) LOL!
Sign, at least you read it.
wait.
you didn't read it, did you? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha!
Cat, I like it! I want one! LOL!
Milky, get your butt back here and read every word I wrote. Especially the ones that have more than 5 letters. Read those twice.
Curly, I have a Trader Joes not 5 minutes from here. OH I'm soooo going! That sounds great!
Perhaps my obit should read, "She was a vegetarian..." That would be a very subtle way to get to the gas thing...
And I remember the doctor who told me (when I figured I must be about done with menopause), "Oh, hot flashes go on for at least fifteen years." FIFTEEN YEARS?!?! I strangled her and then felt quite a bit better.
Check your shoes before you leave.
Alright, seems I am taking my life in my hands by commenting "ready to duck just incase" Cabbage does give me gas and it is the gas that offends animals and people alike. Set rat traps (the grande kind that snap small sticks) in the drawers.... enough said. I'M off to jog naked down 1st street (call me a rebel), and then I will Blog darn-it...I/O