about
FIRST!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
TO MY PAL
MILKY
WHO PUTS UP
WITH A
LOT
FROM ME.
kiss kiss kiss kiss.
We are gazelles in jungle full of hyenas and lions, people.
Now, I'm willing to overlook a boat load of misdeeds, having a nice little stack of my own piled up in every closet. But there is one thing I will defend and protect with gnashing teeth. My money!
Yesterday at the market.
Standing there, intently pondering the Asian sauces, from the corner of my eye there is movement to my left. I glanced down instantly and see a hand bedecked with enough rings and bracelets to sink a cruise ship, reaching for my purse!
"OH HELL, NO!" I declared, smacking the bejeweled hand away. Six of my dollars were in that purse and a 2 for one coupon for Hollywood video, by damn!
Ready to take further action if required to protect and defend my treasures I plant my feet wide and take a first good look at my opponent. She's like....SEVENTY!
"Is that your handbag?" the old con asks nervously. (well, DOH lady!)
"It looks just like mine," she continued.
The bags didn't look anything alike but I pretended to give the old sting artist the benefit of the doubt. I even apologized for smacking her hand. But you can bet the rest of the time I spent shopping, one eye stayed on the bag, and one on that old lady.
PAH! Take my six bucks, I'll kick your butt six ways from Tuesday, woman. I don't care how old you are.
Speaking of old. Would ya look at this? Wonder how many guys got their eyes poked out back then?
Labels: Old lady abuse, pointy boobs, purse snatching
barman, I told you not to get your face that close. Didn't I?
Wize, I found those photos under the same category and couldn't resist. LOL!
insideout, that's what it was. A cover. Bet she used eggwhites or something to wrinkle up her skin. She's probably 20. LOL!
Milky, I think we have to make little teepees and then sew them together. OOOOOO. Let's do it! I dare you to make one and video tape yourself walking through the store in it. (I called it first so you go first)
The old gal deserved it. Iris will take my side. All I have to do is tell her the woman looked just like Ethel. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha.
At 8/09/2007 11:13 AM, 
Iris VonKornea
AND BY THE WAY, that is exactly how I looked when I worked at the bank in my younger days... back when breast support was an actual, bonafide work requirement. I found that if any young hooligan stared at my bosums, I could move forward and poke his perverted eyes out.
Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Good Lord! It takes all kinds...maybe she needed money to buy cat food for her dearly departed pussy cat. After all we had a woman one block over who used to have cats buteven after they all died she was still buying cat food...to eat herself! EW.
Are those boobs....pointed???
I guess back then they were pretty stiff. LOLOLOLOLOLOL
Iris, how bad do you want me to rough her up for ya? You want anything broken? Or just bruised. I do either with one swing of my powerful 56 year old buttocks.
You know the fallen boobs aren't sooo bad. They come in handy every now and then. Like...say you drop one of the many pills that we over 50 folks take to stay alive and you can't find it? One sweeping walk across the kitchen floor will generally turn it up.
Gabby, they are indeed pointed. You know I wasn't gonna say but once when Bob was 15 and I was 14 I wore one of my Mom's bras. Really pointy thing. He had an old Honda 50 motorcycle at the time and we went everywhere on it. Every time he'd stop...I'd poke him in the back. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Suze, Arsenic and Old Lace??? That was the best movie!
Cat, I wasn't carrying the purse. It was perched in my cart because I always carry that blasted camera in there and I don't want my chesticles to get lopsided. LOL! So it was an easy shot for someone to snatch. Unfortunately for this old gal, I was deep into the throes of menopausal maddness. Which pretty much turns me into a combination of Rambo and the creature from Alien.
At 8/09/2007 2:49 PM, Zen Wizard
I must admit, the first breasts I ever fantasized about were those Polaris missile jobs--they were simply inescapable in the early 60's.
There was an Archie knockoff comic called, "Junior"--the guys who drew that were like the Rembrandts of missile tits.
I am not a psychologist, but I think it would be something along the lines of a Freudian death wish, like: "The instrument that gives you pleasure can also pierce your heart," or something.
Whatever--Jayne Mansfield sure had that look down...
At 8/12/2007 7:55 PM, Mouthy Girl
Holy moly! She tried to lift your goods...and played dumb, to boot!
Amazing shit, I tell ya.
As for the boobies...JAYSUS. I've got some boobs. But mine will never be cone-shaped. Can you imagine shimmying something like those suckers into a cashmere sweater? *shaking head* That would undoubtedly be a waste of good money!
Check your shoes before you leave.
I do not blame you. If we go out to a restaurant and split a bill I will not be figuring it down to the penny. But if you are going to be trying to take my money away from me no mater how little it may be, not going to go well.
Oh and what pointy things. I can't see for some reason.