about
You ladies ever get one of these cards? Didn't think so. In fact, just this morning, Jake, the fruit of Bob's loins, said to me and I quote:
"PMS IS JUST ANOTHER REASON FOR WOMEN TO BITCH."
I am in menopause. My mood swings make Sybil look like an under achiever. I'm not a morning person, and hadn't finished my first cup of coffee yet. It is my firm belief that not pummeling thee living hell outa Jake this morn is my "bought and paid for ticket" into heaven. Which happily means I can scratch "make sure you're getting into Heaven," off my todo list.
But .... it gets better. When Bob arrived at the table I told him what Jake said, waiting for his sympathetic response. (NOT REALLY!) And he adds, "Every man knows that 10 days out of every month a woman is going to be a complete bitch."
ARRRRRRRRRRRRGH! He's been reading Slicks blog too long. LOL!
On behalf of women everywhere, let me just tell you fellas, you DO have your crotchity moments. Oh yeah. You do.
Around here it's when Bob can't find something. The longer he looks the more annoyed he becomes. Most of the time he accuses me of either hiding it from him, or tossin it out. 8 out of 10 times, the object in question can be found right in front of his face. All he had to do was move something off the top of it.
And don't EVEN get me started on backseat driver nagging. Jake is the WORST back seat driver in the history of back seat drivers. I swear to you every five seconds it's..... watch out for that car up there ..... curb! ....... you're going to have to stop up here ...... now .... slow down ....... you wanna turn here, don't forget your turn signal. NAG NAG NAG! Bob is almost as bad, which is why I refuse to drive with either 0f them in the car.
My feeling ....woman have a damned good reason to get bitchy. We are innocent victims to our hormones. Let a guy suffer the agony of sore, swollen breasties and see how well he takes it. PAH! He'd walk around holding onto his boobs, howling like a moose with it's balls caught in a bear trap.
Men, obviously, get testy for no reason at all. I mean, Yeegads! They're blessed to have us! Every man should drop on his knees right now and say....Thank you for my woman!
BTW. I don't know who's doing all the voting over there at bloginterviewer but.....SWEEEEET! You guys rock! I wanted you all to know that just because I stopped bugging you for votes doesn't mean I don't appreciate the hell out of them and each of you! Thank you so much for supporting me and my goofy Cowpie Field.
Labels: back seat driving, bitch bumper sticker mullet hormones, nagging, PMS
At 9/28/2007 6:25 PM, 
GAB
Ahhh yes... the mood swings. When I had my surgery to remove all my female parts....The doctor warned Mr Gab that one minute I'd be happy as a lark the next crying and the next madder than heck. Good thing the doctor warned him cause good grief I was a mess. I know what you mean, when you say its right in front of their faces Mr Gab does that often and he too gets crankier and crankier the longer he cant find something and of course I get the blame for the dang thing gone missing! And your WELCOME!
At 9/29/2007 2:10 AM, Vi
Not being able to find things is a man thing. I take mental pictures of where things are and remember. Actually that is a crock of crap, I have to look for things all the time, but they are NOT right under my nose.
I hate backseat, sideseat or otherwise sassy passengers. I carry duct tape under my seat and I'm not afraid to use it
wow you had me worried, when I came to your blog yesterday it was completely blank except for the title and your profile pic, no posts, link nothin..same with manny's.
I thought there was something terribly wrong with manny well other than her being an ant stomping man eating NUT!
Sending her and you my HUGS
tc
At 9/29/2007 10:28 AM, Spoony Quine
` Haaaa haaaa! Like a moose with his balls caught in a bear trap! They would, wouldn't they?
` I don't hold my breasties, though, I have other people to do that. Who are men. ...I also have sports bras.
` As for the not being able to find stuff... why not really throw some of his stuff out? That way he won't have to worry about it!
Glad you got the card I sent Crabby!!
You are absolutely right you know and I may not make any friends by saying this but it is widely believed that mens moods go in similiar cycles as well, without the obvious signs and symptoms.
Before you have a go at your womenfolk guys stop and think - is it really about 25 days since I felt like that myself!!
At 9/29/2007 4:53 PM, Spoony Quine
` You know, my PMS while on hormone treatment is something that convinced a therapist of mine that I had bipolar disorder!
` But now... check it out! I was running around like a half-naked superhero for ten hours during PMS! And I didn't even get pissy!
` Isn't that amazing?!?!
Barman, I doubt any man, anywhere, anytime, has ever sent that card cause "that" would make the 6:00 news. LOL!
Manny, are you siding with Bob and Jake again?
wait ..... what's that sound? Oh look. How cute! Lucy's eating another page of your Christman list again. bwaaaaaaaaaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha!
Gab, LOL! I particularly enjoyed the, "your welcome" ending to your comment. LMAO!
Little Wing, wait'll you see what I did this weekend! I'm soooo smitten.
vi vi vi voom, thanks for comin' by. I paid you a visit too and gave you a vote. I've met a couple of really cool people through blog interviewer. For me that's a better prize than the money, cause they're so much fun. I've also met some real snoots. bleck. I know all bloggers are full of themselves (cept me a'course) but .... DANG! LOL!
Dooz, um ... about that duct tape. I mighta borrowed it. Unless you get ticked when you find it missing then .... Milky did it. But we'll get you a new roll right after the bank heist.
TC, I think blogger is revamping or something. I have all kinds of new junk behind the curtain. Unless it's old and my short term memory kicked off again.
Lime, you know, it's really classy the way you take the high ground and don't name, names. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha!
Milky, Mullet? ...... oh wait. I get it. It's the weekend. You've been at the bar, huh. How's your head today? AM I TALKING TOO LOUD? I'M GONNA OPEN THESE BLINDS. YER BURNIN DAYLIGHT. I'VE GOTTA SPAM OMELET COOKIN ON THE STOVE JUST FOR YOU!
Seequin, just between you and me .... the tool portion of the stuff may have accidentally ended up in my personal tool box. Not sayin it did. Not sayin it didn't.
Nick. LOL! You're bad.
Ebezp, THANK YOU! I swear they do have their moments even if they don't believe it.
Brighton, seriously? I would have thought that would stop all of it. See? We're damned either way. We deserve some kinda special PMS day with gifts for all our suffering.
********************************
I go away for one day on the weekend, come back and Barman is trying to borrow Seequin's nipples.
Is there anything else I should ........ who's that sleeping under my table? WHO BROUGHT THE MONKEY?
Check your shoes before you leave.
I didn't send that card to you, did I? Hope not.
Some women elevate being bitchy to an art form. But like you pointed out, Women AND MEN all have their moments. And if men had breasties you know they would walk around holding on to them. Oh wait, I don't think that was your point.
Bob and Jake should know better. The deserve what ever they get.