Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Thanks to Jane, I have uncovered my stalker's true purpose! (thank you, Jane).

The stalker (see two posts below to catch up with the rest of us) ....crap where was I? Ok. do-over.

The stalker, a.k.a. annonymous, is after our best body parts. In my case chesticles and vocal cords. His plan is to build himself a Frankenposter which he will secretly control like a string puppet.

Hide your best body parts people. Do not leave yourself open to attack or you may be watching your butt-cheeks hang offa the back of a brand new poster.

As you can see, I have cleverly disguised myself as an automobile. Annonymous would have absolutely no use for auto parts whilst building a faux-human to do his postal bidding.

I know this is chilling. And you may need to "take a moment". But don't take too long. He's out there collecting, I tell you!

I do believe our brains are safe. He has commented frequently on the joint mental capacity of me and my posters and he thinks we're all dumber than dog po. HHHA! (oo. sorry about about that little plop of spittle) Little does he know we have merely been masking our mental prowess. (is that spelt right?)

Why, I myself have an IQ of 140. And I got into Mensa last night!

For anyone who wants to join me, here's what ya do. Proceed to Barnes and Noble. They have little paper books with IQ tests in them. What they may not know is sumbody screwed up and put the answers in the back. DUMMY! I copied most all my answers but I must have copied some down wrong cause I still missed stuff.

Then, ya go to the local Mensa chapter. You can not do this if you don't have more than a two digit IQ so that paper test is like....major important.

Anyway, if you run over there and walk alllll the way around the building and look down, they have a basement window, just big enough to slip through. It's totally unlocked. (and they're the smart ones? DOH!) You just slip yourself right through there and sneak up to one of there super smart meetings. I gotta tell ya though, it's about as boring as watching a bug-zapper. They use big words and talk about stuff that has no importance at all like science stuff and crap. I tried to bring up good action movies as a topic but they just looked at me like I was stupid. (Right, AS IF! I only scored 140 on my test so we KNOW I'm smart)

Check it out if you wanna see what smart people are like. But take your own sandwich cause one those guys has a fetish for bread crusts or something. There's nary a crust on one sandwhich and....worse yet, no freakin meat. They've got cucumbers in there. Who eats that crap?
 
posted by Crabby at 12:06 PM |


19 Comments:


At 1/18/2006 2:25 PM, Blogger jungle jane

Crabby you look like a blue Osama bin Spongebob.

I think that Anon would probably want my brains and my CD collection.

 

At 1/18/2006 3:20 PM, Blogger Crabby

Hizzle, THANK YOU! I know this is a shock but I'm not 100% techie savy. LOL!

Jane, Hizzle just hooked me up so I can sing for you. I know you're smiling. Admit it. You're in love with my voice.

I look like SpongeBob? Really? I love spongebob. He's very sexy.

Do not let Anon get your brain. Wear a hat and maybe a disquise. We need your brain over here. Lately you've been coming up with all the good stuff. Then I just get to coast and use your ideas. ahhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha!

 

At 1/18/2006 4:16 PM, Blogger josh williams

Do they all have the last name anonymous? I dont think the spongebob found dead was the famous one, just a distant relative, but still a little to close for home.

 

At 1/18/2006 4:26 PM, Blogger Kami

HI! Of course you can link me!! :) I get in trouble all the time, though. ;)

 

At 1/18/2006 4:36 PM, Blogger Crabby

Trouble, is what we like around here.

The more you get in, the less they suspect me.

bwaaaaaaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha!

 

At 1/18/2006 5:25 PM, Blogger Kelly

Just checking out your site. I must say you are awfully talented with photo shop! LOL Great post!

 

At 1/18/2006 5:58 PM, Blogger Tumbleweed

Anon can have some of my ass, there is plenty to go around!

 

At 1/18/2006 6:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous

I thought you rode the short bus? Don't you have a "Special Helmet" you're required to wear?

 

At 1/18/2006 7:39 PM, Blogger Crabby

Josh, do you mean.....my spongebob is still alive???? I am beside myself with joy and ....yes, eager anticipation of the day that spongy and I will meet and make mad passionate monkey love.

Um....that was a helmut? I thought they were giving me a giant coffee cup. Yes, this explains why I keep burning my chin when I tip the danged thing to drink.

Kelly, thank you! You would not believe how long it took me to figure that blasted program out. Not to mention how many hairs I pulled outa my head. I'm come by and visit.

Tumble, you can't share your arse with Anon. We don't like him because he's hateful mean. Remember?

I probably ought to grab a hold of Jane before she starts giving him her liver. Forgot about that. I swear that girl is always in trouble.

Speaking of trouble, where's Milkmaid?

 

At 1/18/2006 7:41 PM, Blogger Crabby

ahhhhhhhhh hahaha ha ha!

Did I just tell Kelly, I'm come by and visit? I reckon I'll wear my helmut too whilst I ride the short bus out. I mean, now that I know it's not a coffee mug.

 

At 1/18/2006 10:49 PM, Blogger josh williams

Crabcake: Someone posted on my site in my name and URL "Crabcake your a whore"... I did not post this nor the short bus comment I just scrolled down while posting this comment. Like my buddy Roscoe someone is posting in my name. Its not my stye. Trust me on this one. Josh

 

At 1/18/2006 10:55 PM, Blogger josh williams

Crabcake, I logged on and the little waste basket to dispose of my posts is not present on the short bus comment. Its not like I had a great reputation but I am not a flamer either, so give me the benefit of the doubt. I will post a disclaimer on my site and keep on, if you know how to stop what is happening,let me know. Thanks JW

 

At 1/18/2006 11:10 PM, Blogger Crabby

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 

At 1/18/2006 11:13 PM, Blogger Crabby

Josh, it's ok. Really. I do trust you. This stuff has been happening all over the blogs.

And a big thank you to our hijacker. I've been waiting for you.

You are soooo busted!

Glad it could me.

 

At 1/18/2006 11:56 PM, Blogger josh williams

Cool Crab, "once again the blog is running on greased grooves"...Kinda of stolen from Steinbeck but he said world instead of blog. JW

 

At 1/19/2006 12:04 AM, Blogger jungle jane

okay crabby i emailed you a picture of my head. i hope you will use it to introduce me to another hottie like Olga. i miss her so much - my heart is in pieces...

 

At 1/19/2006 12:20 AM, Blogger mreddie

OK, so I never call but at least now I have written. ec

 

At 1/19/2006 11:18 AM, Blogger Crabby

Josh, I just put every bit of info I had out there. I'm gonna let all you guys find and lynch him. You've earned it. Sounds like he's been causing you guys trouble for awhile now. Whoever it is, they've been here a lot! I must be fascinating! I always knew I was.

Jane, I have your head and I will do great things with it. Olga has had that effect on people before. I think it must be the hypnotic wiggle in her fake eye. Trust me. She is not for you. She's stinky and I think I saw something moving under her drawers...in the back. Can't be a good thing.

mreddie! Finally! I tell you I was beginning to feel like an orphan, an outcast, a....a...one of those birds nobody likes. What are those called? Curse my raggedy memory.

 

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