Sunday, February 05, 2006
After many death threats, the friends (friend) of Crabcake took up a collection from all bloggers who would rather see Crabby live than die. The money would be used for Crabcake to appear on a national news program in an effort to diffuse the would be killer before time ran out. After 12 hours of collecting door to blogger door a total of $3 had been tossed in the "save Crabcake" cup.

Disappointed but not disheartened Crabcake walked her fingers throught the yellow pages until she found a news program she could afford located somewhere in hills of West Virginia. Actually in a shack in West Virginia.

HeeHaw by the fire was happy to get the $3 as they were in dire need of pork rinds and beer. Fire being an extra .50 was not provided.

In the following film you will see not only Crabby's desperate plea for her life on HeeHaw by an empty fireplace, her escape on a cruise ship bound for the bahamas and finally ..... well, see for yourself.

BLOGGERS COME THROUGH FOR CRABBY. OR DO THEY?
 
posted by Crabby at 7:55 PM |


10 Comments:


At 2/05/2006 10:59 PM, Blogger josh williams

I cobbled my computer togethere from a couple of broken Atari games so I could not watch the video. I did not know you needed the cash, Had I known I would have sent all I had...Do you know Jescoe the Dancing Outlaw?

 

At 2/06/2006 12:19 AM, Blogger josh williams

You ever read Tom Waits lyrics (on your site) I am a serial poster of his lyrics and the odd thing is I really dont listen to his music much, but I found his lyric site and its just dang fun. You have been Tagged, now you have to pick 3 to 10 people to post Tom Waits Lyrics on other people's sites, if you do not then good things may happen if you do not good things may happen. Here is my sourch....http://www.officialtomwaits.com/music/m_lyrics.htm
Wrong Side of the Road

put a dead cat on the railroad tracks
when the wolf bains blooming by the tressel
and get the eyeball of a rooster
and the stones from a ditch
and wash em down with bilge water
and you say you'll never snitch
take the buttons from a yellow jacket
the feafrom a buzzard
and thr blood from a bounty hunters cold black heart
catch the tears of a widow
in a thimble made of glass
tell your mama and papa
they can kick your ass
poison all the water in the wishin well
and hang all them scarecrows from a sycamore tree
burn down all those honeymoons
put em in a pillow case
and wait next to the switch blades
at the amusement park for me
strangle all the christmas carols
scratch out all your prayers
tie em up with barbed wire
and push them down the stairs
and i'll whittle you a pistol
for keeping nightmares of the blinds
those sunabitches always seem to sneake up from behind
syphon all the gas from your daddys pickup truck
fill up johnnys t bird
i got a couple of bucks
put a little perfume and ribbon in your hair
careful that you don't wake up the hounds
tear a bolt of lightning
of the side of the sky
and throw it in the cedar chest
if you want to tell me why
bring the gear shift knob from a 49 merc
and lay down here beside me
let me hold you in the dirt
and you'll tremble as the flames
tear the throat out of the night
sink your teeth into my shoulder
dig your nails into my back
tell that little girl to let go of my sleeve
you'll be a woman when i catch you
as you fall in love with me
then with my double barrel shotgun
and a whole box of shells
we'll celebrate the 4 of july
we'll do 100 mph
spendin someone elses dough
and we'll drive all the way to reno
on the wrong side of the road

 

At 2/06/2006 2:03 AM, Blogger barman

Oh no, surely that was not the end of our beloved Crabcakes. There has to be a part II. Say it is not so ...

I will personally donate the $3.50 (lets have a fire too) for another news cast from HeeHaw for an update on Craby... where do I send the money?

 

At 2/06/2006 7:20 AM, Blogger MilkMaid

ahahahahaah Lucy is the star of this episode, sorry Crab.

 

At 2/06/2006 9:36 AM, Blogger Crabby

Dear Josh,

Seeing as how I am dead now and uncertain in which direction I am floating up or down, I may or may not have access to tons of Tom Waits Lyrics.

When are you gonna get a new puter so you can see my movies? I don't know Jescoe but if he was out Friday night I probably danced with him.

Barman, yes...it is true. I am dead. Which means I do not have an address yet. But when I get one, I'll let you know where to send the money. Currently I'm just hanging around. Sort of drifting aimlessly while a decision is made as to wether I take the up elevator, or the down one.

Denny, you cad! You don't have a dog or a cat. You took all that "keep crabby alive" money and went back to the pub to hit on that big busted barmaid again, didn't you? And now look at the fine mess you've gotten me into.

Milky, are you sayin that watching Lucy's backside bop up and down in front of the camera is better than my acting skills? Damn dog always was an attention hound.

Excuse me, one second.

Yes sir. No sir. No I dont' think I did swear. Oh? That's a bad word too? I thought you meant we just couldn't say the ones that started with f.

Um no sir. I wasn't trying to extort money again. Barman offered. I was just.....ok. No, I won't.

But....that's not fair! Nobody reads all those Tom Waits lyrics. There's like a million words in there.

Huh?

Oh. Ok. Yes, I will.

Well, thanks a lot people! Like this isn't the worst pickle you've ever landed me in. All you had to do was donate $1 each. Is that so friggin.......

Yes, sir. But I wasn't being rude. I was just.........oookay.

mutter mutter mutter mumble mutter.

 

At 2/06/2006 10:47 AM, Blogger josh williams

I'll find access to one soon and watch cause I wanna know whats going on here.

 

At 2/06/2006 11:31 AM, Blogger Crabby

Josh, I fear there are some things coming up that you will be able to see very well and might wish you hadn't.

My new avatar is totally nude. It is stategic and totally to make a point. I grew up in the 60s. And I'm proud to say most us aging hippies will still stand up for what we believe in. So nekie it is!

Denny, that's exactly what the big guy tells me. So, it must be true.

 

At 2/06/2006 1:51 PM, Blogger Crabby

Ah, thanks but art has nothing to do with it. Truth is you don't need clothes when you're dead. Unless you just want to wear them.

 

At 2/06/2006 3:23 PM, Blogger Crabby

Hell, I don't know. I have not yet been admitted through the pearly gates. The 2 powers that be seem to be arguing over who has to take me. Seems neither side is overly eager to let me in. So here I hang. Floating amongst the clouds with not a blasted thing to do.

 

At 2/06/2006 6:02 PM, Blogger josh williams

I have access,through a series of tunnels, (not mole related) to a computer with a monitor so I will soon be able to see my blog and the sites I have been commenting on. I'm really excited.