Crabby's Cowpie Field

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Are you feeling lonely? Looking for a companion to help while away those long lonely nights?

Here at Crab Romanitc Inovations, we can help!

We have devised the perfect mate. So life-like you can take them on dates and nobody will ever know they're not human!

We call them, Larry and Betty. But you can change their names to suit your own personal taste.

And here's the best part. They not only serve your needs, they speak!

Larry says:

1. Honey, enough about me. Let's talk about you.
2. I got a new credit card just for you.
3. Let's redecorate the kitchen!
4. Can I rub your feet?
5. I have 9 adjustable inches for you. But let's take our time. I only want to please you.
6. I'll do the dishes. You rest.
7. You look so THIN. Maybe we should get some ice cream.
8. Angelina Jolie looks like a deformed bulldog next to you, my beauty.

Betty says.

1. YES! YES! YES! Right there. Do me. Do me hard. You're such a stud!
2. All I need is your (fill in the blank) to be happy.
3. I've cooked your favorite meal.
4. Can I get you a beer?
5. Would you like me to take off my blouse now?
6. Oh boy, the game is on. Would you like me to massage your neck while you watch it? I promise I won't talk.
7. Why don't you go out with the boys and have some fun. I can take the trash out.
8. I bought you another remote. And some chips.

posted by Crabby at 6:39 AM |

21 Comments:

At 8/02/2006 8:41 AM, Suze

Crabby, can I have the bisexual version. LOL

At 8/02/2006 8:44 AM, indiansfan

Crabby, what is the address to order Larry? Or even Betty. Hell, chips and a remote????? I could learn to live with that kind of treatment!!

At 8/02/2006 9:10 AM, GAB

OOOhhh Im first!

At 8/02/2006 9:26 AM, Crabby

OH my! I'm going to have to speed up production.

Sal, I can't even think of you with one of these dolls, especially on the deck of a cruise ship without LMAO!

Suze, you betcha. Any particular color of hair?

Indiansfan, one of each?? Covers any and all needs.

Gab, boxing him up right now.

PS. We're also developing a dog that doesn't poop.

At 8/02/2006 3:11 PM, Unknown

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Clothing is optional on her right?!

At 8/02/2006 3:18 PM, Zen Wizard

These by your competition don't SAY anything, but kind of have Larry beat in the looks department.

At 8/02/2006 3:41 PM, Unknown

HAHA Zen Wizard. Real Doll lol for $1,499. Why I can get one of those for $14.99. Oh crap did I say that out loud?! :p

At 8/02/2006 4:25 PM, Crabby

Gareth, at these production costs, I can't afford to put clothes on them. You have to dress her yourself. I do include the batteries though!

Zen, oh sure but what good is she if she can't talk? Anyway, mine are lots cheaper.

I think Larry is hot! he has red hair and everything.

At 8/02/2006 4:26 PM, Crabby

PS. Folks, no need to go over to Zen's link. They're not that cute. Larry is way better even without a nose. Just hand your money over to me. You don't have to trouble yourselves with the competition.

At 8/02/2006 5:16 PM, Manny

Ahhhh ah ah ah
Crabby dear, the last thing i want to hear from a man is "let's use credit" LMAO Unless of course I hadn't signed anything.

I might could be interested tho if we could re-program Larry to pay as he goes.

You are a nut and I love you.

For those who do not know, Crab is my real life sister, but she will never admit it.

At 8/02/2006 8:23 PM, Crabby

Ahhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha! Oops. I forgot about that man, bad credit thing.

I admit it. How could I not? She has my legs. LOL!

PS. I'm in here now cause Bob is talking funeral stuff in the next room. The viewing is tomorrow. Please please please, let's hope I make it though this without braying like a jackass. Just once I'd like to have some dignity at a funeral. But dead bodies make me nervous and when I'm nervous, I giggle. I swear I can't control it. The harder I try, the worse I get.

At 8/03/2006 4:10 AM, Manny

I know...me too.

Maybe I won't bust out laughing at my own funeral LMAO. Now wouldn't that be a hoot?

At 8/03/2006 8:43 AM, Tumbleweed

2 Larry's, 1 Betty and a Bob to go please.....can I get fries with that?

BTW, I like big butts and I cannot lie.....you will too! Happy HNT day

At 8/03/2006 9:13 AM, MilkMaid

Woulda make mine look like Billy Lane?

At 8/03/2006 12:16 PM, Suze

Well Crabby, it will have to be red. Is there any other colour? LOL

At 8/03/2006 12:26 PM, Spoony Quine

` Ha ha ha ha haaaaa!! Not my ideal sentences, but I gotta admit that's pretty frighteningly unnatural all the same.
` Actually, my ideal sentences would include: "Let's clean the kitchen," and; "I found the perfect place to practice martial arts!"

` You know, I always thought that Realdolls are scary.

` BTW, that must be one FULL dog!

At 8/03/2006 12:27 PM, Spoony Quine

` P.S. Hope the funeral went on okay without inexplicable giggling.

At 8/03/2006 1:36 PM, Roxi

thats how I roll

At 8/03/2006 1:45 PM, barman

Hey you might want to talk to research and developement for the 2.0 model. How about adding something that lets you record one or more messages that then the doll can say as well as everything else. I think that would be very popular.

Oh and, um a I will take a red popsicle and a piece of candy, one paper and shssssss one Betty to go.

At 8/03/2006 3:58 PM, Lori

Doin' the dishes? Oh, yeah, baby.....

At 8/04/2006 2:00 AM, Mone

I want Larry!!