about
Meet Mrs. Webster bird.
Webster, like every other animal in this house, has gone full “horn-doggie”. He’s been making mad, crazy, parrot love to this thing for the past 3 days. At first I thought, nawwww, he can’t be doing what I think he is. But there he was, wings spread out around it, making all these peeps and mewling sounds, thrusting and panting. And when he pulled away ….. well let’s just say ….. there was evidence, by damn!
In the meantime, Smilin George is still humpin his bunny until he reaches victory then has to wobble fast as he can under the nearest chair before Lucy grabs his left over hanging victory and plays with it like a tug toy.
And then there’s Creepy Lola. Creepy Lola was supposed to be dead by now. She was born with a hump in her back. She has cataracts, arthritis, and no teeth. Lola’s greatest offense and the true reason fo
r her nickname is ……. She’s a poop eater. She not only eats it, she takes left over turds into her kennel and guards them like they’re a great delicacy. She’s been operated on for breast cancer which came back last year. And still at the ripe old age of 19, she continues to live! Go ahead and laugh but I’m telling you, there may be something to this poop diet. I do believe Creepy Lola has discovered the secret of living forever. I think I’ll just die when my time comes.Sigh. Lucy was my only normal animal. And now she’s become convinced her tail is out to get her. She chases it all the time. Round and round and round, till she gets dizzy and falls over.
My question is, what the hell is going on? Why is every living thing in this house a circus freak? Is it me??? Say no.
Oh no, Helen. You first. Cause I live in Ohio which starts with an O and you live in Canada which starts with a C. C comes before O so, you win.
Milky, you only love her cause you can't hear her smacking her gums when she snacks on that aromatic meal of mushed up, been all through your intestinal tract and back, snack every day.
PS. Bob chases my tail. hyuk hyuk hyuk.
Milky, now how come you manage to show up every time I almost have a perfectly good plan in place?
Deb, where are you? Get over here.
Zen, that's gotta be a relief to the dog porn industry. LOL! This dog is gruesome.
Manny, aw, c'mon. You can still move in. She's bound to die eventually. LMAO! But maybe not. I swear, she's even perky.
Far as poop goes. Least I'm not talking about floaters this week. In fact, I've been too much of a lady to even bring the subject up on the blog. Although it surely did fascinate me when I first heard it.
And I tried to make it happen but never could quite pull it off. Or wait .... maybe I did.
BLAST my addled memory!
Sign, did you just ask me about floaters? LOL! YES! I was dying to tell you all anyway. But a little worried folks might start to think I had a fetish or something.
According to a health book I read a few years back, the way to know you're getting enough fiber in your diet is if your poop floats. (I swear I am not making this up)
I posted it wayyyy back when I had Friday's world and everybody on the board was trying to make their poop float for a week. It's NOT easy to do.
If anybody here has floaters, let them speak now or forever be constipated.
Reg, GASP! You take that back, right now, missy. LMAO! I'm gonna have fight dirty here and post a pic of Creepy Lola up close.
Milky, Deb is soooo letting us down. What could she possibly have to do that's better than playing with us?
I'm not weird. You're weird.
Tina, nothing makes Lola's poop unattractive to her. Nothing. For Lola any poop, is lip smackin good.
(shiver)
Sal, LMAO! That's not how they work. They give you a static shock. Not the big "O".
Sandra white again. K, everybody pause for this brief commercial whilst I go kick Sandra's butt for her. I can do that cuz I'm a hick from Ohio.
Suze, no worries there. You catch a wiff of her breath way before she ever gets close enough to do any kissing.
Tumble, that's ingenious! I most especially like the part about getting Jam to be our spokes model. bwaaaaaaaaaaa ha ha ha ha! How much we payin him? 5 bucks? 10?
Denny, her breath is lethal. It could actually be used as a weapon against your biggest and badest foes.
LOLOLOLOL! As if the post weren't good enough, you all conjured me up out of nowhere, lol. I'm sorry I disappointed; I was out of town earlier this week and didn't have the link. Sheesh. Anyway....
If I have to eat shit to live forever, well let's just say it's been nice knowing you.
Anson Williams does indeed move my bowels. But I didn't know that it was fiber that made floaters. But come to think of it, I did have extra salad the other day and lots of raw veggies since I was bound up and even potsie didn't do his magic. I did have a bowl of floaters. I'm also wondering if I don't chew my food enough, if you get my drift.
At 9/03/2006 12:42 AM, 
Spoony Quine
` I've been so busy I haven't been able to keep up with your posts! I'm almost glad I didn't.
` ...By the way, you should really see this comic!
` ...There was another one, but I was already tired enough trying to find it.
Check your shoes before you leave.
Pretty sure there's something in our water. Want me to send you some? Be careful how you use it. And don't give it to animals or old people.