Following a recent mind-blowing perfomance at the Cowpie Field, popular cowbellist and belly dancer extrodinaire, Jamwall, began to recieve countless gifts and love letters from a woman calling herself, "Orgasmic Othelia".
In one such letter she promises to wrap her luscious thighs around Jam's ears, burying his face into her womanhood until he passes out from lack of air. Needless to say those near and dear to Jamwall (mostly Cowpie women who have claimed first dibs) have become quite alarmed.
Cowpie women, lead by the notorious (possibly mis-spelled due to learning disability) and ruthless, Tumbleweed, have been taking turns following Jam's tour bus around the country in an effort to protect him from suffocation by the woman they now call, "thigh Lady".
"We WILL find her. And when we do, she's goin down," declared, Manny as she relieved what was apparently a hellish itch under her left armpit.
"We'll make her wish her momma never met her dadee," agreed, Milkmaid, plucking a course hair from her chin.
But ..... it was the team of Suze, Signgurl, and Crabby who finally spotted the stalker as she snuck upon Jam's tour bus.
Naturally not willing to risk bodily harm they called upon, Seequin, Buddah girl, and Roxie to take her down.
Unfortunately they were busy chatting it up at a local cafe with a former ChipNdale dancer. So they called, Barman and Sal.
"But you don't understand," wailed the stalker as they carried her away, "He completes me! I NEED MORE COWBELL! I WANT IT! GOTTA HAVE IT!"
Sadly, a few minutes later Sal spotted a scantily clad woman in a near by boutique, leaving Barman alone with Thigh lady. Barman was found unconscious and at this time seems unable to speak coherantly (also likely spelt wrong).
"We may never know what she did to him, " Gareth told reporters. This is exactly why Zen Wizard and I refuse to get involved in these cowpie women's hair-brained schemes.
posted by Crabby at 7:30 AM |
At 8/18/2006 1:06 PM, Roxi
barman!!!! are you ok loved one???
* attempts brain ressesitation *
peak Coherantly honey!! PLEASE!!
god.. I am soooo sorry about being distracted by the chip and dales dancer.. I would have sooo been here and fucked that woman up..
OHHH BARMAN!!!
* wails*
At 8/18/2006 1:27 PM, GAB
Im afraid that she used her thighs on barman. Barman you just have to be ok......
At 8/18/2006 2:17 PM, barman
Roxi, did you say something?????
I just don't know what happened. Last thing I new it got all dark and stuff and then ... I can't remember.
Now, let's see. 123574689 oh good, back to normal! LOL
Crabbs, your are up /\ from my comment here, does that help?
At 8/18/2006 2:22 PM, Crabby
Welleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
oops sorry. I got paint stuck on the e key. I'll go clean it up.
At 8/18/2006 2:30 PM, Roxi
barman thank god you are better!!
where is that wreched woman???!!??? its on like fucking donkey kong!
At 8/18/2006 4:54 PM, Manny
LMAO...this is too much. I vowel to protect jamwall at all costs, unless of course I get another itch.
btw, why did I have to get the itch? Ahhhhh ah ah
At 8/18/2006 6:35 PM, Crabby
Manny, did you want the chin hair? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha! You notice I remain as pure as the driven snow. LOL!
At 8/18/2006 9:17 PM, jamwall
its okay, Orgasmic Othelia's suffocating thighs were no match for the cowbell-man's experience in this exact situation.
bea arthur tried the same thing with me. ever since, i always carry a snorkel.
At 8/19/2006 3:54 AM, Manny
All you guy's are just plain crazy.
Roxi-I too would like to know what driven snow is.
Jam-be careful with the snorckel. The hole could get plugged up.
At 8/19/2006 9:18 AM, Crabby
Manny, what the hell is a snorckel? ahhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha!
Roxi, I am too pure! plebbbt!
Jam, I heard Bea Arthur has a vice grip. Is it true? Just wondering.
Denny, what's a mental vacation? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha!
At 8/19/2006 4:28 PM, Suze
Where did you all get to? I ended up grabbing a donut and coffee whilst waiting for you to come back.
Then someone sat on my head...
At 8/20/2006 12:26 PM, Unknown
LMFAO that is great! Why is it always me doing the reporting. I always miss out on the good stuff! :(
:D
about
Following a recent mind-blowing perfomance at the Cowpie Field, popular cowbellist and belly dancer extrodinaire, Jamwall, began to recieve countless gifts and love letters from a woman calling herself, "Orgasmic Othelia".
Check your shoes before you leave.
A baa baa baa ... a baa baa baaaaa ... *drool*