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The slobber queen refuses to let me do my sit ups in peace. And when I try to do push ups, she thinks I'm playing and tries to wrestle me.The problem here, Lucy has outgrown her kennel. The heft of her big yellow self has cracked the heavy plastic floor in 8 places. This dog, now weighs almost 100 pounds. I'd put her on a diet but, she's not fat. Just ENORMOUS! Enormous and playful. I got up in the middle of the night to pee. Shuffled off to the bathroom and nearly broke my neck tripping over the giant wagging mound that is Lucy.
The other night Jake was playing with her with a red laser light. He ran it up the wall to the ceiling. Lucy decided to jump for it. Only thing that even left the ground were her two front feet and then...no more than an inch. No way that beast is gonna get airborn. She landed with a thud I bet you heard at your house.
Add to that, she's a cuddler. She HAS to be where ever I am. Now this is fine when I'm not moving. But when I walk from room to room she follows so closely there is no doubt in my mind if I make a sudden stop, she and I will have to be rushed to the emergency room to have her snout surgically removed from my anus.
As I type this, my trusty drooling companion, has her head on my lap, gazing up at me lovingly. I swear I can't feel my toes. Her fat head has cut off the circulation in my leg.
There must be some way to keep this dog busy. If I put her outside she tries to dig up the skunk hole so she can cuddle with them. Which we all, now know ....... they don't like so much.
OK PEOPLE GATHER 'ROUND. IT'S TIME FOR EVERYBODY'S FAVORITE GAME. WHERE'S CRABBY?
Labels: anus, beast, companion, golden retriever, sit ups, slobber
I know 'xactly what you mean. Lucy is a lover. My friends had a dog very similar to Lucy. She would be on me from the moment I came to visit to the moment I left. Pet me, pet me, pet me... love me, love me, love me. And it just went on forever like that. Luckily she did not follow me around like Lucy does with you, well except for when I decided to go up or down stairs then she woudl be right between my legs. I am not sure how I never fell down the stairs.
Their solution was another dog so that she would have someone to tear around with and get some of it out of her system. Not the best solution but it worked somewhat. Maybe her and pit licker can get together and play!
Oops! There she is! Quick Lucy...GET HER! LOL...aren't dogs fun? I have THREE of those beasts! Jake, Emmett and Bailey. Bailey is the princess AND the diva. Also the smallest of the 3.She's only 67 pounds as to where Jake is 105 now and Emmett is a measly 96...hahahahaha!!
Hey...who does Ohio play this wknd?
ciao bella or should I say...MOOOO?
ebezp, I don't have a computer connection in the kennel. Dang it!
Barman, that's actually a thought. But yeegads the blood when Bob finished with me would be a real mes to clean up. LOL! Still......it's not a bad idea.
Jillie, thank goodness somebody else with big dogs! So you really do get it, huh? One wag of the tail and all your paperwork is wiped right off the coffee table. She's a trip. I have gallon storage bags filled with rocks she's snuck in that I have to dump down the ravine soon as she's not looking, which is pretty much never. LOL!
At 10/02/2007 4:03 PM, 
Vi
Rach, I've been to your blog and I'd recommend every gal here run over and take a look at your last post. I bookmarked you. You rock!
Lime, she IS a pony. Poor thing's been getting herself into trouble all day.
Milky, I knew you'd like that.
Little Wing, I do too. She's big and goofy and all over the place but, she sure is lovable.
At 10/02/2007 10:59 PM, Spoony Quine
` I don't know which is worse, a giant dog, or two kittens that climb on you when you're trying to do something on the computer... or the horizontal lambada (and meow like hell when you shut them in the bathroom).
` Or better, climb up things you have hanging on the wall and get trapped against the ceiling. Hee hee!
` Probably a giant dog that can knock you down is worse.
I once had a dog that followed me everywhere like that...after I popped off a couple rounds of the air soft pistol, he went away...KIDDING. Seriously, there is no way to solve this problem, you are simply going to have to live with it until the day one or the other of you passes. I would suggest in the meantime? you might try getting the dog to drink some beer or smoke some pot, it might slow him down a bit
Check your shoes before you leave.
That is so funny Crabby but a pretty difficult problem to solve.
Maybe you could consider swapping - he has the house and you all move in to the kennel you might have more room!