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During my life time...which is a verrrrry long time...I have taken on a goodly number of just plain "labor" type jobs. I've cleaned houses, washed people's dogs, done their ironing, and oh yeah....I've done the store clerk and server thing more than once. And that's why I have first hand knowledge of what it feels like to be demeaned by another human being who is trying to impress their friends, or just feels.....entitled. If you haven't done a physical labor job, you may be ignorant of the fact that (especially servers) are demeaned on a regular basis often enough by managers who are dumber than dirt. They are asked, nay...ordered, to mop floors, scrub walls and counters, and carry things bigger than they are on a regular basis. And when I was serving they made appoximately $2.10 for the effort. So basically a server's entire wages depend on your generosity.
One unkind statement, one person demeaning you publicly, can ruin an entire night...and is not forgotten even years later. Being unkind to others just because we can is nothing to be proud of. I am driven to post this because I witnessed this kind of demeaning of a woman "trying" to do her job by other "women" today at the market. Women....please...we should be supporting each other, not tearing each other down! (unless of course the other person is an ass)
So as yet another holiday season approaches, while you're out shopping or grabbing a quick bite to eat... remember what I am about to say to you. Cause nuthin' anywhere close to wise is gonna tap off these fingers again anytime soon.
An act of kindness is not only a gift to the receiver, but to the giver as well.It is "free", uniquely yours to give, and will be remembered by the person who received it, long after you've forgotten doing so. So if you give nothing else this year, give a kind word, a warm smile, and be patient. This ....matters more than anything else you will do this holiday season.
Labels: kindness, menial labor
I'm usually quite aware of folks in jobs which put them at the mercy of others who demean them as though their own stuff doesn't stink. I watched the lady at the corner produce store get reamed by a grumpy old man who tried to tell her she had cheated him out of 3 cents... a bully he was. Thanks for the reminder to give out that smile and a deep breath of patience... I do get rather hurried this time of year. Very nice picture in your post.
At 11/12/2007 9:13 PM, 
Unknown
Very good and necessary post, Crabby. Gives me a good feeling because I not only complimented the waitress who served me this afternoon, but over-tipped her as well. Of course, me being who I am, I always do those things, even when the server seems to have a chip on her/his shoulder because I figure it ain’t me he/she is pissed at but some other dude or dudette she encountered before me.
At 11/12/2007 10:05 PM, barman
I am afraid I can not tolerate total incompetence and I do not leave a tip when the service is real bad. But I do not treat them poorly just the same. I must say I think I can count the times I have done that on one hand. Also with the current job, working in IT, the job is basically a service industry job. So I know all to well what it is like to be in their shoes. in my case however, instead of not getting paid well, I can get fired all to easy.
For the most part I realize they have a tough job I would never want. I look the other way on simple things unless it is real important to me. Even then I often approach things like maybe I made a mistake.
I know this time of year is insane in the stores. I do not blame anyone in retail that is less then perky. I so feel for them so I never treat them poorly. Actually I try and avoid the stores as the shoppers are all so rude this time of year.
Great message.
At 11/12/2007 10:19 PM, jillie
I have never been a waitress but my mom and sister were and I have worked in a dept. store. I tell ya, I tip my hats off to waitresses especially because THEY are the ones that get the grunt of the unhappy customer whether it's their fault or not. They work hard and they have a lot of demanding people that don't tip very well if at all. I know two people, I am embarrassed to say, that are cheapies!
There are Dr.'s that I've worked with that think they are above God and are very demanding. I actually walked out on one job.
Thanks for the reminder Crabby ;o)
Sometimes we all need a little bit of a nudge.
Oh how well I remember the rude people when I worked as a server. When I hit McDonals I hated the front counter because of all the rude people. So I asked to be moved to Drive thru so I could "hide" so to speak.
And don't get me started on my manager....heck she ate with her mouth open and talked with a mouth full of food!!!Your advice is smart, one we should all remember especially now during the holiday season when stress runs at its highest.
At 11/13/2007 3:36 AM, Vi
I'm ALWAYS polite and kind to servers, wherever I am, having been in the industry myself for soooo many mango seasons. You are right, no matter how nice a lot of customers are, it's the rare rude ones that leave a bad taste in your mouth and make you think WTF am I doing this just to be treated like s*@T?
Even if I come across a grumpy assistant, I still smile, hoping to get them out of their bad mood if someone else put them in one.
i could not agree more. and i do go out of my way to thank someone when they give especially good service or to remark on a friendly demeanor or anythign popsitive, becasue i know it's an utterly thankless job. and i just hope that maybe getting a little thanks from me makes up for all the other schlubs who either take them for granted or make life miserable.
At 11/13/2007 1:05 PM, Curly Glamour Girlie
I'll never never forget two instances.
One at a Blockbuster where a woman was SCREAMING at an employee for not letting her kid use the bathroom. Ummm....ever hear of OSHA? Not to mention there was a fast food place across the parking lot. I yelled at the lady to leave the poor kid alone.
Secondly happened a month and a half ago and is detailed in my blog about some derranged lady holding up the drive-thru lane and screaming and honking at the person working the window. I yelled at her and then commiserated with the poor soul at the window.
Check your shoes before you leave.
` Totally! Laborers do get abused so much! WARNING: I feel a semi-pointless rant coming on!
` My laborer boyfriend, Superhero Lou Ryan, works at a construction site and everyone likes him except for the office temp. She used to mess with his time cards to make him look bad.
` Recently, he wanted some coffee and she said 'no, I'm not washing the pot out again' and he said, 'That's okay, I'll just make it in my cup' and she totally flipped out, screaming at him, and slammed the door!
` !?!?
` Then, he got chewed out by his boss for that and since he didn't want to seem nasty, he didn't tell the boss what really happened (but the 2nd guy did later).
` Well, at least this isn't like his last construction job where THAT boss would do stuff like call him in front of everyone else (because he was one of the few non-druggie losers on the team and actually could do things and keep track of stuff and not show up late) and start yelling and making up stuff about how crappy his performance supposedly was!
` You'd think that Lou wasn't the best employee, but he probably was. I think the boss felt threatened because Lou didn't depend on him for direction constantly and would try to help the boss instead of drag him down - actually, he got fired a lot for that very reason.
` Finally, he quit because the boss called one day, demanding to know why it took him five hours to paint, etc. one door and two windows. And he said, 'um, didn't you even see where I was working? I did ten windows!' and his boss started screaming at him, saying he was lying, so that was the end of that.
` After that, he also got some money from the guy because he had broken his hand on the site and was unable to pay his medical bills, and the boss had neglected to tell him that he had insurance.
` Indeed, laborers are easily abused. So good he is treated decently in his current job (he is also a movie producer on weekends) and he even gets paid 35 bucks an hour!
` That's enough to buy a MacBook Pro! (Also, it's enough to help me with the new car payments - what do you think I should call it?)