about
THIS is why I don't like to go to little kids parties. Right here. For some reason, all other adults can sit quietly in a corner, undisturbed by the little buggers. But me? NO! For some reason, all little kids, every one of them, male, female, doesn't matter....they all think I'm a 5' 1 and a half inch toy.They play with me. They do my hair. They paint me with cake icing, stick straw wrappers in my hair, and tell me their deepest secrets. In short, they somehow have gotten the idea that I am one of them. Much to the complete delight of other adults who then shoot embarrassing photos and videos of the abuse.
And let's not even talk about the little birthday parties that take place on an ice rink. I'm probably the only woman walking with two cracks her ass. Why oh why, do people keep inviting me to these things?
Oh and to make matters extra bad, my husband's x wife from like a gazillion years ago is usually there. Nice. Real nice.
I need a v'cation. Somewhere warm with sissy drinks that have little umbrellas in them and no kids allowed!
Missed them...nay. I did not miss them. I have had many and used them all. ahhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha!
But lately, it's just too easy, you know?
Jane that's a very good idea! Who knows how many free deserts, sissy drinks, and all manner of other things we might get as a result of your cameltoe. It gives us an edge. I like that.
At 1/20/2006 7:13 PM, 
ing
Here's a photo for your moleshot: my favorite actor in the universe, Crispin Hellion Glover. You think?
Milky? It was Saturday when you wrote that? Then this must be Sunday. Egads! I've gone and slept through an entire party day.
Ing, yes, I do believe he'd work. He most definitely has the look of a mole people.
mreddie, ahhhhhhhhhhh ha ha haha! I am not nice. I'm just short and easy for the little boogers to reach.
Ah, come on Lady, we'll protect you from becoming some big ugly gal's bitch. Look how well we handled ourselves last time. Well, everybody but Jane but she's always in trouble.
Wally, wally, wally, I knew somebody would pull out Pipi Longstocking. But you, Wally? You? sniff. sniff. (happily the pepperoni they stuck to my back doesn't show here)
Josh, he's one of YOURS?
ahhhhhhhhhhhh haha ha hahaha!
I thought he was one of mine! I have a relative who posts on the blogs too and he's always coming after me to give me a hard time. Oh boy, your brother probably thinks he's been flamed by a loonie. LOL! I guessed that's not totally off base. I gotta visit him again now.
OO. Hang on, Ing. I'll get the economy sized blender and one of those little inhaler things. LOL! Sorry about the uphill run. We rented this house so we could more easily watch for Mole people.
Hang on! Where's all the umbrella sticks? They were right here a minute ago.
At 1/22/2006 5:20 AM, ing
Jane, I dunno how you did it but I know you did. Somehow you have figured out how to manipulate the mailman. That drink was SUPPOSED to come to me.
Larry. sigh...it all started years ago when I accidentally shot silly string under the bathroom door when the oldest one was making her daily deposit. (she feels so good when she does this that she used to sit there and sing so everyone knew what she was doing) Anyway, I inadvertantly squirted the silly string under the door scaring what little load she had left right out of her. Ever since the children have been out to get me.
Ing, I have been trying to find the answer to that one all my life as I have been fated to be an eternal stick sucker. Perhaps I should put my private dick to work on that one. Once I have the answer I can then turn this abysmal mess around and begin to enjoy life fully. Or I could do as I have always done and comfort myself with a gallon of cookies and cream ice cream. And then go set a nice little bag of poo on fire at Jane's doorstep, ring the bell and run like the wind.
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Check your shoes before you leave.
We should all go. Eat nachos, drink, dance, get loud, get arrested....the usual vacation stuff.