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By now you all know that last Thursday in the world of me will forever live in infamy as..... BLACK THURSDAY. In fact, I hereby declare all Thursdays, Black Thursday.One of the things I had to do last week after my morning fiasco and before the cop was... go to the market.
As always, I was not prepared. Which meant I had to write my menus out as I went. So I did. Quickly as possible which means....abbreviating.
here's my menus abbreviated. And below that the mockery Bob made of it when he got his hands on it and read the damned thing to Jake.
Stirfry
beef rst, pot, car, b sprt
Swiss steak
veg soup
ch cab, barbecue Dk-bake pot
pot leek soup
bkd snt, stuff chop,veg
Bob's version read outloud to dramatic groaning by his audience of one...Jake
Bob: "She's going to try to make stirfry again."
Jake: "I can't eat another tofu stir fry." grooooannnn.
Bob: "beefrrrst. Be first??? Pot? Is that legal now? Car. OMG! She's cooking the car!"
Jake: "She's probably covering something. Can't taste worse than any of the other stuff she makes."
Bob: "Baked snout? where do you buy snout?"
Jake: "Are you sure it's snout? How's it spelled?"
Bob: "S..N...T"
Jake "could be snot."
Bob: "Baked snot? That doesn't sound very good."
Jake "You expected good? With Mom cooking?"
Bob: "OH CRAP! Barbecue dick? I have a meeting that night."
Jake: "Me too."
All I've eaten for the past week is tomato soup and bananas.
I used to love tomato soup, but not anymore.
I'll be so happy when i get to eat cereal again. OUCH.
Tonight after class, my boss calls me and asks me if i want him to pick me something up on his way in to work. This has become an every wednesday night thing and the coolest part is, he doesn't make me pay him back. I get to choose anything I want. Well tonight I say, you know C, I don't think I will be able to chew anything. He says, how about some of them jalapeno cheeseburger from white castle. They are soft and you should be able to handle them and besides, maybe the hot cheese will help break up your sinuses. OK I mutter.
He come's in and hands be a giant bag of them there delights I love so much. He sits down and we are eating. Next thing I know he's saying...Damn girl, are you even trying to chew or are you just swallowing them whole. LOL I was hungry.
At 3/14/2007 8:08 PM, 
GAB
Milky, I'm sorry, kid. I tried to get him but....you know how hard it is to get past security.
Manny, Not to fret. Chewing is over-rated anyhow. Long as it makes it over the taste buds and into the belly, that's all that matters.
Gareth, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HA HA HA HA HA! You're such a scene stealer. LOL!
Sign, He's always one-upping me like that. LOL! YOu never know what's gonna pop off his clacking fingers next.
Gab, I'm very out of practice. I got used to eating out more and cooking less. Now we're on this osterity program (we're poor. LOL) and I have to cook. ICK!
G, would you like to come to my house for some baked snot? LOL! It's the thursday special.
Cazzie, have G pick you up on the way over. I'll try and come up with something good for desert.
Dirk! There you are! How's the misses doing? I better come visit and see if there are any new developments on the baby dirk front.
Dirk, I know how to spell mrs. geez. My spelling is deteriorating with my good looks.
Mone, that's rigatoni......I think. Pretty sure. Ya gotta remember, I am not the world's best cook. (extreme understatement) LOL!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HA HA HA HA HA! CHECK OUT MILKY'S SHAMELESS PLUG ABOVE. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HA HA HA! She uses me like a whore.
Happy Meal just took on new meaning.
My signature dish (when my cooking career was in its infancy...) was a fried plantain thing. I had sworn off meat after learning that male calves are shipped off to the slaughterhouse as mere toddlers, and I went to the bookstore and bought some vegetarian cookbooks.
I don't remember the details of this particular recipe, but somehow I missed the part about peeling the bananas.
"Frd Plant" on my grocerie list would still send my entire family to meetings.
Check your shoes before you leave.
FINE...
DINNER MENU
Monday ... TOmatoes soup and crackers
Tuesday ... Grilled Cheese Sandwiches
Wednesday ... Cold cereal
Thursday ... Mac and Cheese
Friday ... ToFu Surprise
Saturday ... Everyone fend for yourself
Sunday ... Crow
That will teach them!!!