about
Sadly, cow-tipping has become an addiction for many Ohioans. Such folks can be found wandering aimlessly about from farm to farm, tipping cows until they’re spent and exhausted. Quite often cow-tipping addicts are found snoring among the cow piles early the next morning. Upon discovery, farmers have been known to shoot them in the ass with pellet guns. (which by the way, hurts like a booger, not that I have personal experience.)
Don’t misunderstand. Ohio takes full responsibility for their cow-tipping addicted citizens. Meetings are held daily at several churches. Sadly nobody ever shows up because meetings are held during evening hours, prime time for tipping.
Enough about the down sides of cow-tipping. Let us move on to your cow-tipping lesson!
My word! I am excited for you!
First I advise you start with a hearty meal. Cow-tipping requires stamia!
Don a decent pair of sneakers on the off chance that the farmer is still awake and has his gun loaded.
Then begin your search for the perfect cow.
Ahhhh. Here’s a good one. The single-udder cow. Single udder cows are meaner than chicken spit! That’s what makes them so damned fun to tip.
Real quiet like, ya gotta ….tippy-toe…..tippy tippy tippy tippy ….up on the big booger. And for the sake of all that is good in this world, don’t fart or nuthin’. They don’t like that. They don’t like it a lot.
Once your close enough, shoulder up to her, dig yer feet into the dirt real deep like, and PUUUUSSSSSH! PUSH!
If she turns her head, even a little, that means you probably farted and didn’t notice in all the excitement. But
that one-udder cow, did. And she’s pissed.
Occasionally, these things go awry. When this happens, it’ll generally take ya a month or so before you can put yer crutches back in the pantry. But HEY! That’s what makes it a sport! Am I right? Or am I right? Wouldn’t be no fun if there wasn’t some kinda risk.
At 4/15/2007 5:15 PM, 
wmy
Good Morning Crabby.
Ya know, I have so little time to blog anymore,and it's crazy over at my place at times, but I want you to know what an important part of my blogging life you have played...
Immeasurable!!
I feel very guilty when I don't harrass you daily!
I just want you to know, how much I care, and respect your creative energy.
Pam..You Da Bomb!!!
Galen xox
Crab, you couldn't tip a friggin' North Country cow today because their feet are frozen into ten inches of goddam snow.
Cows were on my mind this morning...
Milky, Bring your tripod with that camera. I'm gonna teach you first hand how to tip.
Gab, It's a walk in the park, baby. Once they're sleeping, they topple like dominos.
barman, The Mexican cows are tricky in the afternoon. But if you bide your time, you can get them.
Ah, those Texican cows don't intimidate me. I have a step stool.
Monkey, it's ever so much better!...my toe is better too. All in all, if I don't break a body part today, I should be back in full "get about" mode. ;)
G, A hammer to the head would have worked better. LOL!
crabby,.....oh, that's me.
cap'n corky, those mushrooms can get you into a lot of trouble. LOL!
Cazzie, they don't mind. They like the attention.
Iris, if you guys can tip Allegra, my hat is off to you. She's not just big...she's meaner than snot.
Milky, I don't deny it. I most certainly have co-ordination issues.
Seequin, the single udder cow is not a cow to be trifled with, for sure. I'll be over later to check out your new stuff.
Sign, I LOVE snipe hunting! (are you feeling better?)
wmy, these pics were done on a pc with a program called Picture It. Now I have a Mac and I use photoshop. Took a while longer to get the hang of this one. And I still don't have it all figured out.
Why G-man, you had me at good morning. Don't worry about blogging time. That thing called life slips in there and slows you down all the time. LOL! Not to fret. When you get the time you'll be all over the place again, causing no small amount of trouble.
Wize, there's no way you'd get me out there in the cold these days anyway. I have a hole in the bottom of my boot. (no idea how I did it) Poor critters. Bet it's hard to find grass under all that snow.
Check your shoes before you leave.
You are such a GOOBER. This has to be an Ohio cow, cuz a Texas cow would have totally kicked your ass before you got close.