I read below yer lookin for a broad to do yer dad. I'll do him.

Shirley, Um...no offense but...I was hoping for someone who didn't have herpes.

that cleared up. bitch!

I will help you out dear. Lord knows I have millions stashed away from my daughter Peter, since s/he is a no goodnick, I have to spend my money elsewhere or Hinkleshire will get it.

You are the nicest, cleanest girl on the internet, crabby. The other sluts on the magic box need the size of their holes reduced too, and I'm not referring to the nasal ones. They are stretched out from overuse... in your case I guess you sneeze a lot dear?

Isn't that a bitch? Everytime I sneeze, I pee a little. But I have a feeling low in my withered womb that reminds me of my sweet Horatio, too.

Iris, thank you! And my nose holes thank you too. I do sneeze a good bit now that you mention it. And I have a powerful keen sense of smell. Why, I can smell rain a whole day before it gets here.
But if I don't do something soon, I'm afraid bats will confuse my nose holes for caves, fly in, and roost. That would probably be more uncomfortable than that apricot I had stuck up there a few months ago.

Oh dear God.

I'm thinking your nose holes should be treated to a weekend at a spa. I also think having your mean kid scooping the dog's poop might help them from growing and flaring so.

Make your kid do the dirty work and give your nostrils a rest. Got that?

I found some before and after pictures for you.

I think I would just go to a plumbing supply store and get some of those reducers they carry then stop by an artist supply store and get some paint to match you nose color. Paint the reducer and insert... problem solved.

I have .33 you can have.

Buddah, what would they do at a spa for nose holes? LOL! I'm imagining alllll kinds of stuff.

Barman, some of those pics don't look very different from each other. I want my holes smaller than that. and I want a perky nose. And...straighter teeth too. Yeah, that's the ticket.

Manny, That's all you have???? Look in your underwear drawer. Don't you have some dollars?

I really like the purple udder pasties in your new header.

Bwahahahahahaaaaa!

Iris, bite it.

One suggestion, if you stop picking it, that will slow the hole growth.

Maybe Jake's been sticking his fingers up your nose when you're sleeping.

Why don't you just cut your nose off altogether??? It couldn't be cheaper - a pair of scissors, couple of band aids, a towel to soak up the blood, the Beginners Guide To Surgical Procedures book and a bottle of disinfectant and the phone close at hand in case anything goes wrong, which it wont because it's a simple cut.
You'll look fine after it. Bob will love as much as he did before. Ummmmm scratch that - the kissing thing probably wont happen again and he'll find it easier to buy christmas presents for you. Balaclavas have many uses :)

Dammit!! There goes another perfectly good mouthful of mountain dew...spewed all over my puter screen!!

LMFAO here, a nose hole reduction, I am waiting to see that on one of them makeover shows. MAybe we can all dobb you in and put in a referral to them for ya?? Wanna look like Barbie?? LOL
You crack me up.
What about botox injections into your nose..ewwww, ouch lol

Have you been sticking increasingly larger items up your nose? (i.e. pinky, then index finger, then thumb?) I wonder if it works like those people who put the disks in their ears...

Clothespins are pretty cheap. Clamp 'em shut.

your too funny. Um lets see I have a washer and a needle does that count?

Nose holes...

I think you have just given me new fantasy material.

Hey, I got together with D.N.R. yesterday for a bite to eat at Smokey Bones. Good soul.

We are close, so we gotta meet up.

Bloggers asr good folks.

Milky, spinners would have been better.

BT! GASP! AND GASP AGAIN! I don't pick my nose. I blow delicately.

Sign, ICK!!!!!!! and EWWWWWWWWW!

Gareth, what kind of help is that? huh? why would I want one big hole in the middle of my head that anything could fly into?

wmy, share that Mountain Dew, babe. I need the caffeine this morning. OY...am I beat.

Cazzie, I hadn't thought about those make over shows. They do all that crap for free. Course then they expect you to exercise. As if!

Kept! Have you been talking to BT? Just because I inadvertently got a dried apricot stuck up there doesn't mean I put things in on purpose. tsk tsk.

Shell, you just gave an idea! What about...super-glue?

Gab, a washer and a needle? LOL! You're scaring me.

I have dedicated a post to our friend, Dirk_Star, here.

its because of all that coke your snortin..

hehe

joke..

LOVE YOU

What are dollars?

OH, you must mean those things I'm fixing to send those nice folks down at the IRS.

` ...If you ever come down with a case of nose bats, you can change your name to Nostril Dame!

` That was lame. Oh well.

` OMG!! For the rest of you - one of the Willowbrooke residents has jumped out of the window into my backyard!
` I'm not kidding!!!

butchieboy....damn man. It's wayyyyyy too early for feuding. I haven't even had my coffee yet. Give an old woman a break, will ya?

Roxi, you sweet thing you. Where have you been, kid? I've been missing you.

Manny, dollars (from what I understand) are what separates the people who have to sand and stain their own stairs and folks who pay someone to do it. LOL! (sigh) Did you know there are muscles in your butt cheeks? I know cause mine mine are almost to sore to sit on.

Seequin, You thought that was lame? I kinda liked it. LOL! I'll be over to see what oldie invaded your space soon as I wake up or get back. We're gone most of the weekend. So I'll be in and out.

...And you wonder how an Apricot can get stuck up your nose?

Mornin Crabby, I'm headed to Horton's right now!
Have a great Easter. xoxo

Yes I knew we have muscles in our butt cheeks. I have been on my treadmill and for the first 3 days my butt hurt so bad. My boss told me I wasn't suppose to sit on the treadmill, but walk on it. LOL

Please come save me from the wallpaper monster.

Happy Easter oh keeper of the Cows. I thought you were suppose to be running around all nekkie and getting crazy while Jake was gone. I hope you put on clothes when you left the house.

Hope your weekend went well.

Ok, I've been trying to solict donations, and have only been able to get about $3.50 (see the south park "Loch Ness Monster" episode for the what $3.50 means)-- anyway, I have faith that you'll get the money for the reduction ;0)

Mornin, G-man! Course I'm a day late but ... ahem.....I've had a very fine time so I know you'll excuse my absence. Easter was great too.

Manny, wallpaper make bad juju for Crabby. I wear a garlic necklace if I just go into a house that has it because my memories of taking it down are still so vivid.

Barman, I hope you had a great Easter too. We were invited to a friends home. There were 15 people there and all of them were fun. So...it was good.
We HAVE been runnin' around nekkie. LOL! That's why my desk isn't together.

Miss, I think that gives us a grand total of around 7 smackers. I'll be needing a cheap surgeon.

Boy, that is one hole I thought just stayed the same throughout our life.

Crap.

This is happening to my human too! You could drive a truck through one of her nostrils. I don't recall her looking like this 8 years ago.

Maybe you could get a 2 for 1 surgery? She will go with you.