about
It hurts me, literally, to be in a position to have to say this out loud but......... if you ride around in a convertible all day on Sunday, do NOT experiment with a level 2 tanning bed on Monday. Even if it seems like a really good idea and it's 5 dollar tan day. Cause when you're standing there and all of a sudden you think to yourself..... "Gee, this felt really good at first, but now it kinda feels like a giant is ironing my face. hmm. what up with dat?" That's cause, your face is, in fact, burning like all the embers of hell.
Then you might NOT want to follow that up with the special $10 Mystic spray on fake tan. Oh sure, you'll look and feel just dandy when you leave. It won't be until several hours later that the following conversation takes place over yet another lovely meal shared with the guys.
Jake: Hey Dad, look a Mom. ha ha ha ha ha!
Bob looks up from his dinner plate, turns to me, and his mouth drops open..."What the hell happened to you?"
Me: What's wrong with me?
Jake: Did a bottle of iodine explode in your face?
Me: No.
(insert roaring laughter from both men)
Me: SHUT UP, JAKE!
Bob: You look like an Indian.
Jake: With glass eyes.
Bob: NO! You know what she looks like? With those new contacts she looks exactly like a dead fish that's been parboiled.
Jake sniggering like a hyena: Yeah! one of those fish you find washed up on the beach after a couple of days.
(insert more roaring laughter. )
It was at this point I realized my skin felt like I'd been sprayed with liquid pepper. I didn't want to give the two clowns the pleasure of knowing they got to me so I sat there eating my dinner, completely ignoring them and working my sudoku puzzle. pleebbbbbbt!
But soon as dinner was over and Jake had gone, I ran to the bathroom. And stubbed my damned toe on the door jam which hurt like a bastard. It took a couple minutes of hopping around and cursing before I got a look at myself. "Son of a sea serpant! My face is the same exact color as my hair!"
I am red..... and orange....everywhere. I look like a mutant tomato with eyeballs and fingers.
The thing is ... I knew, I shouldn't go into a level two bed when all I ever do is the spray tan but, I dunno. There's some chip burned out in my brain or something that causes my good sense to be completely over-ridden by impulse. Simply put ..... I wanted to see what would happen.
PS. I wanted to thank all you guys for voting for me. I truly do appreciate it and am honored that you would take the time to not only vote but leave all those great comments. Considering you guys all have blogs, jobs, and lives of your own that you're busy with, it's just beyond kind of you to go to so much trouble. So thank you again most sincerely.
PPS. to keep the Cowpie Field in the lead because you KNOW we'll be chased like a Hooter's waitress running butt nekid through a men's college dorm...... VOTE THUMBS UP HERE
(and don't forget our pal Gabby. She has an interview too and so does Sign. So, sue me, I'm linking them for your vote too. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha! Yeah, I know, I'm worse than those Jehovah's Witness dudes that come to your door and won't leave.)
VOTE FOR GABBY HERE
VOTE FOR SIGNGURL HERE
Labels: burning, convertibles, dead fish, irritating men, tanning
At 7/24/2007 2:53 PM, 
GAB
ebezp, it wasn't too uncomfortable. I could still get my mouth open to put the food in. LOL!
I love you guys too.
Gab, I'm still voting for you and sign too.
curly, I'm hydrating like a mad woman. No more UV tans for me. I'm too irresponsible. LOL!
Manny, the spray tan is still the only safe way to get bronze. And there are sunless tanners you can buy on line that work great and will supplement the professional one and keep it dark longer.
ebezp, we're buds. You don't have to thank me.
I KNOW! There's new blood over there every day looking to knock me outa the sweet spot. LMAO! It's a jungle in blog land.
Sign, I look like a human lobster but I love you for not noticing. And you're welcome but...honestly, I'm kinda dreaming of me, you, and gab going to the final top 3. Yeegads! I sound like a reality show!
Zen, for sure! No more UV stuff. I'm just too dumb to be safe in those.
Barman, I also colored my hair. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha! I wasn't gonna tell but...it's pretty much lookin like your Raggedy Andy wig. LMAO!
Cazzie, you know if you like red...I'm not half bad. Aloe Vera. I don't have any but I should get some. I have heard it helps lots.
Milky, I figured you'd enjoy that, ya turn coat!
Nick, you might be getting to know me too well. Bet that scares the bejeebies outa ya, huh?
Jodes, Hi babe. How are you? I've been missing you around here.
ebezp, how amazingly cool is this? And here for awhile this afternoon I was thinkin I was having a bad day. But I'm gonna post about that. LOL! What do we have left to go now...6 or 7 days? Phew. This like running for president or something.
sayyyyyyyyyyyyyy....have we ever had a red-haired, freckled, president?
Pecos, I'm fit as a fiddle. I was back the normal the next morning...cept of course...I'm multi shades of red, golden brown, and orange. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha!
Yanno, I always spend a few seconds staring at your avatar. That is soooo cute!
Check your shoes before you leave.
Tanning stories are a great source of entertainment for others and usually a great deal of pain for the 'victim'. Good words of advice there Crabby.
Oh we vote cos we love you and you're a number one girl!