about
I got my very first rotor-tiller this weekend assuming it would make a hard job ever so much easier and faster. I envisioned myself gliding along the mountain of weeds, row after row. Just me and my tiller skipping through the soil with not a care in the world.
In reality, when I turned on the machine, it went one way. I went another. It was a buck, thump, hop and tug dance from the pits of hell. By the time I was able to turn the thing off and go inside to, "please Lord", mercifully pass out, dirt and weeds were everywhere. I swear to you, I had a dandelion petal stuck in my teeth.
Living by the motto, "I'm a loser, not a quitter, I returned to work in heavier shoes with 3 glasses of water to hopefully give me some weight leverage. I rocked. I fought. I cursed. My hands and feet vibrated and my teeth clacked but I did not give up. Then I noticed several dark shadows passing overhead. Turning off the machine I saw 6 buzzards circling right over my head. (I swear I am not making this up) They did the same damn thing when my dog was dying. Miserable bone pickers!
"Frack you, butt wipes!" I shouted to the sky. (frack is my substitute for the better and far more satisfying swear that I'm not supposed to be using so much any more)
On I went. I tilled up bricks, golf balls, and a plastic hand. Then the back of the tiller flew off.
"Yeegads! I've killed it!"
No such luck. It was just the back panel to the battery pack. So we had to go to the hardware store to try and find new nuts and bolts. Bob drove because nobody particularly wanted me touching anything at that point. For some reason he drove with the windows down even though we have air conditioning. Guess he wanted to enjoy the spring air.
While we were sifting through various nuts and bolts I overheard one of the store employees talking to a customer. "Phew! Boy that is a ripe smell isn't it?" A little while later I heard a similiar comment. I left the aisle to see what they were talking about but everything seemed fine to me. When I turned to go back and help Bob, I noticed he was fanning his nose. hmm.
All at once, I had this humiliating notion. I raised my arm and sniffed my pit. Seemed fine to me. But the woman coming round me gave me an unusually wide berth. Could it be me???? I honestly didn't smell a thing. Course I have heard it said that people who stink rarely notice it themselves. I guess we'll never know.
Labels: buzzard, dance, earthquake, garden, stink bomb, suffer
It's all Bob's fault. Why didn't you stop at the local car wash before going to the parts store? Now those brushes would have hurt a little and the water might have been either hot or cold but you would have been clean as a whistle.
Maybe you should go back and see if they have a wanted (or not wanted) poster of you tacked up on the wall. :)
Oh I am jealous. I want to get a tiller myself and do my garden and flower beds. The ground will be much softer and a lot less ground to do so I will only need a small one but I imagine it will be a lot of work too.
You want to try a torture machine? I forget if it was the de-thatcher machine or the plugger airator (probably the latter) but it about kilt me and I am just a bit bigger then your scrawning sit upon. (I thought you might like that instead of your usual reference to your sit upon).
MONE! GASP! Get your butt back here right now, missy!
Milky, don't encourage, Mone. She gets into enough trouble without any help from you.
Barman, I was gonna smack you. Then I started trying to fill in the pond outside by myself. Digging dirt in the hot sun wears a body down. Jake has already given me a lecture about how I'm gonna have a stroke and wait for him to come and help. anyhow, I thought about it and decided, a car wash is about the only way I'm gonna have enough energy to get clean. LOL!
Manny, you're an opportunist. plebbbt!
Barman, too late. I'm running on pure willpower. This project is getting bigger every day.
Our neighbor is a landscaper and he's suggested putting a dry creek bed that runs into the ravine. Then building a bridge over it to connect the existing patio with a new one that will be on the edge of the ravine. I like the idea. But it's gonna be a lot of work.
G....on my worst day....it would be like carrying a vial of "essence of road kill" around with you. LOL! I was shovel dirt all day in the hot sun yesterday. Now that can build up some healthy sweat.
Barman, I make the headers but NO WAY am I allowed behind the curtain. LOL! If I just say I might try to figure it out, Milky panics. Sometimes I'll say it just to see her jump. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha! If it's anything that has to do with html (whatEVER that is) it's off limits to me.
Miss, would you believe the yard work has always been my job? Bob makes the money cause he's better at that. And I do the grunt labor cause I'm better at that. It's a system. But boy...lately, I have to tell ya, it's getting harder and harder. I think I might have gotten outa shape. I'm working on that.
At 5/11/2007 7:17 AM, 
GAB
Isnt the man suppose to till the ground for his lady love so she may plant the fruits of her love? (what?????????????)LOL yep it seems to happen a lot that you dont notice the smell is coming from you.
Do you think those buzzards thought that if nothing had broken that you would have been their next meal?
Check your shoes before you leave.
Please don't take it personally Crabby, but I heard tht the older they get the more they stink ;)
*running around the corner*