about
That fat ass you were making fun of was mine.
Some things you should know:
In a few years those perky breasts will be staring at the floor. Your ass will begin to sag and after the age of....oh...35, your metabolism is going to change. Everything you eat will promptly and stubbornly attach itself to your thighs. Small lines will begin to form around your eyes and mouth. Your pert noses will begin to droop and (to the blonde in the designer short, shorts) you can most definitely expect a turkey waddle...right there beneath your chin. You're already starting to get one so, that's a no brainer.
In your mid to late 40s a great many food products will give you gas and you'll find yourself farting at awkward times. Most of us regular gals blame it on the dog or nearest man. However, if the two of you continue to be rude and conceited...there may not be a man around to blame it on. You see, no matter how good you look, no guy sticks around if you're a conceited bitch. Cause...frankly, you're too high maintenance and not much fun.
As for me, I was wearing weird looking clothes before they became fashionable. Sadly, the departments I'm supposed to shop in at "my age", don't carry much I like. So I end up over there with you, desperately trying to find something....anything, I like that will fit over my thighs.
I find myself currently in menopause and a mid-life crisis all at the same time. Oddly these two things combined have me incredibly pissed off most of the time. I'm damn well feeling the need to rebel against societies labels and thoughts on people over 50! How DARE you or anyone else in this world tell me what I can and can't wear. Screw you! I'm almost 56 years old. I don't have to ask permission. You don't like it, don't look. But don't you dare open your mouth to me again, ladies. Cause I am a menopausal bitch from hell and I got nothin' to lose.
PS. The camo's fit. Sure the zipper popped and they don't have a bigger size but...I replaced them anyway. Pleeebbbbt!
Labels: high maintenance bitches payback rebellious menopausal woman bad taste big ass
OK, wait a minute. I am 44 and my girls still salute in an upward fashion. Of course I am simply a B cup, but I'm ok with that. LOL
All young silly chickies listen up...Everything you have going on right now this very minute...will leave you. AHHHHHHH AH AH AH AH Man are you in for a shock. Tee Heee hahhhahhhahhah
And just wait for the lines to show up. And I'm not talking tan lines either babe. Ahhhh ah ah aha ha
I'm over here laughing my ass off over the things you don't know yet.
Hiya, guys! I love you all. But you know that already. And I am gonna be back here later today to talk to everybody. We have a bobcat here now to finish off our giant dirt hills and ditches. So I am outside working my internet ass off. Been out there since 8:30.
Good news is....I am getting awesome at driving big equipment and junk. LOVIN' IT.
PS. G...if you are the smoothest talkin man walkin, I dunno who is, baby! The gals better watch out when you're on the prowl. LOL! I'm gettin the feeling you get your way a lot!
barman, a sting operation would be cool .... if only we could locate the snobby little snits. Course we might have to wait till I can get my legs to move without yelping. OY! I've been out there working since 8:30 and I'm still working.
Miss, agreed. Gravity should not be allowed to affect any female body parts. It should be a law or something.
Debbie dooodie....that is HYSTERICAL! Mostly cause it's dead-on. LOL! I kept it.
bt.... really? So, can you remember stuff still? Because I can get up to do something, walk into a room, and not remember why I went there.
Manny, You know, even when I was their age I don't remember ever being cruel to anyone. Fact, I KNOW I wasn't because I got so much of that as a kid. I knew very well what it felt like.
Miss, Naw, I was lying. The nips hang in there pretty nice. LOL!
PS. I was pretty darned small chested myself for years and years. Then one day I woke up and BLAMO! The girls had arrived! I remember thinking....Well, it's about damn time.
Cazzie, I LOVE having you in my corner. You can not only tell them off but in the cutest accent! LOL!
G, you are dangerous man with that smooth talking. I fear for all the single ladies in your area. LOL!
MIlky, Pink can buy her own damn hair. I paid 3 bucks for that wig on halloween. I coulda had an ice cap for that.
YES! G is the king of suck ups. The man is GOOD. I'm telling you. I had NO idea what a smooth talker he was.
Curly, those letters are a good way to just get it outa your system, you know? Cause let's face it, chances are I'll never see the little snots again.
I love these britches too! They're comfy! And they go real nice with my red sneakers.
Roxi, I WANTED the green! But they didn't have any green ones left. A trade would be coool! Although I have a feeling my pants might fall off your little person. LOL!
ebezp, YEEGADS! You just reminded me, Gareth tagged me 2 weeks ago and I completely forgot about it. OY! Curse my addled short term memory.
Shell, FOR SURE, BABY! Those gals were sporting the best of everything. No way would they get their hands dirty. Which actually gives me an advantage. LOL!
Sign, isn't it great! I have a blond ho one too. I got Bob to wear it and sing happy birthday to his sister on video. LOL!
Manny, cheap Mexican is sounding very good to me right about now. If I could bend my legs, I'd try to talk Bob into going. Sadly, we've about killed ourselves outside yesterday and look like a pair of lobsters to boot.
Roxie! Another tag? that's 3 tags I have to remember. somebody better write it all down. LOL!
Barman, I like the way Chili thinks. Course with a name like Chili, he'd have to be cool......er....hot....both?
Buddah girl, LMAO! YOU GO! Even though you're way too young, I hereby dub you an honorary member of the menopausal bitches society.
Heads up: We're hitting The Gap next week. Dubbing in.....easy listening music. Should be a lot of barfing and moaning. It'll be fun.
Suze, what do ya think about red hair. It's still pink just....deeper. LOL!
Sign....cool! I'll be needing lots of disguises in the near future.
Kept, YES! That's what we need to do. Start our own clothing company. You get busy on that. I'm at war right now but soon as I "get her done" I'll come help.
Check your shoes before you leave.
Wow baby... I am on my way on over. I am working on the 50 so I think I might just fit right on in. Maybe we can do a sting operation on the two ladies and their friends (should they have only they have not chased off yet). This could be interesting for sure.