about
Things written here are written in jest and not to be taken seriously.
No subject has been directed at any individual unless I specifically named them.
I am not a fitness expert.
I am not a therapist.
I am not a deep thinker.
I do not wish to solve world problems or even little problems. My brain is not equipped for that and as with most simple minded folk...that suits me just fine.
Don't send me helpful information on subjects written about. I promise you, I won't retain it anyhow.
I consider any subject fair game. If you are easily offended or have emotional issues, for the love of all that is good in this world....don't read "my" crap. Because there's an excellent chance anything in my head that taps off my fingers will set you back years.
URGENT ADDENDUM:
First, I apologize. I swear I didn't know Crabmatic Brain Fever was contagious. Sadly, it has become apparent through their comments below that two of my dear friends are suffering from the early stages of this dreaded disease. In an effort to make amends I will now post the warning symptoms for, "Crabmatic Brain Fever".
1. You find yourself laughing at something in a room full of people, look around and realize....you're the only one laughing.
2. Talking to yourself.
3. An inability to focus on another person's words because your brain is busy planning what you want to say soon as they're done hogging air time.
4. Thinking your still fairly smart when you are, in fact, slowly dumbing down, due to excessive, "Crab exposure".
5. An attraction to bright colors and shiny things.
6. An aversion to numbers, unless they're on cash or check.
7. Habitual reality TV viewing.
8. You begin to hum the song....."Short People".
9. An inability to take anything seriously, immediately followed by an uncanny knack of making a complete fool out of yourself.
Crabmatic Brain Fever culminates with the total dumming down of the thought process. And being uncertain even when you write them if big words like culminating are being used properly (which they usually aren't). The up side to this disease is ..... you not only don't give a care, but take supreme pleasure in your dumbness and resent anyone who tries to smarten you up.
And finally for "JU_ _ _" who sent me the email telling me how dangerous it was for me to encourage obesity. And WORSE a link to "statistics", a.k.a. NUMBERS! (cruel bitch) Numbers make my head hurt unless they're on cash or check. Everybody knows that!
A toast to your helpful advice.
mmmmmmm....it's not just butter and rolls....it's sweet full cream butter. nummy nummy in my tummy.
And..sayyyyyy...how about a little extra butter on top of my milk gravy, to go with my "FRIED" chicken? tasty tasty. mm mm good.
You're wasting a perfectly good soap box on me, "JU _ _ _" . I have A.D.D. Now come on down before ya get a nosebleed.Labels: bright colors, buttinsky, buying a sense of humor, fried chicken, HUMOR, individuality, pretentious emails, proud ample bottomed blogger with butter, reality tv, Sense of Humor
At 10/28/2007 4:15 PM, 
Unknown
What’s up, Ms. Crabby? Have folks been taking your blogging seriously? Has someone bitched because she/he stepped in one cow pie too many?
You are much deeper than cow shit and it takes quite a fertile brain to create the humor you do. Soooooooooooooo, my dearest Crabby, while you may warn others of your comical intent, please do not do so at the expense of yourself.
As Alex would say, “OK?”
See, you're making me fret. I must add an addendum above.
Sign, nooo. Not you too. Ok...now I'm definitely including an addendum up above.
Nick, even worse, my friend. A gal who's name starts with "Ju" who I hardly know but have exchanged mails with a couple times from that blog rater site, sent me a mail telling me it was dangerous to encourage obesity.
That's not the bad part.
She sent a link! A link to...statistics about diseases cause by obesity. "STATISTICS" ....a.k.a. numbers! I don't read numbers. I hate numbers! Numbers are like torture for me.
Cruel bitch!
Manny, is it "the gout"? Poor baby sister. I'm sorry it hurts so bad. Doesn't your gout meds help at all? How the heck did you get gout anyhow? A friend of ours used to have that. He'd come to work and limp all day. I felt bad for him.
At 10/30/2007 2:08 PM, Little Wing
Crabby, the damn cow patties are getting high, I got out my wading boots just to get in here!
I would have to believe lauren is one of the cyber stalker crowd that has hit blogland.
And vi should just keep her mouth shut, considering she has two small boys and posts their pictures on her site along with her story of all the guys she has sex with...how's that for a poor excuse for a mother....
Manny is right! Better than daytime tv!!!!!!!!!!!!
Check your shoes before you leave.
` Wow. It's amazing my IQ hasn't gone down too much....