Bob, Jake, and I leave for a food break. It must be said here that I was ready to eat at 10. We left at 12. So I was STARRRVING!
We had awakened that morn to a blizzard. Ok not a blizzard but ice and snow fer sure. So I'd commented on how glad I was I didn't have to go anywhere that morning. Which is how Bob ended up jinxing us!
On the way to edibles Bob smartassedly (no I don't care if it's a word so lemme alone) says:
"Hm. I don't seem to be having much trouble on these treacherous streets."
"DON'T SAY STUFF LIKE THAT! YOU'LL JI....."
didn't even get to finish the sentence. I'd planned to tell him he'd jinx us. But the jinx hit faster than I could talk. He ran into a pothole deep enough to order Chinese food through.
Not only did the tire go flat, but it bent and twisted like a hot pretzel.
"Told ya." I muttered.
At this point it must be said, I hate that friggin car. It's a jag. It used to be mine cuz I thought it was pretty. It was older and we got a good price on it but....I gave it to Bob cuz, I hate the damn thing. The cup holders are about big enough to hold dixie cups. There's no change cubby and its' too fancy shmancy. Meaning, you can't eat in it without getting "talked to". Fancy cars are NO FUN people.
So, Bob and Jake commence to change the tire. but guess what? The lug wrench that came with the fancy shmancy car, snapped in half. So there we sit, in 20 degree weather, with a flat bent up tire and a broken lug wrench. Happily we did manage to pull into an apartment complex busy with people coming and going.
We called triple A, who was just down the street and waited. 10 min. 20 min. 40 min.
"I'm hungry, " I complained. "I was hungry at 10. I'm really hungry now."
"You'll live," Bob assured me.
10 minutes later......."I think my body is starting to eat itself."
Jake snickers in the backseat while Bob gives me a look.
few minutes after that I start staring at the meaty part of Bob's hand. "You're hand is starting to look like the other white meat." I told him.
"They'll be here." he assured me. meanwhile people came and went, our hood was up, tire flat, and nobody offered to help.
"Maybe should call a friend. That would be faster. I'm cold. And I have to pee now."
"too much information," Jake informs me.
Bob begins to worry out loud about repair bills for the tire.
"Maybe it's time to get rid of this thing and get a real car," I suggest. Another look from Bob and I shut up.
Finally a young man pulled in. He was wearing red sneakers and looked cold as could be. He not only tried to help but even told us what apartment he was in if we needed anything. Nice nice kid. And thank God. Up till then I had decided the entire human race had become a slew of buttwipes with legs and cell phones.
Triple A finally came and changed the tire. Oddly, their lug wrench didn't snap. Go figure!
Flippin, friggin, pansy car. I damn near ended up eating my family because of that thing.